Siggy’s Blurbs

Life is never fair.  Nor is giving.  The pendulum swings in a marriage, sometimes, back and forth.  One person gives more of his/herself and then the other.  A vow was made during the marriage ceremonies:  the words “for better or worse”  are there for a reason:  bad times will come to a marriage.  There will be illness, lost jobs, money problems and often conflict, which will need to be resolved.  Sometimes an illness will result in one partner taking care of the other, sometimes permanently (the marriage vow “till death do us part” is there for a reason).  The giving then may become totally unbalanced.  Insisting the giving be always 50/50 puts a strain on the marriage and is really unrealistic.  Really all a partner can do is love the other, not being concerned how equal the give and take is.  Insisting or complaining you are giving more consistently always puts a strain on the marriage.  We are commanded in our vows to love the other in sickness or health (or in any, every situation) (my words).  Each partner only gives what he/she can.  Insisting marriage be always 50/50 is always wrong.

Tags: balance, giving, God, love, marriage, relationships, time, wedding vows
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Writing is primarily psychological.  First you have to have something to say.  You need to be driven to reach out to an invisible audience, to solve  a problem.  You may even know your end point but may not know how you are going to get there or what you are going to expound in the body of your text.

I never overly concerned about grammar (sic! the “fine editor” decided to leave this one as written!).  I know I can or my fine editor, my lovely and talented wife, can go back easily and tell me this or that needs correcting.  To be driven by passion, conflict is far more important.  If the feelings expressed are genuine they will always come through no matter how badly written the piece is.  Expressing yourself honestly and openly is what the reader responds to–not facile-ness.  It can be well written and say nothing.

Having something to say consistently always means providing quiet time for yourself and being able to listen to what the tiny voice inside of you saying:  “this is truly what is important and I want to express that openly to someone.”  Proverbs in the bible says:  “Be still and know I am God”

I am not going to discuss the existence of God in this piece but there is no doubt that one must have periods of reflection to continue to write.  Otherwise that person’s ideas will peter out eventually.  One must let his/her mind roam.  And that process is always psychological.  And that process is always a precursor to writing.

Tags: feelings, God, knowledge, learning, quiet time, reflection, writing
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Making love (the actual physical act) takes very little time in the scheme of things.  Compare the time spent in that opposed to a twenty- four hour day–it is a very small part of your day, week.

Whether you get there is another question.  If I do not treat my wife right the whole day,  she will not feel inclined to me even touching her.  Sex is only the tip of the iceberg.

For that matter sex is far more than the physical act, intercourse or even coitus.  It is how you look at each other, talk to one another.  It is communication.  It is working things out between the two of you.

So much is made of it in our society.  Sex is used to sell everything:  cars, soap, you name it.  People fall casually in and out of bed in movies, TV.  Yet we are so puritanical about it.

Sex is really any exchange between the sexes.  From a look to a soft word.  And sex without affection soon runs its course.  What most people do not recognize is we learn about sex and our relationship to our bodies and others from the very beginning when we are in the womb.

Sex is not the most important factor in a relationship though it is extremely private and the only reason in the bible divorce is permitted is adultery.  The bond of sex is sacred.  And when it is broken, that bond is very difficult to repair and mend.

Sex is only one facet of a relationship.  Honesty and affection are so much more important.  Being able to converse with one another, finding each other interesting after years of being together is so much more important.  Your mate ought to retain some mystique.  I am convinced the institution of marriage was put on this earth for only one purpose:  to get beyond our selves and teach us to love.  Sex is only one way to do that.  Everthing else leads to that.

Tags: affection, communication, God, love, mystique, relationships, sex
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