Siggy's Blurbs: Siggy's Edge of Country …

Am I the only man who thinks his wife is the most stubborn woman in the whole world?!  Or is that what every man thinks about his mate?

I don’t know.  My wife said that I needed to treat her as I did in the beginning of our relationship (and marriage).  Am I just becoming too comfortable with her that I no longer monitor my reactions to her close enough?

All these questions perplex me.  Do marriages enter a second stage at some point?  When the honeymoon ends?  Does every marriage go through this turmoil and change.

And you just have to make it to the other side to survive and hopefully thrive?  Are women that hard to understand?

I guess men have been perplexed and mystified by their others for a long time.  Hell, Eve (or Adam) never got it right.  Why should I be so lucky?  You tell me?

Tags: Adam and Eve, God, marriage, my wife, stubborn, when the honeymoon ends, women hard to understand
Posted in God, humor, knowledge&learning, life, love, marriage, relationships, time, wisdom | 1 Comment »

Cool Hand Luke is the only pet I brought into this marriage still alive. (August will be eight years I have been married.)  There was “Slinky” and “Daisy”, a cat and dog respectively now both dead.  Curiously all three animals are completely black.

Daisy was the first dog I raised from a pup and trained.  I really missed her when she died over two years ago.  Her eyes when I was in the same room never left me.  Slinky was a sweet though timid cat who died recently from cancer.

Cool Hand Luke is appropriately named.  She is one cool character, supremely confident and affectionate who lives in our bedroom.  She always keeps me company when I go to bed.

She loves to go through doors.  If I open our garage door (or any other door for that matter), she darts through the door even if I have it open only for seconds.  She is the only cat with that trait if you want to call it that.  She must be going on nine.

I have seven cats and four dogs and each has their own personality but Cool Hand Luke has a special place in my heart.  She is one cool character.

Tags: affectionate cat, black cat, cat loves doors, cats, Cool Hand Luke, Daisy, dogs, each pet has their own personality, four dogs, pets, seven cats, Slinky, timid cat
Posted in animals, death, local, pets, relationships, time | No Comments »

If you want to upset me confront me unnecessarily and put me in an untenable position.  And do it over minor stuff.  Always give me a way out.  Very, very seldom is it necessary to do that.  Almost never in fact.

If you listen to diplomats, usually every effort is made to reach a compromise pleasing to both.

If you want me to yell and raise my voice continue to do that.  You have a choice in the matter.  Meet me half way.  Do not make it your will against mine.  Do not insist on something being done a certain way.

If the truth be known, there are usually several different ways to accomplish the same purpose but if you insist I do something and you have backed me against the wall and I really can’t do it or think I can’t, I will only get upset.

And it is so unnecessary.  If you are willing to bend, most things can be done peacefully.  And without strife.  ‘Your mother’s ghost hangs over your shoulder’–a line from the song “Triad” written by David Crosby and performed by Jefferson Airplane.

Sometimes you have to realize stances you maintain are really shadows of lessons you learned in your childhood and repeated lessons your parents imparted.  It is not necessary to hang on to them.  They only get you in trouble as you found out.

This latest squabble we had was when I asked you to check a dog’s collar.  All you had to do was say, “Yes, I will.”  I was not sure of how tight or loose it was before.  You insisted I figure it out.  You did not have to back me in a corner.

I do not exist in a vacuum.  If you don’t want me to raise my voice, stop putting we (???) in untenable positions.  And give me ways out.  I guarantee I will get upset less and will raise my voice less.  You do exert some control over me.  Just use it.

Tags: 'your mother's ghost hangs over your shoulder', "Triad", back me in a corner, compromise, confrontation, David Crosby, Jefferson Airplane, lessons learned in childhood, marriage, meet me half way, minor stuff, yell and raise my voice, your will against mine
Posted in balance, knowledge&learning, life, local, love, marriage, music, relationships | 1 Comment »

I looked into the darkening sky when I heard the honking.  I saw a flock of Canada Geese, which were flying V shaped single file.  I never saw so many at one time.  There must have been over 200 geese.  From the tip to one end could have been 100 yards.  I wanted to call my wife to show her the sight but it would be too late.  It was nearing dusk and I am sure they were seeking a body of water to call it a night.  I was amazed at seeing so many at one time.

Tags: 200 geese, bird-watching, birds, body of water, Canada geese, darkening sky, geese honking, migration, my wife, nearing dusk
Posted in beauty, birds, God, knowledge&learning, local, nature, seasons, time | No Comments »

Indigo bunting. First red winged blackbird. Flock of Canada Geese–over an hundred in a pond going to Dave’s and I was amazed I passed two other ponds shortly after there were no geese in any of them and one pond was pretty big.

Tags: bird-watching, birds, Canada geese, flock of geese, indigo bunting, pond, red-winged blackbird, spring
Posted in birds, knowledge&learning, local, seasons, time | No Comments »

I am thrilled the Norfolk Pine is thriving in our house.  We bought it two Christmases ago and put it outside when it warmed up.  It does not like temperatures below sixty.

It lost quite a few branches when we bought it.  It was our Christmas tree that winter.  I did not entertain too much hope that it would survive another winter inside.  We placed it in another spot where it would get more light.

I was so happy when I observed it was doing well in the new spot.  It no longer was losing leaves.  In fact, it was growing–always a good sign the plant liked the spot it was placed in.

Now we will put it out again when it warms up.  I am so happy it is still alive.  I never expected it to live once we had to bring it in again.  It did so poorly the first year it was in.  This was a little thing but isn’t life composed of many small pleasures?

Tags: Christmas, Christmas tree, life composed of many small pleasures, lost quite a few branches, no longer losing leaves, Norfolk pine, winter
Posted in beauty, death, God, knowledge&learning, local, nature, seasons, time | 1 Comment »

Death and renewal are connected:  the lesson my plants taught me.  I watch my house plants closely.  Right now I am watching my rubber plant.  So many leaves have dried up.

I keep giving it more water–to no avail.  It is in a warm room.  I noticed it has become taller.  It is stretching to capture the sunlight.  Although many leaves have dried up, it is not dead by any mean.

Plants adjust to their environment all the time.  Some leaves dry up.  Sometimes you may not water one enough so some leaves die so other can get enough water.  There is a close relationship between death and renewal.

That is one lesson I can learn watching my plants’ growth.  Those two are always connected.  Sometimes there can’t be renewal until there is death.  We can learn that lesson from observing our houseplants.

Sometimes that means you have to give up a goal and shift your attention elsewhere.  Or someone dear to you may die before you start to grow again.

The same pattern always follows.  In the words of Bob Dylan, and this is a paraphrase from one of his songs:  you have to be busy dying before you can live.

And no one said there would be no pain in the process.  There is just part of it.  From death, comes birth.  It is that simple.  A lesson observing plants (and nature) taught me.

Tags: "be busy dying before you can live", Bob Dylan, death and renewal, from death comes birth, house plants, leaves dried up, lesson from observing plants, my plants, nature, pain in the process, plants adjust to environment, rubber plant, sunlight, warm room, water
Posted in balance, death, God, knowledge&learning, life, nature, relationships, time, wisdom | No Comments »

I know spring must be coming I want to go fishing.  I am ready to get my fishing license.  I don’t like fishing in the cold but the weather has been gradually warming so I am ready.  Most days are in the forties and fifties occasionally hitting the sixties so I am thinking about it.  I will take out my tackle box and check all my equipment.  I know the first day that hits seventy and the sky is a deep blue I will want to be somewhere casting my baited line.  I am ready.

Tags: baited line, deep blue sky, fishing license, go fishing, spring, tackle box, weather
Posted in life, local, nature, seasons, sports, time | No Comments »

Thank God for deep depression!  That may sound crazy but bear me out.  We all have seen the television ads:  there is no doubt depression hurts–yourself and every one around you but there is no magic pill to dispel it although the right medication might help temporarily.  And there is nothing wrong with that.

Just realize deep depression is often a profound indicator that at your core of your being there is something radically wrong.  You are not who you are supposed to be.  You know it and it is exhibited as depression because you can’t tolerate that knowledge and your mind and body is numbed as a result.

I am not trying to make you feel guilty nor do I have the temerity to tell you what you ought to be doing.  There is no magic bullet to lift the depression.  And you can not do it alone.  You need someone at your side–a trusted adviser, a facilitator.

It does not matter who you use.  Your mate is usually not a good choice.  You need someone who is not invested in your life.  The depression can lift given time but it will happen gradually and will require work on your part.

A body at rest stays at rest and will take extra energy to get going.  A basic law of physics but it can be applied to someone who is looking for answers and is starting to be the person they were meant to be.

It is very difficult at first:  your mind and body is literally depressed and as I said it will take extra energy in the beginning to get going.  There are no easy answers.  You have to explore what is at your core–what you really want to do with your life.

The word for vocation (which is not necessarily your job) comes from the Latin root vocare which means to call.  Your vocation is literally your calling, your reason to be–your driving force.

No one can tell you what your vocation ought to be:  you have to find out yourself.  Someone can guide you in that search but nevertheless yours is unique.

Depression often occurs because you have thwarted your most sacred calling.  I am convinced if you start doing more and more each day what your inner most calling is telling you to do your depression will gradually lift.

There are no easy answers.  And the world is full of people who are quick to tell you what you ought to be doing.  You have to find out yourself.  I like the title of the book, “Do What You Love, The Money Will Follow”.

It is true the closer your life follows your inner most calling the more successful you will be with your life for you will be happier with your life.  I did not say necessarily rich but successful.  Life is not always fair.

Your deep depression is an indicator your life has strayed from what that little voice inside of you is telling you to do.  To that extent you ought to thank your depression.  It give you an opportunity to right your life.  You only have one life.

Tags: "Do What You Love The Money Will Follow", basic law of physics, body at rest stays at rest, can not do it alone, depression, extra energy to get going, facilitator, God, Latin root vocare, life not always fair, looking for answers, no easy answers, not who you are supposed to be, sacred calling, someone at your side, successful life, thank God, thank your depression, to call, trusted adviser, vocation, you only have one life, your calling
Posted in balance, death, God, knowledge&learning, life, mental health, time, wisdom, your job/mission/profession | No Comments »

Every person has a need for purposeful activity.  It does not matter if you have a paying job or not.  Even if you are retired, unemployed or even disabled, it does not matter.  Every day you have to find activities which gives you purpose, a reason to get up every morning.

Every person has things in their life that are important, that gives them meaning.  And if you don’t do them, there is a “hole” in your life.  All you have to do to find them is to look around the people in your life who rely on you.

And also there are people in your community who need you.  As long as you don’t isolate yourself you will be aware of others’ needs.  Maybe a simple thing you can do to find the tasks around you that are important and give you meaning is do the next thing.

And when you finish the next thing go on to the next thing on your list.  Every person has a need for purposeful activity.  And you will know when you are on the right track there will be a sense of fulfillment in your life.  We are wired to love and help others.  You just have to keep your eyes open.

Tags: do the next thing, don't isolate yourself, others' needs, purposeful activity, reason to get up every morning, sense of fulfillment, wired to love and help others, your life
Posted in God, health, knowledge&learning, life, love, mental health, relationships, time, wisdom | No Comments »

It is March 12 and I am looking for my first sighting of a red winged blackbird.  I pass a marsh near my house.  The farmer puts out bird houses for these blackbirds.  They come back every year.

Every time I pass this area I have my eyes open to spot these beautiful blackbirds.  I looked today but I could not see any.  I did not see any with their tell tale red wings but I will keep looking for them every time I go on this road.

I have always loved seeing these birds.  And this is one place I look for them.  I just wonder where they spent their winters and how far did they have to travel to get here.  I will keep looking for them.  I just think they are beautiful birds.

Tags: beautiful birds, bird migration, bird-watching, birds, blackbirds, farmer, March, marsh, red wings, red-winged blackbird
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When you are young, there is the illusion you will live forever.  Every one knows you will not leave this earth alive.  But we act as if this should never happen.  Death has become the last taboo.

When you become older and your body starts to break down, this illusion starts to break down.  Death becomes more of a reality.  Of course, this may occur when you are young too.

Of course, when you become older and the realization your time is running down (???) it may sharpen your search for meaning.  You might stop spending time on things that really do not matter in the long run.

And spend it on the things that really do matter.  Time is finite.  And death or old age brings this to a head and may force you to face issues maybe you have avoided.

Every decision we make means you can not do something else.  We have to choose.  We can not live without dying.  And the realization of death sharpens that.

Tags: become older, death, death the last taboo, God, illusion, search for meaning, time is finite, will not leave this earth alive
Posted in balance, death, God, health, knowledge&learning, life, love, seasons, time, wisdom, your job/mission/profession | No Comments »