Just fix it, a command from my wife!  My wife bought two expensive, brass door knobs she wanted put in the two doors in the dining room.  I looked at them carefully and then took apart one door knob.

There was a problem.  These brass door knobs had three holes for screws.  I thought I could simply attach the new door knob on the other half of the old ones but the old ones only had two holes for screws.

I went to Lowe’s (a large home appliance store) and spent ten minutes going up and down the aisle and looked at every set of door knobs:  they all had two holes except for the brass knobs (which were not cheap).

If I remember correctly, the brass knobs she bought were at least $40 each.  Theoretically I could drill two holes in the old door knobs.

There were some problems to that.  I am not Mr. fix-it and even if I was, I have not located any drills in this house.  There is probably at least two buried somewhere downstairs.

My wife did not care about any of this and did not want to hear any of my explanations.  She just wanted her two beautiful brass knobs put up no matter what.

She did not want to hear my excuses.  She just wanted what she wanted.  Whether or not it could be done.  Meanwhile I am tearing out my hair.

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