I had to remind myself of the scripture that says, ‘Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger.’ My wife kept complaining I was interrupting her all the time. And I thought of that passage from the bible and it gave me a weapon to help me to stop doing that. It was a bad habit I had and now I had a way to stop doing it. It would not be easy, though. I would have to work at it.

Being a father is not a right. It is a privilege. Sunday was Father’s Day. My son called me to wish me “Happy Father’s Day.” I did not hear from my daughter: she had hung up on me several weeks ago and cursed me out. I had written her a letter and she reacted violently to my words. Either we have a relationship based on truth or we have no relationship. It is her choice not to talk to me. I am not her friend but her Dad. And I will continue to speak the truth whether or not she likes it.

Lynelle and I celebrated Father’s Day by taking the Millersburg ferry across the Susquehanna River and eating at a great restaurant that was walking distance. Millersburg is a great quaint town. I took many pictures with my new digital camera of the river and of the town. I could not think of a better way to spend Father’s Day.

Tilla’s tail was thumping vigorously upon my arrival. I had been gone over three hours. My dog was really glad to see me. I quickly did the last few tasks of the evening and then went to bed. Tilla had to give me my final “good night”: he hopped on my bed briefly and then went to my office where he will spend the night on the Lazy Boy couch. There is nothing like a dog to make you feel welcome.

It is so easy to become unhappy.  It is so easy to center on what you don’t have.  I have to center on the multiple blessings I have been given:  food, shelter, a loving wife.  Humans have the capacity to want things they don’t have.  It only makes me unhappy.  For the rest of the Christmas season and New Year I will thank the Lord for the many blessings I have been given.  There is so much I have to thank the Lord for.  I will think about those things the rest of the year.

NYC Is Another World

Author: siggy

NYC is another world.  I was there briefly–forty-eight hours.  So many people.  All, seemingly, in a rush.  Surrounded by thousands of people.  I took the subway to get around.  It is a world I am not in too often any more.  I was glad to get back home surrounded by trees and quiet.  My dogs gave me a terrific greeting jumping all over me when I entered my house.  I left my wife for my trip.  It is difficult for us to go away with our menagerie–all four dogs and seven cats.  Maybe, once a year my wife and I go away usually to the NJ shore.  I was glad to get home.  To peace and quiet although I was glad to see part of my family in New York if only briefly.  NY city is just another world.

Things really do not make you happy.  They really don’t.  The only thing that does is love.  The people who are in your life whom you love.  I just came back from NYC where I met my sister and her husband briefly.  We went to an outstanding art museum (and NY is full of them).  First we had lunch or should I say brunch in an outstanding bagel shop.  I had something that is almost impossible to get in Pa–a good salt bagel.  I had come a long distance on Amtrak for this rendezvous to spend some time with my family or at least part of my family.  Then we walked around and viewed art in a nearby museum.  I was amazed how quickly I became tired.  After an hour and an half we sat and ate at the restaurant in the museum.  It was more to rest than to eat.  I was glad to see my sister and her husband.  They were in from California.  My family this year threw me a birthday party.  I can’t remember the last one thrown by my family.  It was my sister’s idea.  I did see the rest of my family that day at least my other sister and her husband.  I no longer remember whether my nephew was there and his wife.  I think they were.  It was a perfect day.  I will not forget it for awhile.  I did see my nephew (and his wife) on this trip to NY.  The train ride was fun.

Tilla did his best to cheer me up.  Twice he greeted me by jumping on my bed and licking my face.  And later he jumped up on our love sofa extending himself making it plain he was glad to see me.  I wonder whether he sensed I was down.  And was trying his best to cheer me up.  I don’t know but my depression briefly disappeared in those moments.  He gets an “E” for effort.

Tilla jumped enthusiastically on my bed to greet me.  He wanted a hug and was now on eye level.  His body shook all over in anticipation of my greeting.  Wouldn’t it be nice if all your friends made it that plain how glad they were to see you.  There is nothing like a dog for unconditional love.  In fact, some people prefer dogs to humans:  they don’t disguise their feelings.

My wife cares about every living thing even the lowly earthworm.  She gave me a hard time about buying worms to use for fishing.  I did buy a dozen.  Then she insisted I let loose the worms that were left after my fishing trip.  That is one thing I love about her:  her concern for every living thing.

But Now I Believe

Author: siggy

The two worse words in the English language are “I can’t”.

Nothing more than those two words can destroy a relationship.

Nothing more than those two words can destroy one’s potential.

And there is nothing worse than not trying.

“I can’t.”  I can’t tell you how many times I flung those words at my wife.  She flung them back at me.  My two children, 4 and 5, are learning the same.  I am now trying to undo the damage.  For six years my wife has refused to listen to those two words.  When I uttered them in her presence she would scream at me, “No!  No!  Anything is possible.  Please don’t teach our two children to say those words and believe just because something is difficult that is enough reason not to try.”  For six years she has been hammering at me.  For years those around me had exclaimed, “There is absolutely nothing you can’t do.”  I would just shrug my shoulders and continue my negative ways.  I will turn 45 soon.  For the first time in my life I believe I am capable.  My wife has finally won.  “I can’t” has been eliminated from my vocabulary and replaced with the attitude, “I can.”  Every successful man has a woman behind him.  I know that perfectly.  And I have fought my wife every step of the way.  But now I believe.

More Than Anything Else

Author: siggy

I guess more than anything else from my written piece I want to know:  did my love come through?  I would rather my piece be poorly written but have my love come through.  If my writing is grammatically correct but says nothing it has failed.  Ideally it would be both.  I also want to know:  did you feel what I felt?  Did you have an inkling?  Were you there?  Did you want to be there?  Did my humanity come through?  Those are questions I am always interested in.  If the answer is “yes”, it is relatively simple to go back and clean up the language.  All that is simple when the “guts” of the piece are there.  If they are not, no fiddling with it will matter.  I am not always aware of the response.  The answers to those questions determine the success of my written piece.

We are all flawed and it is so easy to criticize someone for their flaws.  It is so easy to forget that.  Sometimes the things we criticize someone for are the very things we can’t tolerate in our self.  And we come down hard on those who demonstrate their imperfections.  If we can remember we are all flawed and sinners, which is just another way of saying the same thing; then, we can be more compassionate of others.  Everyone makes mistakes.