One author stated that every time you criticize a person openly (or even in your self talk) you lessen your ability to love that person. Every time I read that or even think about that statement I balk.

We live in a society where criticism is openly stated. The only questions is how kindly it was done. Very rarely is praise openly given. More likely governments, leaders are openly torn apart.

Every move by our president, our leaders is examined and commented upon repeatedly often negatively. We have supposedly a free press yet at what expense?

Other governments, their population, are not allowed to express any comments even remotely critical of their leaders, government.

If you were to overhear the conversations of parents directed at their kids you would be flabbergasted how critical and demeaning their comments often are.

I far too often criticize my mate and do not listen properly. Listening is a form of love. It is all too easy to go on a tear on your mate.

So when I read those words that to criticize another lessens our ability to love that person I balked. I know I mentioned this but I will again: Phil Jackson (who has won nine NBA championships) did not turn around his career until he realized for every negative comment he made toward his players he had to make nine. (???)

Encouragement in our society does not occur often enough. There are two ways to look at it: one person can accent the positive things a person does or simply correct the mistakes another commits. It is far easier to tear down a person than build up that person.

I know how far I have to go before I properly love my wife (and my kids). Our society has a long way to go including me. Proper Encouragement (another form of love) can potentially revolutionize this world so think really hard before you criticize some one around you. I know I have to retool my thinking. Love is everything.

All I ever did was rub his belly every time he turned over and wanted it.  Atilla The Hun (or Tilla for short), who I call one of my puppies although he is going on two, is now my friend for life.

I realize humans do not want their bellies rubbed but I will tell you for certain each of us wants and needs positive strokes every day from our loved ones.  I do.  Maybe I can’t speak for others.

I tell you one thing humans are notorious for their lack of strokes (or should I call it encouragement).  I try to refrain from criticism.  We are so quick to speak up when someone does us wrong or fails us in some way.

There are many dying from lack of strokes, encouragement, affection from others.  We are so stingy with it.  We all like our “bellies rubbed” every day every time we want it.  Think of “Tilla”.  And the many friends you potentially can make if you take the time to indicate to others how much you truly like (and love them).

Maybe you do not want your belly rubbed but a kind word consistently given to another goes a long way.  So refrain as much as you can from telling another how much they “failed” you.  It is often small things.  It is the small details in life.

Phil Jackson, the great basketball coach who has won nine NBA titles, did not turn around his career until he realized for every criticism he dished out he had to give nine positive strokes to his players.  So many times we have that ratio reversed so think about that.  And how many people you can win over if you use criticism sparingly and learn to find positive things to say about the people in your life consistently.

bballMy twenty year old daughter observed, “You are not too old for you can still play basketball.”  Basketball is a game I have loved all my life.  There still is something esthetically pleasing to me about being able to shoot a basketball through the hoop.  If I can do it without touching the rim, it is even better.

I am sixty-one and not foolhardy enough to play a running game with the youth.  I am afraid to play with the abandon I used to in my youth.  I still find my daughter’s observation interesting.

I have loved basketball as far back as I can remember.  I was only a mediocre player but still loved playing.  I made up for my lack of talent with tenaciousness on the court.  I was not afraid of playing against anyone, any size.  Those days are over but I still enjoy shooting basketballs and see no reason to stop.

I can still use the sport to get back my wind and do that by shooting from different corners of the court and increasing the tempo gradually.  All I need is a basketball and some warmer weather.  I had forgotten how much I still love the game.  My daughter reminded me of that.  God bless her for that.

WELCOME! I hope you will enjoy reading my blurbs.

In addition to the Blogs, I hope to encourage and inform poets and writers at Siggy’s Cafe For Writers & Poets, www.siggyscafe.com.  Here you will find many pages of articles, poems, suggested reading, and more, plus a special section devoted to my love of music.  Siggy