Siggy's Blurbs: Siggy's Edge of Country …

Pain enables us to grow.  I am what I am not despite my bipolar disorder but because of it.  I certainly now have more empathy for others who suffer, whatever the reason.  It does not matter really why.  Yes, I have been to hell and back but so have many others.  What if nothing ever went wrong in your life?!  You would just experience boredom.  No one experiences this utopia.  Why should you feel for anyone else pain?  It is your own pain and suffering that produces empathy for others.

Tags: balance, bipolar disorder, depression, empathy for others, God, mental health, pain and growth, pain and suffering, relationships, suffer
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Life is always a question of balance.  First it gets tipped one way.  Then the other direction.  You go back and forth.  The same thing happens internally in your body.  The term is homeostasis.  One example is your blood sugar.  The level in the blood stream goes up and down.  When it reaches a certain low point your appetite is activated.  You eat and your blood sugar goes up.  How quickly depends on what you eat for different types of food are metabolized at different rates.

A person has to have quiet moments to analyze the direction he/she is going in their life.  There is a reason one of the commandments is to observe the Sabbath.  God does not need to rest.  Humans do.  One day a week they need to get off their treadmill and rest and reevaluate their life.  Does the person have to do something different in their life–go  in another direction.  You can go faster and faster but get no where.  Life is always a question of balance.

Tags: appetite, balance, blood sugar, God, homeostasis, life, metabolism, observe the Sabbath, question of balance, quiet moments, ten commandments
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It does not matter I don’t make money I still have to do things that matter to me.  Every person has a need for purposeful activity.  The worst situation is when you prostitute yourself–do a job solely for the money.  If your whole heart and soul is not in it, you will burn out.

You can get trapped by money.  You want to go in a different direction and it will initially mean less money but you are used to having a certain life style and you can’t stand your job any more.  Your heart and soul is no longer in it.  You just dream for the weekend when you are off from your job.

It is hard.  You have to make a living and support your family.  The most fortunate people are the ones who can’t wait to get back to work.  Thoreau in “Walden” says, ‘Make living thy sport’.  It is easier said than done.

Sometimes some accept their whole heart and soul will not be on the job.  It is a a shame it is not on the job and find you have to find satisfaction elsewhere.  It is always a balancing act.

Tags: "Make living thy sport", balance, life style, make a living, make money, purposeful activity, support your family, Thoreau, trapped by money, Walden, weekend, your job
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Hoarding is wrong. Your “number” may come up tomorrow so what good did it do you. There is nothing wrong in properly using your resources and planning for the future. Up to a point.

There is always a balance. At what point is too much too much? I collect LP’s. I have too many of them. And the really good music, unfortunately, gets buried. And when you have too much you can’t give each individual new record the proper attention.

Collecting too much of anything at some level sometimes indicates we do not trust God to provide for our needs–like storing too much food in our pantries.

Sometimes all we can see, do is our very next step. Trusting our Lord is trusting He will provide for us. Yes, we try to conserve our resources but hoarding is not necessary: He will always provide us with food and shelter.

Tags: balance, collecting, food and shelter, God, He will provide for us, hoarding, LP's, music, record albums, trust God, trusting our Lord
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Clothes are just like books.  If you have too many, you can’t find your favorite ones too easily for they are buried.  For example, I would rather have an hundred favorite books than another additional nine hundred that hide the other hundred.  In fact I did that with my office:  it has my favorite books in it.  Just a thought.

Tags: balance, books, clothes, clutter, favorite books, office, too many books, too many clothes
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Don’t linger too long in your tomorrows.  If you fixate on your future, your present will escape you.  You will miss everything for your head will be in the future.

The beauty and wonder around you will pass you by.  It is there every day.  You can not see it if your head either lingers too long in the past or all you can do is imagine your future.  Life will pass you by.  The present will become your past too quickly.

Somehow there needs to be a balance:  you have to have some idea how your past impacts you (so you don’t continually repeat it) and have some expectation where you might be heading and at the same time enjoy what is happening around you.

It is always a balancing act.  Don’t be like the ostrich with its head in the sand always–either stuck in the past or in your future.

Learn to be aware of your life unfolding with (???) and without you.  It is there.  You just have to open your eyes and see what is unraveling right in front of you–your life today.  So don’t get stuck.

Tags: balance, be aware, beauty, don't repeat the past, enjoy today, fixate on your future, head in the sand, life will pass you by, linger in the past, linger in tomorrow, open your eyes, ostrich, stuck in the past, where you are heading, wonder, your life unfolding, your past, your present
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If you want to truly like yourself, it always starts off with self-respect.  And you can not do that if you consistently do not enjoy yourself.  When in your own heart you do not do the things that you know you ought to do you lose self respect.

I have been there.  I know what that is like.  I have not always liked me.  Not that you can all the time.  If you want others to like you, first you have to like yourself.

And that starts by obeying that tiny voice only you can hear.  When you do the things that have to be done, then you gain greater respect of yourself.

At the same time we are creatures of pleasure.  We have to find joy in our lives, we have to every day do things that give us pleasure.  I can not tell you what they are but you know.

Life is one of balance.  Yes, each of us has obligations to our loved ones.  And our life can not be just that although you always have to fulfill the most important obligations in your life.

But still you have to find pleasure in what you do and that means doing at least a few things every day you enjoy.

All this produces self respect.  And like.  Violate your deepest self consistently and you will dislike yourself.  Respect who you are and you are more apt to like yourself and in turn others will like you more.  It always starts with you.

Tags: balance, do things you enjoy, find joy in our lives, it always starts with you, joy, like yourself, obeying your tiny voice, obligations, pleasure, self-respect
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You should cleave to your mate, which means not just sexually but every which way.  There could be too much togetherness.  There always has to be some space between both of you.  This separateness expands and contracts.  That is known as communication.

Each partner needs a sense of perspective about themselves and the other.  An outside friend always helps.  Someone you feel safe with and at the same time does not threaten your relationship.  Particularly in relationships you have with the opposite sex you have to be very careful.  Engage in communication under very safe conditions that do not unnecessarily threaten your partner.

And your situation becomes very difficult when every relationship threatens your partner.  It is a balancing act.  You always need to maintain your integrity.  Loyalty to the higher standard (truth, God, and if you want to call it the higher power) is always essential.

You want to remain loyal to your mate but at the same time it is important to keep your sense of perspective.  The only way that can be done is by having outside friends.  Those relationships also prevent you from becoming stale to your partner.  It is a paradox:  you must cleave to your mate but at the same time keep some distance (or proper perspective about each other).  Both partners are enriched by outside friends.

And each time your contact ends with your friend you have something more to share with your partner–maybe a slightly different take on something.  It is, always, as I said a balancing act.  You are always enriched by maintaining your perspective about each other.  The last thing you want to do is have your relationship to become inbred (and stale).  Then your view of each other becomes magnified (instead of realistic).

Tags: against the whole world, balance, cleave to your mate, communication, friends, God, integrity, loyalty, marriage, perspective, relationships, sense of perspective, space between both of you, too much togetherness, truth
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Sometimes life is fair.  Sometimes it isn’t.  And sometimes it never is.  I am reminded of the famous anecdote of Eisenhower whose mother told him what you have to do is deal with the hand you are dealt with.  The fact life is not fair.  Some people appear to have it very easy.  They have no money worries.  Their life seems to flow.  And there is no doubt money (the lack of) can cause quite a bit of worry.

The fact is we are all unequally gifted.  Some people are very talented:  can do almost anything and be successful.  Some people have more.  Some people have less.  Envy can eat at you.  There is a good reason “Thou shall not covet” is one of the ten commandments.

But when you rail at the higher powers for being so unfair with your worldly station, it only leads to problems and dissatisfaction.  Pray to God with thanksgiving.  There is a reason for that advice in the Bible.

Otherwise we are this whining entity wanting this and that from above.  I think of God being above and millions maybe billions of strings are pulling at him all wanting it a different way.  Realizing everything is by grace and thanking God for all your blessings corrects your dissatisfaction with your life.

Insisting on God (or a higher power) being fair only can frustrate you.  Because life is NOT FAIR.  The serenity prayer is worth repeating and these are not the exact words:  what is in your control change, accept what isn’t and have the wisdom to know the difference.  These are not the exact words but it gets the point across.  Grab the control in your life you can, realize what you have no control of.  And accept the results.  That is the beginning of wisdom.

Tags: accept the results, balance, Bible, blessings, deal the hand you are dealt, Eisenhower, envy, everything-is-by-grace, fairness, gifts, God, knowledge, learning, life is not fair, money, pray to God, relationships, serenity prayer, take control in your life of what you can, talent, ten commandments, thanking God, thanksgiving, thou shall not covet, wisdom
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It is so hard to ignore the expectations we have of our friends.  We expect sometimes too much and are disappointed when they don’t meet our expectations.  It is far more easier not to have any expectations of others and rejoice when they exceed them and also feel grateful because if the truth be known each person does what he/she can, when the person can, in their own timing.  If you were to look at your own life, you would see this happening, too.  You have your own timing and give the way you can and give what you can.  You need to give the same right to others.  If you have no expectations, everything someone does for you is totally by grace.  All you really can do is tell another of your needs, desires.  It is up to them how, if and when he/she responds.  Everything is by grace.  And the sooner you understand all that, the easier it is to accept others.  Each person gives what he/she can.

Tags: balance, everything-is-by-grace, expect sometimes too much, expectations, friends, give what we can, giving, God, relationships, time
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Life is never fair.  Nor is giving.  The pendulum swings in a marriage, sometimes, back and forth.  One person gives more of his/herself and then the other.  A vow was made during the marriage ceremonies:  the words “for better or worse” are there for a reason:  bad times will come to a marriage.  There will be illness, lost jobs, money problems and often conflict, which will need to be resolved.  Sometimes an illness will result in one partner taking care of the other, sometimes permanently (the marriage vow “till death do us part” is there for a reason).  The giving then may become totally unbalanced.  Insisting the giving be always 50/50 puts a strain on the marriage and is really unrealistic.  Really all a partner can do is love the other, not being concerned how equal the give and take is.  Insisting or complaining you are giving more consistently always puts a strain on the marriage.  We are commanded in our vows to love the other in sickness or health (or in any, every situation) (my words).  Each partner only gives what he/she can.  Insisting marriage be always 50/50 is always wrong.

Tags: "till death do us part", balance, each partner gives what he/she can, for better or worse, giving, giving may be unbalanced, God, illness, life is not fair, love, love each other, marriage, one person gives more, relationships, time, wedding vows
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I really can’t answer that.  Only you.  Do you listen to the tiny voice only you can hear?  This can be very difficult in a society that values conformity.  There are so many pressures you face–inward and outside.  Your conscience can be a dictator (or free you).  There are no easy answers.  To love another means to be able to reach out to others and forget yourself.  First, though you have to like and love yourself.  Respect starts with you.  If you do not respect yourself how can you possibly respect others?  Listening to a tune of a different drummer (words coined by Thoreau) means having the courage to follow the path only you truly can follow.  There are no lack of people to tell you how to lead your life and somehow you need to respect the lives of those closest to you.  That is truly a balancing act.  Maybe now you can answer that question a little better:  Do you walk to a tune of a different drummer?  Only you know to what degree that might be true.

Tags: balance, different drummer, follow your own path, God, like and love yourself, reach out to others, relationships, respect starts with you, society values conformity, Thoreau, tiny voice only you can hear, tune of a different drummer
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