A person has to have quiet moments to analyze the direction he/she is going in their life.  There is a reason one of the commandments is to observe the Sabbath.  God does not need to rest.  Humans do.  One day a week they need to get off their treadmill and rest and reevaluate their life.  Does the person have to do something different in their life–go  in another direction.  You can go faster and faster but get no where.  Life is always a question of balance.

You can get trapped by money.  You want to go in a different direction and it will initially mean less money but you are used to having a certain life style and you can’t stand your job any more.  Your heart and soul is no longer in it.  You just dream for the weekend when you are off from your job.

It is hard.  You have to make a living and support your family.  The most fortunate people are the ones who can’t wait to get back to work.  Thoreau in “Walden” says, ‘Make living thy sport’.  It is easier said than done.

Sometimes some accept their whole heart and soul will not be on the job.  It is a a shame it is not on the job and find you have to find satisfaction elsewhere.  It is always a balancing act.

She balances the checkbook to the penny.  I never liked doing that so I certainly do not mind.  I stopped even writing in it for I would make small errors in it posting figures and when we got our monthly statement it would take her hours to find the errors.

There are some things I do for she simply won’t do them.  I empty and put new litter in the cat litter boxes.  I do the shopping.  I am not sure why but every time she goes with me we spend too much money.  Besides, she does not like to shop.

I do not like to clean.  She does just about all of it.  I do vacuum occasionally.  I could go on and on.  A couple divides the tasks as much as possible along the lines of what you want to do.

Of course, there are always tasks neither like doing and one person just decides to do them.

It was a small thing but marriage is composed of many small acts.  Things you work out between you.  And every marriage is different.  It was important to her that I not place my dirty socks inside out on the dryer so I did it.  Little things matter.

The beauty and wonder around you will pass you by.  It is there every day.  You can not see it if your head either lingers too long in the past or all you can do is imagine your future.  Life will pass you by.  The present will become your past too quickly.

Somehow there needs to be a balance:  you have to have some idea how your past impacts you (so you don’t continually repeat it) and have some expectation where you might be heading and at the same time enjoy what is happening around you.

It is always a balancing act.  Don’t be like the ostrich with its head in the sand always–either stuck in the past or in your future.

Learn to be aware of your life unfolding with and without you.  It is there.  You just have to open your eyes and see what is unravelling right in front of you–your life today.  So don’t get stuck.

I have been there.  I know what that is like.  I have not always liked me.  Not that you can all the time.  If you want others to like you, first you have to like yourself.

And that starts by obeying that tiny voice only you can hear.  When you do the things that have to be done, then you gain greater respect of yourself.

At the same time we are creatures of pleasure.  We have to find joy in our lives, we have to every day do things that give us pleasure.  I can not tell you what they are but you know.

Life is one of balance.  Yes, each of us has obligations to our loved ones.  And our life can not be just that although you always have to fulfill the most important obligations in your life.

But still you have to find pleasure in what you do and that means doing at least a few things every day you enjoy.

All this produces self respect.  And like.  Violate your deepest self consistently and you will dislike yourself.  Respect who you are and you are more apt to like yourself and in turn others will like you more.  It always starts with you.

Each partner needs a sense of perspective about themselves and the other.  An outside friend always helps.  Someone you feel safe with and at the same time does not threaten your relationship.  Particularly in relationships you have with the opposite sex you have to be very careful.  Engage in communication under very safe conditions that do not unnecessarily  threaten your partner.

And your situation becomes very difficult when every relationship threatens your partner.  It is a balancing act.  You always need to maintain your integrity.  Loyalty to the higher standard (truth, God, and if you want to call it the higher power) is always essential.

You want to remain loyal to your mate but at the same time it is important to keep your sense of perspective.  The only way that can be done is by having outside friends.  Those relationships also prevent you from becoming stale to your partner.  It is a paradox:  you must cleave to your mate but at the same time keep some distance (or proper perspective about each other).  Both partners are enriched by outside friends.

And each time your contact ends with your friend you have something more to share with your partner–maybe a slightly different take on something.  It is, always, as I said a balancing act.  You are aways enriched by maintaining your perspective about each other.  The last thing you want to do is have your relationship to become inbred (and stale).  Then your view of each other becomes magnified (instead of realistic).

The fact is we are all unequally gifted.  Some people are very talented:  can do almost anything and be successful.  Some people have more.  Some people have less.  Envy can eat at you.  There is a good reason “Thou shall not covet” is one of the ten commandments.

But when you rail at the higher powers for being so unfair with your worldly station, it only leads to problems and dissatisfaction.  Pray to God with thanksgiving.  There is a reason for that advice in the bible.

Otherwise we are this whining entity wanting this and that from above.  I think of God being above and millions maybe billions of strings are pulling at him all wanting it a different way.  Realizing everything is by grace and thanking God for all your blessings corrects your dissatisfaction with your life.

Insisting on God (or a higher power) being fair only can frustrate you.  Because life is NOT FAIR.  The serentity prayer is worth repeating and these are not the exact words:  what is in your control change, accept what isn’t and have the wisdom to know the difference.  These are not the exact words but it gets the point across.  Grab the control in your life you can, realize what you have no control of.  And accept the results.  That is the beginning of wisdom.

Nothing happens in a vacuum including depression.  There is an intricate relationship between our body and our mind.  My depression is telling me something is wrong, something needs correcting.  I need to take better care of myself.  I have to learn to listen to my body and mind.  Sometimes depression is just a physical thing.  Fatigue is often a factor.  Everyone has limits.  I have to observe mine.

Knowing your dusk has come and you really have no idea how many dawns will still appear in your life and all you can do is treasure each moment.  Wouldn’t life be boring without mystery and wonder?  And do you have any doubt man was created just below the stature of angels?  And also the universe could not have created by chance.  All that is mystery (and wonder).  So ponder some of those things.

Money can provide the illusion this is not so.  It is truly an illusion.  All you have to do is think of all the services provided for you.  Someone keeps the roads paved.  Someone is raising the crops that provide the food you buy in supermarkets.  The Army and the police assure your safety.  There are scientists,  engineers working on solutions to improve your life further.  There are hospitals, doctors, teachers, the list is endless of people out there providing for you and your children.  Are you beginning to get the point?  We are dependent on one another.

In fact the bad ecoconomic state we are in even more so forces us to rely on each other.  That is really a good thing.  One does not have to do it alone and can relax.  Still you have to do your part.  Nevertheless,  we are interdependent with one another.  We can rely on each other.  That is really  the way the world is designed.  In the words of John Donne,  ‘No man is an island.’  If we can hold on to that idea, the world becomes a much smaller place and we can relax further.  No one has to do it alone.  We are in this world together.  It is okay to ask for help when you need it and certainly it is okay to reach out to the needs of people around you.  All that can be very comforting.

Life is always a balancing act.  Reading is only one part of my life.  I need time to absorb and reflect on the significance of what I read and for that matter I need time to simply reflect periodically where I am going or have been.  That takes time and often quiet.  Reading is only one thing I do and is punctuated by empty spaces.  I never feel guilty I have not read enough or thoroughly enough.  It is all relative.  One has to live his life.  Ideas are only one thing.  Then one has to put into practice what he/she learns.  That is only possible if reflection takes place.  And that, of course, takes time.