We have too many things in our house.  And that has me depressed.  I want greater order in our house.  I don’t know how to get there.

There are too many books, too much music particularly LP’s, too many knickknacks, electronic, computer and stereo equipment.  Some of it is broken down and other equipment is obsolete.

I just want to throw away some stuff, give it away, whatever.  Some of it is not mine.  It belongs to my wife.  I don’t know how to straighten up our house.  I am surrounded by things.

I just want to throw up my hands.  I don’t know where to start.  It is driving me crazy.  The disorder that is.  I want to say “abracadabra” and wake up and most of the stuff is gone.  I just don’t know what to do.

Again The Same Fight

Author: siggy

We have the same fight over and over:  it is about things.  I want less to enter the house.  She is, again, active on “Free Cycle”, a web site where people give things away.  The theory is for less to end up in land fills.

Yesterday, she came home with a scanner and some other things we did not need.  It does me no good to tell her I do not want that item.  She gets seduced by things.  She even admits that.

I have been after her to gather documentation for her deceased husband’s pension. (She is the beneficiary.)  The documents she needs are probably in our “junk room.”

I could not believe it among some books piled in one corner of the house falls out her first marriage certificate–over thirty years old the document was.  It was in tatters to give you some idea of the disorder in this house.

A friend months ago came over and made some order out of our “junk” room.  Unfortunately after that she kept putting more stuff in there.

Actually it was me. She kept getting more things and I did not want to “junk” up the living room.  I had to put the stuff somewhere.

And it is true as she said the junk room is no longer neat and it is hard again to walk in that room.  There is so much stuff in there.  She does not want to search for her documents until the room is neater and she could walk around in it.

All this despite the fact the new stuff (since the room was straightened out) was obtained by her.  There is old computers (even ones that run on DOS), extra printers, broken down stereo equipment, books etc.

And it is true I am not as neat as her but she is the pack rat and stuff keeps entering our house whether or not we need them and all I want to do is tear out my hair.  And we periodically keep having these fights.  About things.

I don’t know how to extricate myself from my things.  I feel trapped by them.  I have too many LPs, books in particular.  That is only a short list.

Being married makes it a little harder.  Some of the things are hers or ours.  There are still many books and cassettes in boxes as well.  I just want order and don’t know how to get there.

My house is budging (??bulging??) at its seams.  I tell my wife someone is going to have the mammoth job of going through our stuff when we are gone but that does not make any difference to her.

We had made three trips to Austin to finish the job of going through her Mom’s stuff.  Too much of it is still in boxes in the basement.  It costs us a small fortune to ship that stuff.

I just don’t know how to downsize.  We have a junk room upstairs.  It could be a guest room if it was ever cleared.  All this is driving me crazy.

I just want to throw away, give away stuff.  I want more order in this house.  Pray for me.  I don’t know what else to do.

Some people get educated despite themselves.  Education is not an end point but a process.  The literal translation of the word education means to lead toward.  It is not a degree and is on going.

And it is true:  some people do get educated despite themselves but most of the time it is a journey.  There is really no point you have arrived which is not to say a piece of parchment is not an accomplishment.  It is.  But don’t stop there.

I could never understand people who get degrees and stop reading.  And an education is not simply books.  It is the process of learning during your life.  It never stops.

Some of the wisest people have no degrees.  It is all about learning.  And learning is not always in books.  We need carpenters and mechanics and plumbers.  In fact, there is a shortage of these people.

Whatever you do, do it with your whole heart.  In Thoreau’s words, ‘Let living be thy sport (from Walden).’

Clothes are just like books.  If you have too many, you can’t find your favorite ones too easily for they are buried.  For example, I would rather have an hundred favorite books than another additional nine hundred that hide the other hundred.  In fact I did that with my office:  it has my favorite books in it.  Just a thought.

I don’t care how good an iPad is it won’t replace a book or library.  I know the new device can rapidly turn pages in a book but still it is not the same.

There is nothing like having a library and quickly glancing at your shelves, pulling out just the book you want and opening it up to any page.

I like physically handling my books, touching them.  I am not dependent on any batteries.  I am not so quick to run out and get this latest technological gadget from Apple.

The brain can not be replaced by this latest development.  The brain has the ability to review thousands of paragraphs you have read and know what book a passage came from and then find it.

There is nothing like an old book store to browse in.  None of these things can be replaced by the iPad.  By now, you get the idea I am skeptical of the value of this item.

I don’t want to pore over an instruction manual just to figure out how pick up a book and scan it.  Or even turn it on.  It is just too hard.  Call me old fashioned.

I spend an inordinate amount of time straightening up my house.  It seems I mess it up, then I reach a point I can no longer tolerate my own disorder so I have to do something about it and then this cycle repeats itself.  And over and over.

I remember the few times my family went on vacation without me (I raised a boy and girl) things actually did not move.  They stayed in the same spot.

But I have to live with my own messes.  So does my wife.  I try to logically place items I put away.  Currently we are running out of space for books.  And we still buy more.  And I have run out of space for newly recorded cassettes.

We have empty cassette racks but we have to agree where to place them.  And that has not occurred yet.  It would take me another lifetime to play all the cassettes I have not heard.  Don’t ask me where we got them that is another story.

All this drives me crazy (and my wife).  Sometimes parts of my house actually looks neat and organized.  Until next time.

I do not know why it is so hard to let go of things.  I am no different.  There is always another book or CD.  I can never have enough.  Let us talk about books only.

We have too many in this house.  The bookcases are bursting from the seams.  There are also boxes of books all over the house.  And it is difficult for us to give away any one.

I want to give some away but a lot are not mine so I can’t make a decision unilaterally to part with those.  I have reasoned with my other stating when you have too many unfortunately the superb books all too easily get lost or buried.  The argument was futile.

Nothing has changed.  I am also part of the problem:  I keep bringing new ones in the house.  I must have given my wife this year an half a dozen books for Christmas gifts.  And my wife also gave me books for gifts.

I am at wits end.  Some book shelves are doubled up.  As many as I have if I can not find a particular book I go a little crazy although I am usually successful in finding the book although I might take me awhile.

A running joke is Bob Dylan’s autobiography.  I keep misplacing that book although I have looked high and low for it.  He is just plain elusive.  I might have to buy another copy.

I read in all positions–standing up lying down even walking.  The bathroom must have almost two dozen books on the shelves there.  I can’t miss any opportunity to read.

Someone is going to have a real job deciding what to do with our book collection.  We can’t take them with us when we go.

(1)  My wife whose support makes it all worthwhile

(2)  The extension of our fence so now all four dogs can run wild within it and we don’t have to worry about them getting out

(3)  The seventh Christmas we are spending together

(4)  The purchase of a “new” used vehicle

(5)  another year

(6)  my illness if you can call it that has given me a keener sense of the time bestowed to me

(7)  my two sisters who are always there when I need them

(8)  The four books Marilyn sent to me

(9)  all my friends

(10)  The safety of my trip to Boston during a difficult time:  I know angels were watching me during my ride to Boston and back.

(11)  I finally made it to “Walden Pond”

(12)  All my animals particularly my four dogs who never ask for anything and just love you unconditionally

(13)  For providing for all our needs

(14)  All the people who take care of us:  from Bob our mechanic to our dentist and all our doctors.  They just serve us.

(15)  My wife, the editor, lover and friend

(16)  John, you know who you are

(17)  The heat in our house

(18)  My web site and “Siggy’s Blurbs”

(19)  Sara’s support, you know who you are, also

(20)  My two, Emma and Saul

(21)  for everything I have forgotten to be grateful for

(22)  Pastor Pete and his flock

(23)  only “You” who without I can not do any thing

I do not have to own every good thing that comes my way.  With some things it is very difficult:  I collect music and books.  There is always another interesting book and another new piece of music I desire.

The trick is to be happy with what you have and occasionally when something comes your way, be happy.  One reason coveting is wrong there is no end to it and being perennially dissatisfied is one result.

There is a certain freedom to saying “No!” to good things and there is even another result:  more and more you let the universe surprise you when something good falls in your lap.

When you make a conscious effort to be satisfied with your possessions, you allow serendipity and gratitude to enter your life.  And peace and contentment may also follow.

When death is knocking at your door, money fades in importance.  It is so easy to delude ourselves:  that your time on this earth is forever.  But when the realization comes it is running out (often due to illness or old age) your money (and possessions) are no longer that important.

All of a sudden other things come to the forefront:  your relationship with loved ones, maybe your legacy also.  Your possessions which maybe you spent a lifetime accumulating do not matter that much.

Bill Gates, the founder of Microsoft and the richest person in the whole world, realized that; when he founded with his wife what is today’s largest private foundation pouring in it more and more of his energy and resources (billions of dollars) in that endeavor.

In my case, I can not take my journals, books and music I spent a lifetime collecting with me when I go.  I have to figure out what is truly important in my life.  I do not want to waste time.

Often when someone faces his/her deathbed and realizes the way they spent their time really does not matter.  Your impending death shifts your priorities and also forces you to reexamine your value system.

Too many people die alone because they did not invest time in others.  Did not Jesus say, “When you lose your life, you find it”.  I think that is a paraphrase.

When you are in the dusk of your life, you find out the most valuable commodity you possess is time.  All the money in the world can not buy you one more minute on earth.

That realization forces you to examine your life carefully.  It is never too late to make a change although it is easy to regret the time you lost in fruitless endeavors.  You can never turn back the clock but there is always today.

For a long time there were two forms of education I was undergoing:  one, my formal education and the other, the education I was receiving on my own.

All during my schooling I continued to read what I wanted to, whatever came across my path, whatever interested me.  As far back as I can remember I had a library card to the local library and made many trips there.  At home we always had plenty of reading material–magazines and books everywhere.

I did do my school work and received good grades but I had no illusion:  my independent reading was far more important and really my true education.

Yes, it is true some people get educated despite themselves but I always found the time to read whatever came across me and whatever interested me.  I felt most of the time I just went through the motions in most subjects in school.

There were some subjects that interested me particularly in school like Latin and mathematics and biology.  And maybe, I put forth extra effort there.

If the truth be known I was far more interested in participating in gym and in high school playing for the tennis team.  In fact, I was excited that in high school we had gym every day.

I felt these sports instilled an attitude to never give up until the game is over, which was no small lesson to learn which stood me well later in life.

I no longer go to school but I still read widely and for pleasure.  The literal translation of the word “education” comes from the Latin “educare” which means to lead.  Education means “to lead toward”.  It is a process, not an end point, not a degree.  It is an unending journey.  And I am still on it.