Siggy's Blurbs: Siggy's Edge of Country …

Times have certainly changed.  I had to look really hard in the store to buy chocolate with the sum of fifty cents.  It was difficult to find anything I could buy with that amount.

I remember candy stores in my childhood and candy that could actually be purchased with a penny.  Even bazooka gum costs more than a penny today.  I have not looked lately but the last time I checked it was at least a nickel.

In fact, it cost the government more than one penny to manufacture one penny.  To me, that makes no sense to excuse the pun.  In fact, if you eliminate the sales tax you really would not have any further use for a penny.  Pennies then would become dinosaurs.

Tags: bazooka gum, candy, candy store, childhood, chocolate, fifty cents, government, inflation, nickel, pennies, penny, sales tax
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A marriage (or any other committed relationship) gives you another chance to do your childhood all over.  That seems like an odd statement but think about it:  your mate comes from at best similarly though not totally alike childhoods raised by different parents.

You always have blind spots.  And so does your partner.  Marriage gives you an opportunity to expose some of these.  And change in the process.  Live with a person day in and day out and you have seen the positive and negative points of your partner.

And some of these points you were blind to until you had them pointed out usually in some kind of conflict.  Every relationship has conflict.  And conflict forces you to reexamine attitudes you possess that you may not have given much thought to until they caused you problems.

Usually couples who do not fight with one another are not dealing with their differences and flaws they possess.  Compromises ensure the success in the relationship.  And sparks usually fly in the process.

Eventually hopefully the rough edges between both of you are smoothed out.  Marriage gives you the opportunity to face blind spots and grow.  In a way no other common institution does.

Tags: blind spots, childhood, compromise, conflict, couples, marriage, parents, relationships, smooth out rough edges, sparks fly, we are flawed, your mate, your partner
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Your growth is stunted when you can not tolerate even the slightest degree of criticism.  You feel you must be perfect in order to be loved.  And everyone is flawed.

Having to feel you must be a “nice” person all the time is not a good thing.  It prevents you from being real.  Being genuine is knowing you can make mistakes and those around you will still love you.

When you can not tolerate even the slightest degree of criticism, others have to walk delicately around you.  Others have a harder time being genuine around you.

There really is nothing wrong with being “nice” but the question is at what price?  If it is all the time, something is wrong.

You become afraid of others seeing how you really are.  You have to let down your shields at least with some people.  When you truly feel loved, this become easier.

When you can not tolerate any one being critical the slightest degree, you are handicapped at work, at home and in your significant relationships.  In every area.

It is a long uphill journey to correct the damage usually caused during childhood.  And a lot of people make it back successfully and learn to love and be loved.  There is always hope.

Tags: "nice" person, being genuine, being real, childhood, damage during childhood, everyone is flawed, feel loved, handicapped, let down your shields, love and be loved, make it back, mistakes, must be perfect to be loved, relationships, stunted growth, there is always hope, tolerate criticism, walk delicately
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I am convinced God created marriage for only one reason:  to teach us how to love better.  That is the only reason, as far as I am concerned, this institution was created.

I am extremely self centered and narcissistic.  Marriage forces me to examine my foibles and flaws.  I mess up all the time and hurt my “other”.

I have to apologize and ask her for her forgiveness.  I know precisely how flawed I am although I, often, am not aware exactly how having definite blind spots.  Marriage forces you to examine your weaknesses and attempt to correct them.

Your partner sees the worst in you given enough time.  There is no doubt about that.  One never sees what goes on behind closed doors nor should they.

When we are in a primary relationship we have a chance to examine our flaws again.  First we have to become aware of them, then decide how we want to change.  Every family is dysfunctional.  The only question is to what degree.

When we are in a relationship we are forced to examine our shortcomings.  We have a chance to examine our childhood again.  Every relationship is flawed including our parents’.  When we live with someone nothing is hidden too long.

As time goes on, we have a chance to correct flaws we become aware of.  I laughed at my friend when he said marriage is “work” (that was in my single days).  I am no longer laughing at him.  Marriage is work.  Hopefully the pluses outweigh the minuses and the marriage survives.

Living with another is the hardest thing in the whole world.  It is the compromises we have to work out that insure the success of the marriage.  Living with another forces us to get out of our self-centeredness and forces us to love another human being better.

There are no easy answers to each marriage, each marriage is different.  There is no more common institution than marriage to change the other.  Too many people do not want to do the hard work it takes to continue the marriage or examine themselves and their flaws.  Thus the high divorce rate.  There are no easy answers to any marriage; it all takes time (and commitment) to one another.

Tags: apologize, behind closed doors, blind spots, change, childhood, commitment, compromise, divorce, dysfunctional family, examine your weaknesses, flawed, forgiveness, God, love, marriage, marriage is work, narcissistic, our parents, our shortcomings, relationship, self-centered, teach us to love better, your partner
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I am convinced that the only reason marriage was put on this earth was to teach one another how to love.  I know I am extremely self-centered and am forced in this relationship to consider another.

Your mate see everything about you.  Given enough time together, your other sees all the different sides of you–the worst as well as the best.

Each partner has rough edges and what ensures the success of the marriage is how well you work our your differences.  That takes time and the process can be rough as it often is and hopefully as time goes some of these rough edges are smoothed out.

Each marriage is incompatible.  Each of us comes from different backgrounds–raised by different people all imperfect.  At best, our childhoods were somewhat similar but sometimes not.

Imagine how boring it would be if we understand each other perfectly.  One lifetime is really not enough time to learn about each other.

Love and forgiveness is the glue that holds a marriage together.  And mystery and mystique drives it.

Tags: childhood, different backgrounds, forgiveness, God, incompatible, love, marriage, mate, mystery, mystique, partner, relationship, rough edges smoothed out, self-centered, teach you how to love, we are all imperfect, work out differences, your mate
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