I am hesitant to go to a high school reunion. For many reasons. Maybe, the main reason is there is nothing there for me any longer. It is over forty years ago I graduated from high school. I still remember going back to my hometown in the early seventies and I realized I could not go back.
All the people I knew were either in college or had moved away. The racial complexion of my community had changed drastically. Then it had become mostly Cuban.
Considerably more time has passed since then. I am not the same person. Of course, there are other reasons. All these people have become strangers. For that matter, the few people I wanted to keep up with I did. There were not many. Two of them were on the tennis team I played.
There is always the fear no one will remember me although I am always curious what memories anyone had of me. If any?! Another reason is I fear I may not have anything to show for my life. Some people may have become doctors, teachers and hold advanced degrees. I have none.
The last fear is one I have to resist. To some degree I have done what I wanted to, which is to write although I have not made a living from it. I never had to. There may be no reason to connect with anyone. There is too much “posturing” that goes on in these reunions.
Time is really fleet. It seemed like I just graduated from high school and that is just an illusion. A lifetime has gone by. Sometimes I do not know how to account for that. And maybe that is my worst fear. I squandered my precious time.
Tags: advanced degree, college, graduate, high school reunion, hometown, I cannot go back, lifetime, show for my life, squander time, tennis team, time, time is fleet, time is precious, write, writing
Posted in balance, death, knowledge&learning, life, relationships, time, writing, your job/mission/profession |
