Siggy’s Blurbs

I woke up in the middle of the night and Tilla one of my pups was asleep right next to me again.  I never thought another dog would come along who I would love as deeply as Daisy, now gone over three years.

Daisy was the first dog I raised from a pup.  She was one stubborn dog.  I finally decided to train her when I broke the front door window for the third time.  She would go berserk whenever I was about to leave the house.  She scared me and I slammed the door again breaking the glass.

It took infinite patience to train her to stop barking uncontrollably every time I was about to leave the house.  I would clamp my hands over her snout when she barked.  If she stopped, I praised her.  Otherwise I said nothing.

I repeated this technique umpteen times.  I knew I had succeeded when all I had to do when she barked was “shush” her and she would stop immediately.

It also took a long time to train her to sleep in the corner of the bed.  She would want to sleep too closely to me.  I must have pushed her away from me dozens of times in bed before she started sleeping at my feet.

My wife was always amazed that now she would automatically sleep at my feet at the furthest reaches of the bed.

When I was in the house her eyes never left me.  She was my dog.  She finally died and I missed her terribly.  And I thought that there would never be a another dog like her.

Well, Tilla came along.  We were down to one dog and someone gave us a young female golden retriever.  And you know the rest of the story:  she got pregnant before we could fix her.  And Tilla was one of her puppies.

Tilla as opposed to Daisy wanted to please.  We had our own set of problems with him.  Tilla was the only dog athletic enough to  jump the fence we had erected and finally at great expense we had it built higher.  He also had a bad habit of pooping in the dining room every night.

He is the only dog of ours who prompted a visit from the local dog warden when a neighbor complained about one of his escapades.

He was a scoundrel and was the most aggressive of our four dogs yet paradoxically was timid when it came to other humans except us.  He will be three next July.

Tilla did certain things to endear him to me.  He loved getting belly rubs and would turn over on a dime for that privilege.  Whenever he was waiting for me to let him out he would twirl rapidly in almost perfect circles.  He was the only dog to do that of our four.

I started giving him special walks because for a while he was the only dog we could not let loose in the yard.  He can’t replace Daisy but he has come close.  And he came when I least expected it.  He has captured my heart.

Tags: athletic dog, belly rubs, captured my heart, Daisy, death, dog barking, dog poop, dog training, dog twirl in circles, dog walking, dog warden, dogs, endear, fenced in yard, golden retriever, jump the fence, miss her, my dog, my wife, never another dog like her, patience, praise the dog, puppies, stubborn, Tilla, train my dog, walk the dog
Posted in animals, death, local, love, pets, relationships, seasons, time | No Comments »

I feel bad for our cat Slinky:  she is dying from a tumor.  I am not sure we can do anything about it.  She is a black female cat, somewhat timid but very affectionate, over eight years old.

We have a total of eight cats and four dogs.  That still does not make it any easier.  We could give her a cat scan, which might indicate whether the tumor is treatable but it is very expensive.

I am torn.  She was sitting on my lap just a few days ago and I realized how much I loved her.  It is so hard to let go.  I imagine some of my other pets dying.  I know they will but my mind is balking at the thought of any of them dying.

I love each pet.  Each pet is different and has a distinct personality.  And I have a special relationship with each.

I believe God has put pets in our lives to teach us to let go and love again.  We usually outlive them.  It is so hard to see any of them die.

Tags: 12 pets, affectionate cat, black cat, CAT scan, cats, death, dogs, dying from a tumor, each animal has a personality, God, love, love your pets, our cat, outlive our pets, Slinky, special relationship with pets, teach us to let go and love again, timid cat
Posted in God, animals, balance, beauty, death, health, life, local, love, pets, relationships, seasons, time, wisdom | No Comments »

I miss those magnificent oak trees that I passed by every time I went to the local post office.  They were only a block away.

I talked once to the man, “Drummy?” who informed me he planted them decades ago.  He lived until 101 and was called the oldest boy scout in the county.

There were only three left.  I had moved away and once was visiting my old haunts.  The last three were gone.  There were holes where the trunks used to be.  They were 100 foot plus high stately oaks.

They were not diseased but were cut down because if they ever fell down, they might do major damage to the three nearby houses.

The trees did nothing wrong and I was glad I did not live in that town any longer because every time I would pass that street I would think of those trees.  I still mourning their death.

Tags: 100 feet tall, 101 years old, death, man lived to 101 years, mourn, oak tree, oldest boy scout in the country, post office
Posted in beauty, death, life, local, nature, time | 2 Comments »

All I want you to do is listen, not feel sorry for me.  The prognosis was not good.  My kidney function had declined and I might have to undergo dialysis within a year.

My depression further increased when I learned only a third of the people undergoing dialysis survive five years and there was , also, a greater chance of of stroke and heart disease.

Suddenly I realized I might not make it even to sixty- five.  My mortality became real.  Everyone knows that they are going to die eventually but act as if death will never come and when it does others act surprised and think it is a terrible thing.

I wanted to talk openly about this latest development but I felt odd bringing it up with certain loved ones and friends.  Death has become a taboo.  It is not discussed openly in our society.

I did not want sympathy.  I did not want others to feel sorry for me.  Instinctively I knew who I could not discuss my situation with.  I felt odd with them.

With those people when they ask me how I am doing, I just say “fine.”  I really wanted someone to listen, to be able to share my fears –my fears of hopelessness, of being in pain and discomfiture, dependent on others, afraid of losing my mental facilities.

I just wanted to go out in grace and peace.  Death was knocking.  There are no certainties.  It just did not look good.  I will grab every bit of control I can in my situation.  I just did not want to do it alone.

Tags: death, death is taboo, dependent, depression, dialysis, discomfiture, discuss death openly, don't feel sorry for me, don't want to do it alone, every bit of control, friends, go out in grace, hopelessness, kidney function, listen, loved ones, metal facilities, mortality, pain, peace, prognosis not good, share my fears, society, someone to listen, sympathy
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I felt odd discussing my health situation:  I went to my nephrologist (a kidney doctor) for the second time.  The report of my condition was worst than I thought:  my kidney function was down to twenty per cent and my doctor in the next visit was going to discuss  putting me in dialysis.  It takes six to twelve months to put into motion.

I started to mull over what this meant.  A loss of my freedom.  I could not easily go away.  I had dreamed for forty years to travel to San Francisco maybe even by train (I loved train rides).  I would visit my sister whose house I had never seen and my brother-in -law who I have never met.  This would be almost impossible to do once I started dialysis.  I could at most go away for a day or two at a time.

I was reeling from this news.  I did not want to bear it alone.  Sharing it with others meant reminding them of their own mortality.  And death was the last taboo so I could not discuss my situation so easily with others.  I felt all alone.

Time all of a sudden became very valuable.  I did have a window.  I am going to take the trip that I dreamed to take for most of my life before I start my dialysis.  You only live once.

Tags: bear it alone, brother-in-law, death, death the last taboo, felt all alone, health, kidney doctor, kidney function, loss of freedom, mortality, my sister, nephrologist, reeling from news, San Francisco, share, time very valuable, train ride, window of time, you only live once
Posted in death, health, life, relationships, seasons, time, wisdom | No Comments »

I really do not understand why your own death is so hard to contemplate.  At some point everyone knows that we will live not live forever but we act as if death is a failure and is a great thing that should not happen.

Just look at the reaction of the public when someone famous and young dies suddenly.  How could have this happened everyone wonders.  Yet we know we have no way to know the timing of our own death.  Sometimes it happens at the end of the struggle at the end of a long illness or simply due to old age:  our bodies just wore out.

Sometimes death occurs quickly and totally unexpected perhaps due to a accident or unexpected fatal occurrence.  No one wants to discuss their own impending death.  And even after it occurs others 0ften act as if it was a great curse.

Death really makes your life much sweeter.  It forces you to consider your life choices more carefully.  Just think how horrible it would be if each person knew they would live forever.

The knowledge your life is finite forces you to consider carefully the steps and decisions you are going to make, the people you choose to spend time with, your career.  We only get one time around.

Death has become a great taboo and has become really impersonal.  Far more people today dies in hospitals.  And when that occurs, the supporting staff just sweeps your body away as if you were never there.

No one wants to die alone.  The impersonal nature of death has led to the hospice movement which tries to restore dignity to your impending death.

It was not needed several decades ago when most people died at home usually surrounded by their loved ones.  No 0ne wants to die alone.

Death is really natural.  It happens to every one.  The sooner you can realize that the more precious the time on this earth becomes.  This realization causes you to make your life more meaningful.  As I said earlier you only go around once, so make the best of it.

Tags: accident, career, death, death is natural, death is taboo, death makes life sweeter, die alone, die at home, die in hospital, die suddenly, die with dignity, die young, famous, hard to contemplate, hospice, illness, impending death, impersonal, life choices, life is finite, make the best of it, meaningful life, not a curse, old age, surrounded by loved ones, unexpected death, we don't live forever, you only go around once, your body, your death, your time is precious
Posted in God, balance, beauty, death, health, knowledge&learning, life, love, relationships, seasons, time, wisdom, writing, your job/mission/profession | No Comments »

Funerals are for the living. I am going to my Aunt Gerda’s funeral tomorrow.  I have known this aunt since I was this little.  My two sisters and my nephew and niece will be there.

My aunt lived until the ripe old age of 92.  No one lives forever yet others act as though death is an abomination and something terrible.  It says clearly in the bible that from dust we come and to dust we shall return.

Funerals are really for the living.

It gives others, especially those people who were invested in that person’s life, a chance to process their grieving openly in a group setting.

Persons who died do not need the funeral except for the obvious reasons.  It is others–the living-who need the funeral.  So I will think about these things as I go to the funeral.

I grew up with my aunt and she was my favorite aunt.  Her death is still too fresh.  It is hard to fathom my loss.  That will take time.  Attending her funeral will start this process of grieving.

Tags: aunt, Bible, death, dust-to-dust, family, funeral, funerals are for the living, grief, grieving, loss, nephew, niece, sister
Posted in God, balance, death, love, relationships, seasons, time, wisdom | No Comments »

How out of whack you are:  You think the worst thing in the world is our four dogs coming in from the yard tracking mud into our living room rug.  You have no sense of perspective.

There are people in the world who are dying because open sewage is running into the gutters in the street spreading disease.  We spend more money for pet food and bird seed than some families’ yearly income.

There are many people in many places in the world who can not buy something as basic as Neosporin ointment and aspirin (both over the counter items).

There are many people dying because they do not have access to medical care:  they are too poor.  People are dying in this world from AIDS because they can not get the medications that are too expensive for them to buy.

The poorest people in the United States are rich by most standards.  No, I do not particularly want my dogs tracking mud onto my living room rug and will do what I can to prevent that from happening but if you think that is the worst thing in the world, you have no sense of perspective!!!???

Tags: aspirin, bird seed, death, disease, dogs, living room, medical care, medicine, mud, perspective, pet food, poor, rich, United States
Posted in animals, balance, death, money, nature, politics, time, wisdom | No Comments »

You must always face death with courage.  None of us knows, for sure, how much time we have on this earth.  Sometimes death can come suddenly and other times slowly.

You have two broad choices:  You can live your life with courage or you can live your life with fear.  Death is the fear of the unknown.

I choose courage.  And the wisdom that can accompany it.  We are all going to die one day.  That is a fact.  But people act as if death does not exist.

It can only make your life that much sweeter.  Imagine if we knew were were going to live for eternity.  How awful that would be.

Face each day that God has given you with gratitude.  Then it no longer matters how much time you are here on this earth.  Face each day with courage and wisdom.  Death then has no power.

Tags: courage, death, death has no power, eternity, face death, fear, fear of the unknown, God, gratitude, life, live with courage, live with fear, time on earth, unknown, we all die, wisdom
Posted in God, balance, death, knowledge&learning, life, seasons, time, wisdom | No Comments »

I want to grow old gracefully.  Death is the final frontier.  People do not want to talk about it.  From dust you came and to dust you shall return.  These are not my words.  Everyone knows this is true yet we pretend this will not be our fate.

Sometimes death comes suddenly:  An heart attack, stroke or even an accident we could not predict.  I want to squeeze every bit of life I can that is given to me.  And go out gracefully.

My Dad lived until ninety one, my Mom eighty.  I do not know for sure if I will make it any where near that.  Yes, I will take good care of me, eat properly, exercise and sleep properly but death is not my calling.

It is God’s timing and if God gives me more time I will accept it with grace.  Love those around me.  After all that is what life is about:  Love, work and grace.  Wasn’t that Freud’s definition of health:  to be able to work and love.

I can not think of a better definition of health–to be able to love and work.  That sums it all up.  When my day comes I hope there will be a celebration of a life well spent, of a life of a person who truly loved the people around them.

Amen.

Tags: celebrate life, death, dust-to-dust, Freud, God, God's timing, grace, grow old gracefully, health, love, love those around you, work
Posted in God, death, love, seasons, time, wisdom | No Comments »

Death is really valuable.  The fact that our lives are finite makes our lives that much sweeter.  What if you knew you were going to live forever; would there be any urgency to your life?  Doesn’t it make a difference knowing some day we are going to die?  And not only that.  We have no idea when.

Life becomes that much more valuable knowing it is finite.  When we are young there is the illusion we are going to live forever.  It is only an illusion, sometimes shattered when a friend close to us meets an untimely death.

I never forgot Anna Quinlan’s (the well known writer) comments.  She was in college and temporarily left to take care of her mother who was dying.  Then she returned to college with a different perspective, a keener appreciation of life.  She looked at her fellow students and considered their concerns now trivial.  Life had become very precious to her.  Her Mom died.  And the last few months she spent taking care of her illustrated to her how fragile and tenuous life really was.  She had a new found appreciation of how precious life really was.

One can not live with the notion he or she may go at any moment.  Everything is by grace.  And the awareness of the specter of death that awaits every one makes life that much sweeter  and always gives you a greater appreciation of the simple things every one takes for granted.  From dust you come and from dust you shall return.  Those words in the bible are so true.  Our society today views death as a curse.  It is really a gift so appreciate the time the Lord has given to you.  You only have one life so enjoy it and make the best of it.

Tags: Anna Quinlan, Bible, death, dust-to-dust, dying, God, life, living, Lord, one life, wisdom
Posted in God, balance, beauty, death, knowledge&learning, love, relationships, seasons, time, wisdom | No Comments »

If you want to cheat death, don’t worry about your life.  Take the place in the universe God Has given you.

Do what you are commanded to do, what the tiny voice inside of you is directing you to do.

Consequences always exist.  Do not be concerned about them.  Sure, take reasonable precautions, but do not let them shackle you.  Your place in the universes is unraveling.  Do not be afraid.

Follow your heart.  Sometimes it may deceive you but always return to the best life has to offer you.  Do not look at other people’s progress.  Looks are always deceiving.

Vibrate to the pulse of your universe.  It is your place.  Do not be concerned of your significance.  When you are fulfilling only the role, the place put on the earth for you there is never shame.

Too many people are trapped by the expectations of others.  Meet yours first and remember each one of us is important to the Almighty.  That is hard to fathom but fulfill the path He is laying out for you.  It is uniquely yours.  And the more you follow it the more your ripples can change the universes.  One person can change the world.  You have to believe you are here for a purpose.  You may not know it but believe you can make a difference.

To believe otherwise is to lead a life of despair.  Act as if you matter.  And you will.

Tags: Almighty, change the world, death, despair, expectations, follow His path, follow your heart, God, here for a purpose, life, life of despair, living, make a difference, tiny voice inside you, universe
Posted in God, death, wisdom | No Comments »