Every delusion (or fantasy) of yours has a kernel of truth in it.  You need to examine it, determine the dynamics.  I can’t tell what it is telling about yourself.  Nothing appears from nowhere.  You have to determine what truth it is revealing about yourself.  It is working backwards but after you discover the truth you will understand yourself a little better and know what needs to change.  Your delusions and fantasies are fulfilling a purpose.  Nothing exists in a vacuum.