Siggy's Blurbs: Siggy's Edge of Country …

Sex gives you a chance to do it all over again. Your childhood, your upbringing, your faults, your parents’ hangups all is revealed in the sexual relationship you engage in.

A committed extended relationship gives you another chance to work through your make-up, your psychological, deep rooted difficulties.

Nothing is hidden in sex. You may think so but it is not. I like a line from a Tim Buckley song, “In secret divorce they will never survive” from the song “Goodbye and Hello.”

Everything is revealed in sex. You may not be aware of it but it is. And your partner has their own separate set of problems. And somehow you need to work it out. Sex is the playground. And some relationships do not make it (and dissolve).

Sex exposes deep seeded difficulties when you raise kids where your childhood and upbringing is revealed. Every family is dysfunctional. We are all imperfect and flawed. Sex reveals this in a way that almost nothing else does.

Flesh to flesh nothing is hidden. It is just a question if you are willing to face your hangups and those of your partner. Not every one is willing to work through this.

Tags: "Goodbye and Hello", "In secret divorce they will never survive", difficulties, every family is dysfunctional, face your hangups, flesh to flesh, God, nothing is hidden in sex, problems, relationships, sex, Tim Buckley, upbringing, we are all flawed, we are all imperfect, work it out, your childhood, your faults, your parents, your partner
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Everyone has something they have to live with.  Sometimes that something is more apparent:  obvious illnesses and handicaps.  Most of the times that something is invisible.  Although if you spend any length of time with that person you usually find out what the difficulties are they are going through.

Some people act as if their unique set of problems is the worst thing in the whole world.  The grass is always greener elsewhere.  Actually our attempts to solve our personal problems is what makes our life interesting.

It is so easy to magnify our problems–distort them.  It is so freeing to find out other people also have problems that appear to have no solutions and also have unresolved conflict.

It is so important not to isolate yourself because when you do your problems always appear larger than they actually are.  Your problems shrink when you share them with trusted friends.

And theirs do likewise when they trust you and share theirs.  Every one has something to live with.  And life is not always fair although that is another subject.  And ‘No man is an island,’ in John Donne’s words.

Tags: difficulties, distort problems, do not isolate yourself, everyone has something, grass is always greener, handicap, illness, invisible, John Donne, life is not fair, magnify problems, no man is an island, personal problems, problems shrink when shared, trusted friends, unique set of problems, unresolved conflict, worst thing in the world
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The isolation you impose on yourself is bad because the problems you face become inflated.  When you break your silence and share your problems with trusted friends, you gain more of a proper perspective of your problems.

When you go beyond the borders of your house and mix with others, you usually find out others are also dealing with difficulties sometimes even worse than yours.

My favorite Norman Vincent Peal anecdote is when he was once walking with a acquaintance and this person ranted and railed about all the difficulties he was undergoing.

Norman interrupted the person in the middle of his conversation and asked him, “Do you want to know where you can go where you will no longer have problems?”  And the person exhorted him to tell him that immediately and Norman simply pointed to the ground.

Sometimes we forget difficulties are just normal state of affairs and we need someone to remind us of that fact.  Isolating yourself prevents you, often, from finding this elementary fact.

When you connect with someone and suddenly during the course of the conversation you find this out there is often a sigh of relief from you.

Life is full of problems and worries and concerns and it is important to find out yours are really not that unique and all are part and parcel of being alive.

Tags: being alive, break the silence, concerns, connect with someone, death, difficulties, difficulties are normal, do not isolate yourself, get out of the house, God, isolation is bad, life, life full of problems, Norman Vincent Peale, perspective, problems, problems inflated, share your problems, sigh of relief, trusted friends, worries
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People routinely ask you how you are doing and you respond, “Okay.”  Okay sometimes is not just an automatic response.  Sometimes it means whatever you are going through you are dealing adequately with it.

Sure we don’t respond to how we are doing and tell every person who asks all of our problems.  The truth is most people are not interested and do not want to hear all our difficulties we are going through.  And we should not burden every Tom, Dick and Harry we meet with them.

But sometimes okay is just that:  we are doing the best with our particular situation and thanks for asking:  I am “Okay.”  And that is okay.

Tags: dealing adequately, difficulties, doing the best we can, how you are doing, I am Okay, ok, okay, our problems, thanks for asking, Tom Dick and Harry
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