And I was taunted and critisized by my other when I could not find them no less catch them and then put them in the carrier.

Today, I was reminded, again, two cats are overdue for their exam and shots.  My wife previously caught them.  Somehow, it had become my responsibilty.

I refuse to be told I am less than a man becuase I am unsuccessful in locating them much less grabbing them and placing the squirming cat in the carrier.  This is all absurd.

She insisted I make an appointment for two at one time.  We save a little money.  I refused.  I remember my prior treatment by my wife.

I did not want to be critisized again.  We also have four dogs.  The dogs do not hide under furniture or can’t hide period!

Even my vet says it takes two to catch a cat.  This all seems very unfair and I refuse to make any further appointment for a cat until we work this out to my satisfaction.

Daisy was the first dog I raised from a pup.  She was one stubborn dog.  I finally decided to train her when I broke the front door window for the third time.  She would go berserk whenever I was about to leave the house.  She scared me and I slammed the door again breaking the glass.

It took infinite patience to train her to stop barking uncontrollably every time I was about to leave the house.  I would clamp my hands over her snout when she barked.  If she stopped, I praised her.  Otherwise I said nothing.

I repeated this technique umpteen times.  I knew I had succeeded when all I had to do when she barked was “shush” her and she would stop immediately.

It also took a long time to train her to sleep in the corner of the bed.  She would want to sleep too closely to me.  I must have pushed her away from me dozens of times in bed before she started sleeping at my feet.

My wife was always amazed that now she would automatically sleep at my feet at the furthest reaches of the bed.

When I was in the house her eyes never left me.  She was my dog.  She finally died and I missed her terribly.  And I thought that there would never be a another dog like her.

Well, Tilla came along.  We were down to one dog and someone gave us a young female golden retriever.  And you know the rest of the story:  she got pregnant before we could fix her.  And Tilla was one of her puppies.

Tilla as opposed to Daisy wanted to please.  We had our own set of problems with him.  Tilla was the only dog athletic enough to  jump the fence we had erected and finally at great expense we had it built higher.  He also had a bad habit of pooping in the dining room every night.

He is the only dog of ours who prompted a visit from the local dog warden when a neighbor complained about one of his escapades.

He was a scoundrel and was the most aggressive of our four dogs yet paradoxically was timid when it came to other humans except us.  He will be three next July.

Tilla did certain things to endear him to me.  He loved getting belly rubs and would turn over on a dime for that privilege.  Whenever he was waiting for me to let him out he would twirl rapidly in almost perfect circles.  He was the only dog to do that of our four.

I started giving him special walks because for a while he was the only dog we could not let loose in the yard.  He can’t replace Daisy but he has come close.  And he came when I least expected it.  He has captured my heart.

It just started an half an hour ago.  The snow flakes are tiny so I know I am in for it.  I can’t change the weather.  I just did a quick shopping trip not that I was going to run out of anything but I was low on a few supplies.

Tomorrow I will sprinkle some birdseed on the snow.  I already filled the suet.  The woodpeckers and nuthatch will greet me tomorrow.  My sunflowers feeder is still relatively full and I will get a steady stream of titmouse and black capped chickadees.

If the worst possibly scenario presents itself and we lose power, I have plenty of coal.  We will ride out the storm and enjoy all our bird visitors who come to our feeders and our four dogs will frolic in the snow.  Is there any thing better than that?

I woke up this morning and she was no longer there.  She was in heaven.  I would do any thing to see her again.  At least, she was no longer suffering.

Lynelle and I gently stroked her body as she lay on the table as the vet administered the drug that put her to sleep.

She was this innocent gentle cat that loved to hang out in the bathroom window and never got enough of our strokes.  I had taken her for granted.

I wish I had appreciated her more when she was on this earth.  I have now seven cats and four dogs.  I no longer want to take any of my pets for granted.  They are only on loan to us.  As every thing else.

We have a total of eight cats and four dogs.  That still does not make it any easier.  We could give her a cat scan, which might indicate whether the tumor is treatable but it is very expensive.

I am torn.  She was sitting on my lap just a few days ago and I realized how much I loved her.  It is so hard to let go.  I imagine some of my other pets dying.  I know they will but my mind is balking at the thought of any of them dying.

I love each pet.  Each pet is different and has a distinct personality.  And I have a special relationship with each.

I believe God has put pets in our lives to teach us to let go and love again.  We usually outlive them.  It is so hard to see any of them die.

Every day since I have been looking for it.  I found out it is a game bird, somewhat rare.  I will just consider the sighting serendipity.  Nevertheless, I will keep hoping to catch a glimpse of it.

He is the reason we built our 100 foot long fence over a foot higher.  He could jump the previous one–not the biggest dog we have (we have four) but he is lean and muscular with a barrel chest and the only dog of ours who could perform that feat.

The state dog warden once paid us a visit.  It seems “Tilla” escaped and “terrorized” the local neighbor’ s dog (and I use that word “terrorized” really loosely).  The two dogs simply barked loudly at each other.

He does have a timid nature although loving.  When my son comes over, he usually runs in the other direction.  And my son is good with dogs.

There are two other things he does that are unique:  he locks himself in the bathroom when he wants attention and the other is when he is anxious to go out he twirls rapidly in almost perfect circles.

He is the only dog who knows how to let himself out the front door.  We usually keep the screen door locked now.

He is the most aggressive of our four dogs.  If you put out four tidbits in front of them, he usually gets three of them.

He used to think he was still a puppy and snuggles onto my wife’s lap while she is sitting on her Lazy Boy all sixty-six pounds of him.

I started giving him an occasional walk for he was the only dog put on a chain (before we made the fence higher this summer).  Remember he could jump the fence.  I felt sorry for him.

Every time he hears the rattle of the chain he appears right in front of me.  Usually in five seconds or less.

He has become my dog and often sleeps with me on the bed.  There are probably more stories I could tell about him but this is a good start.

Somehow you need to break it.  In the beginning it is very difficult.  I was there.  I started to think of everything I should be grateful for.

Some things were material like the fence we made taller this year so all our dogs could be contained in our yard.  One dog could jump the fence and we wanted him to run wild again.

Four dogs who love me all in their own way was a thing to be thankful for.  I had a special relationship with one–”Tilla.”  That was no small thing.

I had to look for a crack in my depression.  At first it would be small but if I continued it would get bigger and bigger.  Finding things to be grateful for was a start.

As I watch my four dogs it is readily evident they know no other reality than now– the present.  If they are hungry or happy, you know it instantly.

The now is all that matters.  Yes, you can linger in the past or look into the future but if you stay in either realm you are not experiencing life to the fullest.

Being in the present is always being aware of your surroundings, your current feelings a constellation always fluid.  There are so many universes occurring simultaneously and to become aware of some of them is to be focused on the present.

There is beauty (and horror) everywhere.  In Ecclesiastes, a book in the Old Testament, it says in one passage that a gift given to us is to enjoy the daily pleasures of life –a paraphrase but nevertheless if you are not aware of life in the present you are missing out your enjoyment of life–the now.

Somehow you have to banish the past and do not linger in the moments to come and simply open up yourself to the present.  The world is yours to enjoy.

A little voice told me to thank God for doing that.  Most of my life I did not have pets.  I always wanted them although growing up my mother was simply too fastidious to even consider having them so I do not remember even asking her permission to have a pet.

The last twenty-two years I have had pets.  My two wives both loved dogs and cats.  So I decided to thank God for the task of picking up poop and handling soiled newspaper.

That is a small price to pay for the joy of having four dogs and eight cats.  Each pet has a different personality and are a joy to have.  All that is only by grace.  And cleaning up the dining room reminded me it is a privilege to have pets.  So thank you God for that!

She knows I often take my toast and give it to my dogs.  Today she told me, “I do not give my dogs extra food for they get fat enough on just the dog food I feed them.”  Not her exact words but a good paraphrase.

She is there (in the diner) for the long haul.  She loves her job and lives nearby.  I found out today her squash is not doing well in her garden.  Their buds keep falling out prematurely.  Maybe there was too much rain the last four weeks.

I am not extravagant with my tips but I tip accordingly; I give her a decent tip depending on my order.  I want to let her know I appreciate her excellent service.

She is a one woman show, usually she is the only waitress on and there is one cook.  In the early morning sometimes the waitress does every thing including cooking.

I ease drop on the conversations at the nearby tables.  It is amazing sometimes what I overhear.  Sometimes I do not talk at all.  I always sit at the counter.  Once in awhile I get into a brief conversation if someone sits  nearby.

I keep returning to the diner for the coffee is good, the price of the food is inexpensive and the hash browns are always tasty and I enjoy the brief contact with the waitresses.  My order is usually very simple.  Eggs up.  Once in awhile I order a glass of orange juice.

Of course I go to the trouble of learning all the different waitresses’ names.  There is nothing like a local diner to make you feel wanted and erase some of the loneliness of the morning.  My wife is never up at that hour.

She is bowlegged and is “mouthy”:  she will grab you by her teeth although she does not bite.  She has never bitten anyone.  She is quiet and can be quite insistent when she wants to go out.

She is confident, will not beg for attention but of course likes it.  Once in awhile she will roll on her back to get a belly rub but only once in a while.

Her brother the infamous “Tilla” or “Atilla the Hun” as he is originally named, will want a belly hug almost every time he is approached but “Coco” will only ask for it once in awhile.

I love “Coco”.  Don’t tell me dogs don’t have spirits and personalities.  They all do.  Every pet I have ever had had a distinct personality.  Coco is one lovely affectionate dog.  She is just not as demanding as her brother.  I have fallen in love with Coco.

I love all my pets:  all eight cats and four dogs.  Yes, we have a menagerie.  As time goes on, I will write about the other pets, too.

There are people in the world who are dying because open sewage is running into the gutters in the street spreading disease.  We spend more money for pet food and bird seed than some families’ yearly income.

There are many people in many places in the world who can not buy something as basic as Neosporin ointment and aspirin (both over the counter items).

There are many people dying because they do not have access to medical care:  they are too poor.  People are dying in this world from AIDS because they can not get the medications that are too expensive for them to buy.

The poorest people in the United States are rich by most standards.  No, I do not particularly want my dogs tracking mud onto my living room rug and will do what I can to prevent that from happening but if you think that is the worst thing in the world, you have no sense of perspective!!!???

He is sixty-six pounds and is black and would take umpteen walks if he had his way.  He is cheap.  All he wants is to have a bowl of food and water and be petted periodically.

He keeps wanting me to go faster and faster.  We just came back from a predawn walk; he walked at the fastest clip yet.  My wind is getting better and better.

If I am not careful, he will fire me and get another trainee.  He wants walks all the time.  All you have to do is rattle the metal leash and within five seconds he is at my feet or say the word “walk” and his ears immediately perk up.

I am grateful for him and I make sure every time he rolls over on his back he gets his belly rubbed.  I do not want to take any chances he will be hired by any one else.  He is the best trainer I ever had.