Siggy's Blurbs: Siggy's Edge of Country …

Every time I glance out my kitchen window onto the backyard and woods I am awed.  There is mystery there. Toads, turtles and cottontails live back there.  And I do not know what else.

Today everything is white and there is calm.  The snow is falling.  If I look carefully, I often see birds alight on some of the bushes.  It is wild back there.

Two summers ago I discovered a large raspberry patch in the corner of my property.  My wife made at least two pies from the berries I picked that year.

I love looking at the symmetry of the trees, how they placed themselves.  I know there is a higher power.  And every time I look at (???) that window I am assured of that fact.

There is a tiny creek back there which sometimes goes dry but the gully it created is at least six inches tall so it has been there for awhile.

Every once in a while I tramp around never certain what I will find.  I love surprises although they generally occur when I am not looking for them.  It is a piece of our property I love. I never know exactly what I will find.

It is wild and I want to keep it that way.  I hate manicured lawns.  I do not know why people are so proud of them.  And work so hard to keep them that way.  To me, it is an exercise in futility. I certainly don’t envy their neat lawns. I just love looking out my window.

Tags: awe, bird-watching, birds, cottontails, creek, exercise in futility, God, higher power, manicured lawns, my back yard, my wife, mystery, raspberry patch, raspberry pie, snow is falling, toads, trees, turtles, wildlife, woods
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My Eulogy

Writing our own eulogy is our latest exercise in our small writing group “Inklings”.  I really am balking at doing this exercise.  I am finding this to be a very difficult thing to do.

I guess I am afraid my life has been in vain–just an exercise in futility.  My life is an illusion.  I like to think I matter to others but maybe I don’t.  Maybe the only person I make a difference to is my wife (and no one beyond that).

I write about things that matter to me and maybe that is an exercise in futility, too.  I really don’t know.  I am afraid to write my eulogy.  I can not listen to my own eulogy although if I could I am not sure I would want to.

I am not sure anyone would come to my funeral.  I’d like to think at least one person namely my wife and two kids who are young adults would notice my passing.

Anyway, it has taken me several paragraphs to get here.  Despite my reluctance I will attempt to write my eulogy.

I like to think that after I die some of my words I have written (thousands) would inspire someone out there.  I would like to think I have earned the respect of people and would be considered a kind person.  And maybe I do not deserve that reputation although I would like to think I have.

I like to believe there would be a celebration of a life well spent.  That most of the memories I left behind would be good ones.

I do not know whether I will live to the day that I will have grandchildren.  It still may happen.  If so, I hope I will leave them a legacy behind–something for them to aspire to.  I want others to believe never to give up no matter how difficult your situation has become.  Perhaps my struggle with my bipolar illness will give others hope if they had to deal with a mental illness.  There is always a light at the end of the tunnel.

I want others to laugh at some of the words I have written.  Humor is important.  One should never forget to laugh at oneself.  Never take yourself too important.  I hope others will occasionally come across some of my humorous poetry and laugh.

May I have imparted to my children how beautiful this world really is.  A sense of wonder is a legacy I would be proud to have imparted.

Maybe I can sum up in one sentence the legacy I would hope I have imparted to others:  to be able to laugh, to see the beauty in the commonplace, to never give up whatever your difficulties and to learn to love those around you.

If that is part of the memories most of the people who I have left behind have of me I would be proud and would feel my life has been well spent.

Tags: afraid my life is in vain, afraid to write eulogy, aspire to, beautiful world, beauty in the commonplace, bipolar illness, celebration, difficult situation, difficult to write, earn respect, exercise in futility, give others hope, grandchildren, humor is important, humorous poetry, Inklings, kind person, laugh, laugh at oneself, leave good memories behind, life an illusion, life well spent, light at end of tunnel, love those around you, make a difference, matter to others, my eulogy, my funeral, my legacy, my wife, never give up, notice my passing, proud of my legacy, reputation, sense of wonder, two kids, write about what matters to me, write to inspire someone, writing group
Posted in balance, beauty, children, death, God, humor, knowledge&learning, life, love, marriage, nature, relationships, seasons, time, wisdom, writing, your job/mission/profession | 2 Comments »

I was looking out my back door window and just thinking.  A large section of our front yard no longer has grass and for a short time my wife was considering laying down sod.  I really do not care.  I always felt American’s obsession with having a large neatly manicured lawn was and is an exercise in futility.  I want a garden not a lawn.  In fact, a landscaper is going to help us with developing that.

The back yard is another story:  most of it is wild.  Toads appear at our doorstep every year–all sizes from tiny to humongous.  They are attracted to the bugs that come to the porch light.

There is a small creek in the back–most of the time just a trickle. You never know when a box turtle will appear.  We also saw wonderfully orange colored salamanders at least twice.  Rabbits play in the undergrowth.

I do not want to cultivate this area.  I love not knowing what I will see next, what unusual bird or whatever comes my way.

I love the wild.  It gives me a sense of the mysterious, the unknown, a feeling I love.  That is why I won’t cultivate the back of our property.

Last year after living here for over four years, to my delight and amazement I discovered a large patch of wild raspberries on the far corner of my property.  And I love raspberries.  I even picked enough berries for two pies.

I do not know exactly what lives there but I am always expectant when I peer out my kitchen window wondering what will come along next.  It is out of my control.  That is the way I want it.  This is one plot of land that will grow wild.  I rejoice in it.

Tags: bird-watching, birds, box turtle, bugs, creek, exercise in futility, garden, God, grass, landscape, lawn, manicured lawn, my wife, nature, rabbit, raspberries, raspberry pie, salamander, the unknown, toads, wild, wild land, wildlife
Posted in animals, balance, beauty, birds, God, knowledge&learning, local, love, nature, relationships, seasons, time | 2 Comments »