Tilla jumped enthusiastically on my bed to greet me.  He wanted a hug and was now on eye level.  His body shook all over in anticipation of my greeting.  Wouldn’t it be nice if all your friends made it that plain how glad they were to see you.  There is nothing like a dog for unconditional love.  In fact, some people prefer dogs to humans:  they don’t disguise their feelings.

Others can’t help revealing themselves:  all you have to do to understand this is to eavesdrop on peoples’ conversations.  What is occupying their minds, their present concerns comes out in their speech to other people.

Sometimes if you know the person, what is left out is revealing.  Other times you discover what is really on their minds when you listen.  Of course, some people are closed books and keep their thoughts and feelings to themselves.

Even then, you have some idea how they are doing:  ninety per cent of communication is non-verbal.  You have to look past the words they utter.

For others, you have to sense what they are saying jives with their body language.  In any case, most people can’t help revealing themselves one way or another.  You just have to pay attention.

It was in the late sixties I started keeping a journal.  It was a pivotal point in my life.  Forty years ago I knew my emotions were frozen.  I could not cry.  I did not know how I felt at any moment.  I was deeply depressed.

My journal was a start.  It gave me somewhere to go safely.  It was my only outlet (outside of sports) at the time.  My writings back then were not that good.  I poured out my depressed feelings.

Eventually some of my entries became poems and even got published.  That was the furthest thing from my mind when I started.

At some point years later I made an important shift:  instead of accenting the negative I started writing more and more about the positive in my life.

I never would have got there if I had not written first about all the things that were bothering me.

At some point I started recording the humorous things that happened around me.  It became another way to diffuse the “craziness” I saw.

I found out decades later I liked making people laugh at open mikes.  And I wrote more and more funny poems.

None of this would have not (???) happened if I did not start journalling in the late sixties.  Now my blogs have almost replaced my journal.  Though entries in my journal still trickle in.

I Do Not Want To But…

Author: siggy

I do not want to but… Feelings can be deceivers.  If you only do things when it feels right or the wind is blowing the right directions, you neglect tasks.  Sometimes it is simply the right thing to do despite how you feel.

Too many tasks are left undone when you wait for the perfect moment to do it.  Feelings run the gamut–from a continuum of 0 to 100.  It is okay to obey your gut.  Nevertheless, you also have to use your reasoning as far as doing things.

As I said, sometimes it is simply the right thing to do despite how you feel.  So next time you state, “I do not feeling like doing this,” ask yourself is it the right thing to do and act accordingly.

There is no such thing as secular music.  Every piece of music reflects something.  The musicians performing the piece of music reflected in their performance exactly how they were feeling, the reverence they had towards the music (or in some cases the irreverence).  Every emotion they were experiencing would come through in any superb piece of music.  It does not take long for a listener to realize the piece was mediocre.  Then you should discard that piece and no longer listen to that piece of music.

A good piece of music has power:  it can bring you up or even down.  And the best sometimes can do both.  You must be aware of the impact of the music you listen to and play it at appropriate times.

It is true there is no such thing as secular music.  Nevertheless, the piece can edify you or subvert you and you must be aware of what you are listening to and its power.  Subliminal messages can be conveyed.  Music can drive you up or bring you down.  You must be careful.

Writing is primarily psychological.  First you have to have something to say.  You need to be driven to reach out to an invisible audience, to solve a problem.  You may even know your end point but may not know how you are going to get there or what you are going to expound in the body of your text.

I never overly concerned about grammar (sic! the “fine editor” decided to leave this one as written!).  I know I can or my fine editor, my lovely and talented wife, can go back easily and tell me this or that needs correcting.  To be driven by passion, conflict is far more important.  If the feelings expressed are genuine they will always come through no matter how badly written the piece is.  Expressing yourself honestly and openly is what the reader responds to–not facile-ness.  It can be well written and say nothing.

Having something to say consistently always means providing quiet time for yourself and being able to listen to what the tiny voice inside of you saying:  “this is truly what is important and I want to express that openly to someone.”  Proverbs in the Bible says:  “Be still and know I am God.”

I am not going to discuss the existence of God in this piece but there is no doubt that one must have periods of reflection to continue to write.  Otherwise that person’s ideas will peter out eventually.  One must let his/her mind roam.  And that process is always psychological.  And that process is always a precursor to writing.