When you are ashamed of what you don’t know you are comparing yourself to someone else.  I had to accept who I was, whatever my portion of knowledge I possessed and go on from there.

Comparing myself to someone else just got in the way.  I had to accept who I was.  There would always be others who knew more and conversely who knew less.

My body of knowledge started off with me, whatever my limitations and that was the way it was.  Envy, which had turned  into shame, just got in the way.   Every time I read those lines of Emerson’s I could relax.  I no longer had to be ashamed of what I did not know.

I started listening to music seriously over forty years ago.  I knew back then I was not that articulate.  Music expresses the inexpressible so I was able to relate to it.  My favorite group then was Jefferson Airplane.  I came to the conclusion one reason I loved this group so much (I still do today) because their music had, at times, an angry tone and growing up I was not permitted to express anger at all, in any degree, so listening to them was cathartic.

As I grew older, my tastes kept expanding and were very eclectic.  I listened to a broad range of music:  blues, rock and roll, jazz, just about everything.

Although I spent hours everyday listening to music, it was not wasted time:  my mind would roam.  I started keeping journals and writing poetry.  I was gradually becoming more and more creative and that process started with  music.

At the same time, I was also becoming more and more articulate.  Music still was important and I continued to listen all those years every day for hours.  I never stopped.  In fact, I am very fortunate my wife shares my love of music.  I am always acting as her personal DJ.

I do not know if any of theses explanations explain my love of music or why I listen but maybe you can identify with some of these reasons or my drive to keep listening.

I am the only one in my family who is obsessed with music.  I can explain it quite plainly:  I want to listen to music almost more than I want to breathe.  I do not think you can be driven more than that.

Even if the stance you took was unpopular you have influenced other people and other politicians.  One presidential election, in recent times, was won by mere votes.  Never, ever give up your power of one vote.  That is all you have.  And that vote can move mountains.  If only every person believed that, less politicians would act with impunity.  They serve us.  Not the other way around.  So vote.  It matters.

A good piece of music has power:  it can bring you up or even down.  And the best sometimes can do both.  You must be aware of the impact of the music you listen to and play it at appropriate times.

It is true there is no such thing as secular music.  Nevertheless, the piece can edify you or subvert you and you must be aware of what you are listening to and its power.  Subliminal messages can be conveyed.  Music can drive you up or bring you down.  You must be careful.

Another time, also from my small town, I wanted to see the stars better.  There were just too many lights in town.  I even went up to the hill by the cemetery and looked into the valley and at the sky–still the same story.  There were too many lights to see the stars clearly.

Then one night I went to the River and there they were–the stars were in full display.

So many things are in plain sight but you have to change your routine slightly, walk, maybe, to a different spot, go at a different time and discover beauty was there all along.  We are such creatures of habit and those habits sometimes imprison us and somehow you need to modify them to open up a different world that was at your feet all along.  (to be continued)

The  fact is the world is interdependent.  We need one another.  This is never more apparent than when we are in a crisis.  Money can not buy “roots”.  Roots take years, decades to develop.  A lot of people do not take the time to develop roots, relationships with others.

When you reach out to others and help others in need, you are developing roots in the community.  It is a question of keeping your ears and eyes open around you.  Needs are there.  You have to figure, how can I reach out to the persons around me.  Your neighbors will tell you.  You just have to pay attention and figure out what can I do which will help this person I am having contact with.  It is just being alert.

What does this have to do with our failing economy?  Hard times force us to rely on one another more, to be more resourceful.  It destroys the illusion we don’t need Him.  And others.  We need one another.  And that is never more apparent than when we are not sure where the next meal is coming from or when we are struggling to pay our bills.  A failing economy puts most people in the same boat.  And we help one another more readily.  A failing economy is not  necessarily a bad thing.

The fact is we are all unequally gifted.  Some people are very talented:  can do almost anything and be successful.  Some people have more.  Some people have less.  Envy can eat at you.  There is a good reason “Thou shall not covet” is one of the ten commandments.

But when you rail at the higher powers for being so unfair with your worldly station, it only leads to problems and dissatisfaction.  Pray to God with thanksgiving.  There is a reason for that advice in the bible.

Otherwise we are this whining entity wanting this and that from above.  I think of God being above and millions maybe billions of strings are pulling at him all wanting it a different way.  Realizing everything is by grace and thanking God for all your blessings corrects your dissatisfaction with your life.

Insisting on God (or a higher power) being fair only can frustrate you.  Because life is NOT FAIR.  The serentity prayer is worth repeating and these are not the exact words:  what is in your control change, accept what isn’t and have the wisdom to know the difference.  These are not the exact words but it gets the point across.  Grab the control in your life you can, realize what you have no control of.  And accept the results.  That is the beginning of wisdom.

I never overly concerned about grammar (sic! the “fine editor” decided to leave this one as written!).  I know I can or my fine editor, my lovely and talented wife, can go back easily and tell me this or that needs correcting.  To be driven by passion, conflict is far more important.  If the feelings expressed are genuine they will always come through no matter how badly written the piece is.  Expressing yourself honestly and openly is what the reader responds to–not facile-ness.  It can be well written and say nothing.

Having something to say consistently always means providing quiet time for yourself and being able to listen to what the tiny voice inside of you saying:  “this is truly what is important and I want to express that openly to someone.”  Proverbs in the bible says:  “Be still and know I am God”

I am not going to discuss the existence of God in this piece but there is no doubt that one must have periods of reflection to continue to write.  Otherwise that person’s ideas will peter out eventually.  One must let his/her mind roam.  And that process is always psychological.  And that process is always a precursor to writing.

Nothing happens in a vacuum including depression.  There is an intricate relationship between our body and our mind.  My depression is telling me something is wrong, something needs correcting.  I need to take better care of myself.  I have to learn to listen to my body and mind.  Sometimes depression is just a physical thing.  Fatigue is often a factor.  Everyone has limits.  I have to observe mine.

Knowing your dusk has come and you really have no idea how many dawns will still appear in your life and all you can do is treasure each moment.  Wouldn’t life be boring without mystery and wonder?  And do you have any doubt man was created just below the stature of angels?  And also the universe could not have created by chance.  All that is mystery (and wonder).  So ponder some of those things.

Money can provide the illusion this is not so.  It is truly an illusion.  All you have to do is think of all the services provided for you.  Someone keeps the roads paved.  Someone is raising the crops that provide the food you buy in supermarkets.  The Army and the police assure your safety.  There are scientists,  engineers working on solutions to improve your life further.  There are hospitals, doctors, teachers, the list is endless of people out there providing for you and your children.  Are you beginning to get the point?  We are dependent on one another.

In fact the bad ecoconomic state we are in even more so forces us to rely on each other.  That is really a good thing.  One does not have to do it alone and can relax.  Still you have to do your part.  Nevertheless,  we are interdependent with one another.  We can rely on each other.  That is really  the way the world is designed.  In the words of John Donne,  ‘No man is an island.’  If we can hold on to that idea, the world becomes a much smaller place and we can relax further.  No one has to do it alone.  We are in this world together.  It is okay to ask for help when you need it and certainly it is okay to reach out to the needs of people around you.  All that can be very comforting.

Life is always a balancing act.  Reading is only one part of my life.  I need time to absorb and reflect on the significance of what I read and for that matter I need time to simply reflect periodically where I am going or have been.  That takes time and often quiet.  Reading is only one thing I do and is punctuated by empty spaces.  I never feel guilty I have not read enough or thoroughly enough.  It is all relative.  One has to live his life.  Ideas are only one thing.  Then one has to put into practice what he/she learns.  That is only possible if reflection takes place.  And that, of course, takes time.