Reach out to others in small ways.  A person always remembers small kindnesses.  So reach out to others.

You will be rewarded in love far beyond your imagination and your belief.  Never stop reaching out.

This is all I learned and want to pass on.  Never be afraid of your rejections.

Learn to love.  You will never be disappointed.  People always respond to kindness even if is it is not acknowledged.  The person noticed even if she/he did not respond to you.  They noticed I guarantee you..

So never stop reaching out to others.  Your love is infinite.

And that which is returned.  Love is the only thing that matters in this world.

It is always there.  So, again, I say reach out to others around you.  You might may even entertain an angel.

It was a small thing but marriage is composed of many small acts.  Things you work out between you.  And every marriage is different.  It was important to her that I not place my dirty socks inside out on the dryer so I did it.  Little things matter.

We have a total of eight cats and four dogs.  That still does not make it any easier.  We could give her a cat scan, which might indicate whether the tumor is treatable but it is very expensive.

I am torn.  She was sitting on my lap just a few days ago and I realized how much I loved her.  It is so hard to let go.  I imagine some of my other pets dying.  I know they will but my mind is balking at the thought of any of them dying.

I love each pet.  Each pet is different and has a distinct personality.  And I have a special relationship with each.

I believe God has put pets in our lives to teach us to let go and love again.  We usually outlive them.  It is so hard to see any of them die.

Our gross national product is based mostly on consumer buying so this is no accident.  Start centering on your many riches and be satisfied with what you got.  The best things are free.  Love has no cost.  The things that matter the most can be freely given:  acceptance, love and an ear to those closest to you.

It is true:  you need the basics:  food and  shelter.  God just needs to provide you with that.  Poverty has always existed in this world.  And we are commanded to help those in need around us.

But we desire so much beyond that.  And it always makes us unhappy.  And I struggle with that, too.  I know money is going to get tighter but if I can focus on everything I have, I will be happier.

Some marriages are a better fit than another.  It does not matter.  At some point, there is going to be conflict.  And how successfully you work it out determines the success of your marriage.

Each person is selfish and conflict draws this out.  The vows say for better or worse, in sickness or health.  Commitment is always the key.  Do you ride out the rough moments?  Every marriage will have difficult times.

Your partner sees all your sides given enough time.  The good points of yours as well as your bad side.  Nothing is hidden.

Only love can transcend them.  That is why I say the institution of marriage was created for only one reason–to teach us how to love better.

Your rough points given enough time in a marriage becomes smoothed over.  Love is always the key.  And commitment makes it work.

Of course, kindness starts off with you, your thoughts, your self talk.  If you can treat yourself  with tolerance and love, fully aware you are flawed and forgive yourself for blundering and, also, ask others for forgiveness when you have hurt them.

I find it interesting in the Lord’s Prayer it states, ‘And forgive our debts, as well as we forgive our debtors’ (Matthew 6-12).  You have to ask God for the forgiveness of you sins first before can you can forgive others for hurting you.

If you love those who God puts in your life (and it starts off with your mate) you can transform the world.  Never discount the power of one.  Every movement started off with one person so never discount yourself.

Humans (including myself) are very flawed.  It does not matter what you do for a living.  Some may be impressed by that but what most people remember is how you treated them.  If it was with love and kindness, they may remember that for a long time.

Forgiveness is in the equation because humans make mistakes with one another and hurt one another.  It does not matter if it was intentional or not.  It just happens.

And forgiveness give us a “clean slate” and lets us start afresh with one another.  And forgiveness has a price.  It is not easy.

I read in a book all God asks of us is to forgive each other.  Wouldn’t that transform the world if everyone did that?

And this starts in the most basic social unit–the family.  And then make wider circles:  your neighbors, your state, your country.  And it has to start in the family first.

I am as guilty as anyone of this.  My music, my writings and journals and books are far too important to me.  Yet when my appointed hour comes, I can no longer hang on to any of these things.

Why do we act as if we can take our possessions with us when we die?  We try up till the last moment to retain some control of our most valuable possessions.  We make wills.

The fact still remains we can’t take them with us.  Wouldn’t it make more sense to invest in the things that really have more lasting effects?  Wouldn’t it make more sense to invest time while you are on earth in relationships–your immediate family, your friends, your kids?

Once you are gone all people have are their memories of you, the love and care you have demonstrated toward them.  You can have far reaching effects if you have invested time and love in others while you were on this earth.  People you have loved have memories of you long after you are gone.

Far too many people do not invest time in others.  They spend their whole life in accumulating things.  No one remembers how hard you worked in your lifetime.  They remember the love you have demonstrated toward them.  So before it is too late, do something about it.  Examine your priorities.  You have one life.

Knowing you really do not care how you are spending most of your time.

Knowing deep inside your job is the wrong one and you refuse or are too scared to make any change.

There are too many unresolved conflicts in your life.

Your marriage is “dead” and you are “paralyzed”.

Each day is the same.

You no longer can see beauty.

All you can do is complain.

Money is more important than people.

Each day is not new and blends into each other and you wonder how you spent your time.

In fact, you have no idea where the time went.

Love just seems to be too idealistic.

You can not love or work.

All you feel is pain.

You can not get past your pain.

You forgot how to laugh.

Each day is not a new dawn.

You think you have to go to some far off exotic island, To escape, to enjoy your vacation.

You can not wait to do that.

All your friends have died.

You forgot how to be a friend.

This is just an incomplete list.

And I want to caution there is always two sides to everything.

And it is only my list.

We had such a “rocky” relationship.  Most of my life he did not accept me and we argued a lot particularly about finances:  I knew I did not meet his expectations of a son.  He never told me exactly how.

The last conversation I had with him he told me he was far more impressed with the million dollars his future son in-law made selling his company than anything I did.

I remember our conversation and was then aware it might be the last time I  might talk to him.  He was ninety-one and possibly blind.  His mind was lucid but I had to talk to him slowly.  I tried reasoning with him but to no avail.

He did not value anything I accomplished in my life.  All he valued was money.  I finally gave up and left him in bed.  That was the last time I saw him alive.  He died shortly after.

Although he did not approve of my life I did know the last year or two of his life he loved me.  That was a gift but I wish he would have valued who I truly was a little more.

Anyway, hearing the song “Old Man” brought up memories of my Dad and all the years we “lost”.  I loved him despite how hard he was with me.  In the end he loved me.  That was all that mattered.

You earn it by spending time with your kids, day in day out.  Being a father is a privilege.  It is not simply genetics.  It is loving your kids even when they “mess up”.

You know damn well you are flawed.  Being a father is apologizing to your kids when you made a mistake.  God knows, we all err.

Being a father is encouraging each kid to follow his/her dreams even if that was not a path you would have followed but each kid has their own dream.

Being a father is encouraging your kid when they fall down and encouraging them to get up again and not give up.

There are so many things a father does.  Maybe the most important thing a father can do is to set the example for them to follow.  There is no more important thing a parent can do than the right thing even when it costs.  Honesty and integrity have their price.

Being a parent is forgiving your mate when he/she has made a mistake.  Being a parent (and father) is loving your wife at all costs.  Maybe that is the greatest example you can set.  Transmit fidelity and trust and love.  I can not sum up being a father in three more important words than that.

Maybe I will add another:  integrity, fidelity, trust and love.  Transmit all those things to your children and you have succeeded in your role as a father.  Being a father is a lifetime occupation.  You are in it for the long haul.  A lifetime.

I am extremely self centered and narcissistic.  Marriage forces me to examine my foibles and flaws.  I mess up all the time and hurt my “other”.

I have to apologize and ask her for her forgiveness.  I know precisely how flawed I am although I, often, am not aware exactly how having definite blind spots.  Marriage forces you to examine your weaknesses and attempt to correct them.

Your partner sees the worst in you given enough time.  There is no doubt about that.  One never sees what goes on behind closed doors nor should they.

When we are in a primary relationship we have a chance to examine our flaws again.  First we have to become aware of them, then decide how we want to change.  Every family is dysfunctional.  The only question is to what degree.

When we are in a relationship we are forced to examine our shortcomings.  We have a chance to examine our childhood again.  Every relationship is flawed including our parents’.  When we live with someone nothing is hidden too long.

As time goes on, we have a chance to correct flaws we become aware of.  I laughed at my friend when he said marriage is “work” (that was in my single days).  I am no longer laughing at him.  Marriage is work.  Hopefully the pluses outweigh the minuses and the marriage survives.

Living with another is the hardest thing in the whole world.  It is the compromises we have to work out that insure the success of the marriage.  Living with another forces us to get out of our self-centeredness and forces us to love another human being better.

There are no easy answers to each marriage, each marriage is different.  There is no more common institution than marriage to change the other.  Too many people do not want to do the hard work it takes to continue the marriage or examine themselves and their flaws.  Thus the high divorce rate.  There are no easy answers to any marriage; it all takes time (and commitment) to one another.

Sex peters out awfully quickly when love between the partners fizzles out.  Love is the thoughts you direct unseen toward your partner.  He/she knows what you think behind closed doors and even unseen, unheard.

Sex with love has no parameters.  It goes anywhere the hearts desire.  Sex is far more than the physical.  Your partner always knows when you stop listening.  True communication is love which turns into the physical.

No matter how good the sex is eventually it turns sour without love.  Love always goes beyond the physical.  Love is really the only thing that matters.

If you want to cheat death, do not be concerned about the dying.  Be concerned that you do God’s will and know not one person can tell you which path to take.

If you want to cheat death be concerned about the present.  Do not live in the past or the future.  Live the life you have today.

Don’t be afraid of the things you have no control of but seize the control of things you do.  If you want to cheat death let no one tell you this is the correct path.  Love each person God puts in your life.

If you want to cheat death live fully in the moment, savor each moment.  Do not be afraid.

Sex is not casual.  It imprints at a deep level one person with the other.  It always has a price so do not be fooled:  there is no such thing as casual sex.

Yes, sex is physical yet it transcends everything so next time you are tempted to break your bond with your primary partner think twice and resist temptation.  There is always a price to pay if you stray.  It may be one you will regret.  Broken trust is extremely hard to get back.  And often you can’t regain it back so think awfully hard next time you are tempted.

In order to do that you have to reach deep within you, find the solution to resolve the impasse. This is all good. You must seek a creative solution to break the impasse.

In the process your roots are entangled with your partner, making your connection that much deeper. Conflict brings your deepest feelings to the surface.

After peace comes, you know your conflict resolution was genuine. Couples who do not argue are not facing their conflict head on but are superficially connecting with one another.

Anger indicates you have hit a nerve and you need to find a solution pleasing to both–often a compromise. Then a calm can come bringing peace to the couple. One needs to be kind in the process otherwise too many hurt feelings will hinder your resolution of your conflict.

Conflict can be a good thing. In the wake of a genuine solution, a couple’s relationship can become that much stronger. Conflict, in that case, is always beneficial.

You fight

Wonder

If you are right for each other

When love is not enough,

Angry, hurt words are spoken

Shattering the peace

When love is not enough

Sex disappears

And you wonder

What you ever

Saw in one another

When love is not enough

I have to forgive

My partner

For being

As imperfect

As I Am

When love is not enough

You have to start

From the beginning

Uncertain, unsure

Never knowing

Is love enough