I keep a close eye on my sleep patterns. If I am sleeping regularly nine or ten hours and all of a sudden my sleep falls to seven hours a night my alarm is set off and I view my other behavior. I do enlist the help of my wife when I do this (and this can be hard to do). And sometimes my wife initiates this review.
Am I losing my temper more frequently? Have I become agitated (like I am crawling out of my skin)? What kind of music am I listening to? Is it music to rev myself up? How am I feeling when I listen to this music? Am I becoming more euphoric? Has there been a surge in self-confidence? Am I talking more?
There are other signs. One particular one I can’t ignore: Am I becoming more anxious in public–maybe even a little paranoid? All this self examination is set off by a change of sleep patterns. That is one sign I can’t ignore.
All this was taught to me by my doctor decades ago. I have some control. I will not go out of control. One of my meds will need to be increased and then some of these symptoms will subside. I will start sleeping better in a few days.
When I realize I am undergoing another episode I call my med nurse who consults my doctor and they discuss what to do and the nurse gets back to me. I am lucky: the community mental health center I go to is very well run and I can rely on them.
I have gone through these episodes dozens of times. I know now what to expect. I do not change my life abruptly when I am in this cycle although I recognize I might sleep a little less. I might make some adjustment like not going out in public as much if it is too difficult until this cycle ends. (They usually last four or five months.)
I know when this period is ended: My sleep patterns become more normal. I will start sleeping more every night regularly. And at that point I can go back to my normal dosage of the med I increased. My episode is done.
Tags: agitated, anxious in public, have some control, know what to expect, losing my temper, manic episode, med nurse, meds, mental health, mental health center, music, my doctor, my sleep patterns, my wife, paranoid, self examination, self-confidence, sleep less, sleeping better, talking more
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