Siggy’s Blurbs

“Cool Hand Luke”, my black cat I owned before even I married my wife.  Nothing seems to faze her, thus the name.  She is the only animal left from that period, nine years ago.  She is one of the few cats who will cozy up to me.  She is affectionate.  She has some idiosyncrasies:  she likes to go through doors.  Open one, she will dash  through and seconds later she might run back in.  She also likes to knock down things in her way.  Sometimes she will be on the window ledge and knock down everything in front of her.  She does not get along too well with all the other cats (we have seven) although she can be aggressive.  If you put out new cat food she is usually the first cat to hop on the counter.  Oddly enough the other two animals I brought into this marriage were both black.  I miss both of them, especially Daisy, the first dog I ever raised from a pup and also trained.  When we were in the same room, her eyes never left me.  She was my dog.

Tags: affectionate, cat food, cats, Cool Hand Luke, Daisy, dogs, idiosyncracsies, marriage, my dog, pets
Posted in animals, local, marriage, pets, relationships, time | No Comments »

Do all couples go through this?  She was complaining I would steal her half of the comforter away from her waking her up.  And she usually did not fall asleep again so quickly.  I decided to give each of us our own sheet.  It seems to be working.  I have been waking her up less.  Marriage is working out every detail–especially when there is some problem between the two of you.  You are not always successful but you need to try.

Tags: comforter, couples, marriage, need to try, sheets, sleep, working out details
Posted in balance, knowledge&learning, life, love, marriage, relationships, wisdom | No Comments »

Sometimes your woman just wants to be held.  No explanations.  No words–just held tightly when her world has collapsed.  I keep forgetting this.  And have to remind myself.  A hug will just suffice.  And hold her until she lets go.  It is so simple but I forget this.  Hugs do wonders.  Don’t try to help her with your explanations.  Just hug her until she lets go.

Tags: hold her, hugs, hugs do wonders, marriage, no explanations, no words, so simple, world has collapsed, your woman
Posted in life, love, marriage, relationships, wisdom | 2 Comments »

The worse thing about depression is you isolate yourself.  Staying in the house reinforces your isolation.  Going out in the sunlight is therapeutic.  All of a sudden you are exposed to different and other worlds.

Even if you do not talk to others (and this is hard not to do), you realize your world is not the only world.  There are multiple universes around you evolving.  A simple thing like going to the post office or the local supermarket can make a difference in your life.  You rub elbows with other people.

You hear snatches of conversations even if it is not directed at you.  It makes a difference.  Others have struggles in their life.  It is so easy to magnify your problems.  Going out exposes you to other peoples’ lives.

And there are those who have fractured relationships–marriages that are breaking up or simply for one reason or another are presently under a lot of stress.  And you overhear conversations that reflect this.

You are not alone.  You may find yourself reaching out to others.  And none of this would have happened if you continued to isolate yourself.  Go out.  It matters.  And reach out to others.  Your problems may shrink in proportion to others.  Isolation is never good.

Tags: conversation, depression, go out, isolate yourself, magnify your problems, marriage, other people, post office, reach out to others, relationships, stay in the house, stress, struggles in life, sunlight, supermarket, talk to others, therapeutic, you are not alone, your problems, your world
Posted in balance, health, knowledge&learning, life, local, mental health, relationships, time, wisdom | No Comments »

You gotta keep promises (to your wife).  It matters.  She has to know she can rely on you.  The only way she can do that is by you fulfilling your promises to her.  If you keep breaking your promises to her, she will not be able to trust you.  And it matters so make sure you do not break any promises to her unless it is out of your control.  It all matters.

Tags: break promises, it matters, keep promises, marriage, rely on you, trust, wife
Posted in balance, knowledge&learning, life, marriage, relationships, wisdom | No Comments »

My wife did not want to put a paper clip on the documents she spent six hours preparing.  We had a short conversation regarding that and I finally let it go.  It seemed such a small thing.  And I did not understand but I acquiesced.  It was her business.  Later on she revealed the reason.  Sometimes we don’t want to do a certain thing.  And it is really a small matter.  And sometimes it is not.  You just have to let it go.  And not force the issue.

Tags: documents, just have to let it go, marriage, my wife, paper clip, relationships, wisdom
Posted in balance, local, love, marriage, mental health, relationships, wisdom | No Comments »

I have to thank both of my wives for one thing.  Both love cats and dogs.  When I was growing up I never had any pets.  My Mom simply was too fastidious.  She could not tolerate any messes they might make.  When I married Robin we usually had at least one dog and one cat.  And now I have a menagerie with Lynelle:  seven cats and four dogs.  I would not want to live my life any other way.  I love all my pets.  They daily enrich my life.

Tags: animals, cats, dogs, enrich my life daily, fastidious, love, love my pets, marriage, menagerie, my Mom, my two wives, never had pets while growing up, pets
Posted in animals, life, local, love, marriage, nature, pets, relationships | No Comments »

In a marriage each person does what he/she wants within reason.  My wife likes to do the laundry so she does the laundry.  I am driven to make sure we get at least one good meal a day so I do most of the cooking.

She balances the checkbook to the penny.  I never liked doing that so I certainly do not mind.  I stopped even writing in it for I would make small errors in it posting figures and when we got our monthly statement it would take her hours to find the errors.

There are some things I do for she simply won’t do them.  I empty and put new litter in the cat litter boxes.  I do the shopping.  I am not sure why but every time she goes with me we spend too much money.  Besides, she does not like to shop.

I do not like to clean.  She does just about all of it.  I do vacuum occasionally.  I could go on and on.  A couple divides the tasks as much as possible along the lines of what you want to do.

Of course, there are always tasks neither like doing and one person just decides to do them.

Tags: balance, balance the checkbook, cat litter boxes, chores, clean the house, cleaning, cook meals, couples, daily tasks, divide the work, do laundry, grocery shopping, marriage, money, my wife, shopping, vacuum cleaner
Posted in balance, life, love, marriage, money, relationships, time, wisdom | No Comments »

A sense of humor is everything.  Others often exaggerate the severity of their problems.  Laughing at yourself defuses your seriousness.  You know your marriage is in trouble when you stop laughing at one another permanently.  In every marriage this happens occasionally but as long as you still can make each laugh it lightens your load.  It is so easy to think the weight of the world is on your shoulders.  The best comedians make you laugh at things that are painful.  Humor gives you a better perspective of your situation.  It is too easy to magnify our importance.  It cuts right through that.

Tags: comedians, humor, laugh at yourself, laughter, lighten your load, marriage, perspective, sense of humor, seriousness, weight of the world, your problems
Posted in balance, humor, life, love, marriage, mental health, relationships, time, wisdom | No Comments »

It was one small thing:  my dirty socks were sometimes inside out but finally she started complaining about it for she did the laundry and had to make them right side out.  Finally I made sure the dirty socks I placed on the dryer were right side in.

It was a small thing but marriage is composed of many small acts.  Things you work out between you.  And every marriage is different.  It was important to her that I not place my dirty socks inside out on the dryer so I did it.  Little things matter.

Tags: balance, clothes dryer, dirty socks, laundry, little things matter, love, many small acts, marriage, relationships, socks inside out, washing machine, wisdom, work things out between you
Posted in balance, life, local, love, marriage, relationships, wisdom | No Comments »

After seven years my wife and I are still struggling with this.  I get up before her and have sufficient time to wake up and slide into my day.  I usually get up two or three hours before her.  I have my own routine to greet my day.

Unfortunately my wife often does not have a chance to do the same.  When she gets up I am usually revved and wide awake.  I don’t know how many times my wife has lost her temper at me because I did not permit her time to get up and awake and would not stop talking to her.

Then my feelings are hurt.  And it may takes hours for us to recover from that.  I have suggested she go to the office and do her devotionals there and wait until she is ready for company.

She would indicate this by then entering the living room.  Of course I would leave her alone while she is in the office.  I have suggested this before.  I am hoping she tries this out.  I do not know why this is so hard to work this out between the two of us.  We will see.

Tags: devotionals, marriage, morning routine, my wife, relationships, time to wake up, work out problems
Posted in God, balance, knowledge&learning, marriage, relationships, time, wisdom | No Comments »

A marriage (or any other committed relationship) gives you another chance to do your childhood all over.  That seems like an odd statement but think about it:  your mate comes from at best similarly though not totally alike childhoods raised by different parents.

You always have blind spots.  And so does your partner.  Marriage gives you an opportunity to expose some of these.  And change in the process.  Live with a person day in and day out and you have seen the positive and negative points of your partner.

And some of these points you were blind to until you had them pointed out usually in some kind of conflict.  Every relationship has conflict.  And conflict forces you to reexamine attitudes you possess that you may not have given much thought to until they caused you problems.

Usually couples who do not fight with one another are not dealing with their differences and flaws they possess.  Compromises ensure the success in the relationship.  And sparks usually fly in the process.

Eventually hopefully the rough edges between both of you are smoothed out.  Marriage gives you the opportunity to face blind spots and grow.  In a way no other common institution does.

Tags: blind spots, childhood, compromise, conflict, couples, marriage, parents, relationships, smooth out rough edges, sparks fly, we are flawed, your mate, your partner
Posted in balance, children, knowledge&learning, life, love, marriage, relationships, time, wisdom | No Comments »