‘You add something to my life,’ she said recently.  It came out of the blue.  I wish she would say nice things more often.  Too many times she “jumps” on me for something I did not do or did incorrectly.  It is so easy to criticize a mate.  I am as guilty as her in this regard.

What if for everything I did wrong she said something positive towards me.  I could strive to do the same.  Gratitude is a two way street.  It is so easy to focus on the negative.  I have been as guilty as any one else.

Praise always has to be genuine to be effective.  Others wilt in the face of too much criticism.  And I need to work on this as much as my Other.

The Reality Of Can’t

Author: siggy

The reality of can’t.  There are some things we can not do.  Everyone is handicapped.  Of course, the handicaps are often invisible.  If there were thousands of talents in the world maybe you only possess several hundred.

The only tragedy of the word can’t is when you give up too soon and never find out what you can truly do.  And unfortunately that happens all the time.  That is why a computer can not replace a superb teacher (or parent or friend or mate) who can inspire you to greater heights.  No computer can do that.

Just realize there are some things you will never be able to do.  It is not one of your gifts.  Period.  And that is okay.  I believe each person I meet can do something well.  Much better than I ever can.  You just have to find his/her talent.

So don’t write off others, appreciate what they can do.  And accept your limitations.  But never give up on your talents.  Never.  Always try.  Don’t quit prematurely.

And it is not enough you can do something.  You have to want to.  That is another reality of the word.  Talent is not enough.  We are all wired differently.  So you have to listen to your mind and body.  And that is really part of the equation of the word can’t.

I still never forgot the passage from Proverbs in the Bible, which states and this is a paraphrase:  it is better to have a meal with others where much love is displayed and the pickings are thin, than to have a feast where very little love is exhibited.  Of course, the passage stated this much more succinctly.

Everyone has been in a crowd and felt very lonely for he/she did not have one genuine connection with anyone.  Love matters.  It always does.  It dispels fear, worry.

How many people have moved to a strange, unfamiliar area because they knew one person.  One person is all it takes to dispel loneliness and give you the courage to venture out into foreign territory.heart

Our mate ought to be a helpmate, your best friend, your only lover.  Yet if she/he is the only one it places too much pressure on that person.  It is better to have a network set up of friends–others who also love you too.

The well which you draw from to love others is endless.  Love is infinite.  The more you can give the more you have.  And it comes back ten fold.  It is the only thing that matters.  When everything is stripped from you that is all that is left:  love.  It is the only thing that matters in life.

There are many very lonely millionaires out there who have discovered:  money can’t buy happiness.  The best part about it is love is free.  So give it away.  You will never be disappointed.

I am convinced that the only reason marriage was put on this earth was to teach one another how to love.  I know I am extremely self-centered and am forced in this relationship to consider another.

Your mate see everything about you.  Given enough time together, your other sees all the different sides of you–the worst as well as the best.

Each partner has rough edges and what ensures the success of the marriage is how well you work our your differences.  That takes time and the process can be rough as it often is and hopefully as time goes some of these rough edges are smoothed out.

Each marriage is incompatible.  Each of us comes from different backgrounds–raised by different people all imperfect.  At best, our childhoods were somewhat similar but sometimes not.

Imagine how boring it would be if we understand each other perfectly.  One lifetime is really not enough time to learn about each other.

Love and forgiveness is the glue that holds a marriage together.  And mystery and mystique drives it.