This is the final hour of my visit with my friend and his wife.  Before I know it I will be transported back to my house.  I wonder if the familiar will appear “new” at least for a short time.  I will have to rediscover my house, my music and books, again.  And I left out my mate and my garden.  Before I know it everything will appear the same.  As if I never left.  What an illusion?!

I can’t react blindly to my mate.  Otherwise, I am controlled by her.  I have to choose my reaction.  If she is angry, I can’t react in anger.  I can deflect her moods better that way.  This was not my idea but I read it in a book.  And it makes perfect sense.  I balked initially.  But I tried it out.  And it does work.  Anger begets anger.  It says this in Proverbs (which is in the Old Testament).  The idea is not new.  There is a time for anger but not all the time.  It is a powerful emotion and you have to be careful when to vent.  Otherwise, it gets abused.

I am allowed to say the words, ‘I can’t!’  Granted my mate has heard those two words too often.  Nevertheless I am allowed to say them.  Sometimes she is being unreasonable insisting on something which I can’t fulfill.  Other times she is not and I have to try harder.  Nevertheless, I always have the right to say those words.  Along with the words, ‘I won’t.’  I have to set limits on other people’s demands, even my “other’s”.  “No” can be a pretty powerful word but you can’t go there all the time then it loses its force and your mate gets tired of your negativity.  You have to be more careful with its use.