The worst diagnosis I ever received was being considered mentally ill.  I had to fight for decades for my sanity.  I doubted my own mind.  I did not trust me.  And that is devastating when you do not even trust your own mind.  I had to understand me and also be able to rely on me.  The stigma my parents felt when I started breaking down became internalized.  I hated me every time I end up in a hospital or psychiatric ward.  The treatment I received was, also, devastating.  I was no longer treated as a citizen with all the rights due me.  I became a second class citizen with no civil rights.  They were all taken away from me because I broke down in a way society frowned upon.  It was not my fault.  Some people become drug addicts.  Some become alcoholics.  I was punished by the system because I was manic-depressive.  They would shoot me full of Thorazine to stamp out the mania which was not my fault.  I was stigmatized for being mentally ill.  I read everything I could to understand me and how to find a way I could exist in this society.  I do take medication now for my condition but all I do is take some pills in the morning and then evening and then forget about it.  I know who I am and like who I am.  I have learned to reach out to others.  I do not want others to go through the hell I did.  If reading this blog makes it a little easier for you on your journey I will be happy.  This is part 1 of this discussion.