We need to accept certain things are out of our control.  There is always an illusion we are in control of our lives but is only relative.  When we accept that there are always things in our lives that we have no control of, it is easier to accept our limitations.

If we insist that we control everything which is really impossible it is batting our heads against the wall.  And the things that are in our control become harder because of the frustration which has to ensue when we can’t accept our limitations.

Every person is going to die, age and eventually lose the level of control you once had in your life.  That is reality.  If you can’t accept the eventuality of that, you lose what is always in your control.

Your attitude is always in your command.  Accepting that there will always be things out of your control and making the most of what you can produces peace of mind.  There are always things in your control.  And you just have to exert them.

The serenity prayer illustrates this perfectly and this is a paraphrase:  accept the things you have no control of and change what is in your power and have the wisdom to know the difference.  There will always be things out of your control.

I had a major struggle with a bipolar disorder (then called manic-depression).  And there was a seven year period where I was out of control (until I was stabilized on lithium in 1972).  It took even (???) years until I was properly diagnosed.  I went through hell and pain.

I never tortured myself with the question, “Why?”  There are no answers to that.  Life is not fair.  Every one has varying success in overcoming their hurdles.

But if you start asking the question, “Why or Why me”, there will only be silence.  God allowed the devil to take away everything from Job (in the Old Testament) including his family, his possessions.

Eventually the devil gave up on him.  God restored Job and his health.  I am not saying that if you are ill God will do the same.  But if you look at yourself and rail at God for your station in life, it will only make your life harder.  And make those around you miserable.

Accept the things you have no control of, change the things you can and have the wisdom to know the difference (really a paraphrase of the serenity prayer).  Stop asking yourself the question why and just move on with your life.

Sometimes life is fair.  Sometimes it isn’t.  And sometimes it never is.  I am reminded of the famous anecdote of Eisenhower whose mother told him what you have to do is deal with the hand you are dealt with.  The fact life is not fair.  Some people appear to have it very easy.  They have no money worries.  Their life seems to flow.  And there is no doubt money (the lack of) can cause quite a bit of worry.

The fact is we are all unequally gifted.  Some people are very talented:  can do almost anything and be successful.  Some people have more.  Some people have less.  Envy can eat at you.  There is a good reason “Thou shall not covet” is one of the ten commandments.

But when you rail at the higher powers for being so unfair with your worldly station, it only leads to problems and dissatisfaction.  Pray to God with thanksgiving.  There is a reason for that advice in the Bible.

Otherwise we are this whining entity wanting this and that from above.  I think of God being above and millions maybe billions of strings are pulling at him all wanting it a different way.  Realizing everything is by grace and thanking God for all your blessings corrects your dissatisfaction with your life.

Insisting on God (or a higher power) being fair only can frustrate you.  Because life is NOT FAIR.  The serenity prayer is worth repeating and these are not the exact words:  what is in your control change, accept what isn’t and have the wisdom to know the difference.  These are not the exact words but it gets the point across.  Grab the control in your life you can, realize what you have no control of.  And accept the results.  That is the beginning of wisdom.