Siggy's Blurbs: Siggy's Edge of Country …

You gotta keep promises (to your wife).  It matters.  She has to know she can rely on you.  The only way she can do that is by you fulfilling your promises to her.  If you keep breaking your promises to her, she will not be able to trust you.  And it matters so make sure you do not break any promises to her unless it is out of your control.  It all matters.

Tags: break promises, fulfilling your promises, it matters, keep promises, marriage, rely on you, trust, wife
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Nothing is more precious than your name.  When that become tarnished, it becomes very difficult to get back.  Your reputation is everything.

Proverbs in the Bible says your name is more precious than all the money in the world.  That is a paraphrase but an accurate one.

You spend a lifetime building up a reputation and have to guard it with your life.  There is nothing you own that is more important than your name.  Your integrity is everything.

And there is no greater test to it than when things go wrong.  Do you handle problems face on and do not become defensive or give excuses when you make a mistake.  It matters.

To me the greatest test of a company (like a person) is when things go wrong.  Do you associate the name of the company with respect and integrity to the customer they serve.

Companies spend a lifetime building their name so you associate the company with courtesy and respect and trust.  Their name (like your individual name) is everything so be very careful of your reputation.  It is everything.

Tags: Bible, company, courtesy, customer, God, integrity, money, problems, Proverbs, respect, tarnished, things go wrong, trust, your name, your reputation
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Why do couples fight so hard about money?  The reasons are simple although not so easily corrected.  What you spend your money on represents your values.

And it is also a control thing:  who makes the decision on what.  And sometimes when you do not have enough you bicker more.

I have no easy answers except a couple needs to make up their mind who makes the decisions on what.  It is also a matter of trust.  Usually one partner is freer with spending and the other is tighter.

That is actually a good thing.  You have to work things out between the two of you and each person acts as a check and balance on the other.

A couple has to have agreement on their handling of money.  Otherwise, there will be constant conflict in that area.  That is one major area each couple just has to work out.

Tags: a control thing, check and balance, conflict, couples, fight about money, handling of money, marriage, money, trust, your values
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Today is Father’s Day:  it is not a given:  you earn it.  You earn it by doing your job right, supporting your family, going to work every day, even when you do not feel like it.

You earn it by spending time with your kids, day in day out.  Being a father is a privilege.  It is not simply genetics.  It is loving your kids even when they “mess up”.

You know damn well you are flawed.  Being a father is apologizing to your kids when you made a mistake.  God knows, we all err.

Being a father is encouraging each kid to follow his/her dreams even if that was not a path you would have followed but each kid has their own dream.

Being a father is encouraging your kid when they fall down and encouraging them to get up again and not give up.

There are so many things a father does.  Maybe the most important thing a father can do is to set the example for them to follow.  There is no more important thing a parent can do than the right thing even when it costs.  Honesty and integrity have their price.

Being a parent is forgiving your mate when he/she has made a mistake.  Being a parent (and father) is loving your wife at all costs.  Maybe that is the greatest example you can set.  Transmit fidelity and trust and love.  I can not sum up being a father in three more important words than that.

Maybe I will add another:  integrity, fidelity, trust and love.  Transmit all those things to your children and you have succeeded in your role as a father.  Being a father is a lifetime occupation.  You are in it for the long haul.  A lifetime.

Tags: apologize for mistakes, being a father, do the right thing, don't give up, encouragement, fall down and get up, Father's Day, fidelity, follow dreams, forgiveness, genetics, go to work, God, honesty, integrity, lifetime occupation, long haul, love, love your wife, loving your kids, made a mistake, privilege, set an example, spend time with your kids, support your family, trust, we all err, we are all flawed, your mate
Posted in children, God, knowledge&learning, life, love, marriage, relationships, time, wisdom, your job/mission/profession | No Comments »

Love is not sex.  And sex is not always love.  Love transcends everything.  Sex can be love.  It is the physical part of love.  If you were to watch TV and movies you see portrayed casual sex all the time.

Sex is not casual.  It imprints at a deep level one person with the other.  It always has a price so do not be fooled:  there is no such thing as casual sex.

Yes, sex is physical yet it transcends everything so next time you are tempted to break your bond with your primary partner think twice and resist temptation.  There is always a price to pay if you stray.  It may be one you will regret.  Broken trust is extremely hard to get back.  And often you can’t regain it back so think awfully hard next time you are tempted.

Tags: break your bond, broken trust, casual sex, do not stray, God, has a price, imprint, love, love is not sex, love transcends, movies, physical, price to pay, regret, resist temptation, sex, sex is not casual, tempted, trust, TV, your partner
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Telling your partner “I am sorry I hurt you” alone does not cut it. Somehow you have to stop the behavior which has hurt your partner over and over.

Your partner wants you to apologize and it starts there but she/he wants you to stop the offending behavior. Somehow your partner wants to trust you again. Every person is flawed. Nevertheless, if you do not stop hurting your partner you can not be trusted further and the apology comes off insincere.

No one wants to be hurt continually. Yes, an sincere apology starts the process toward healing but the next step is to stop hurting your partner the same way.

I know perfectly how flawed I am but I need to make an sincere effort to stop the offending behavior. When that occurs, my partner can gradually trust me again.

It is so easy to point fingers and excuse your behavior. Human beings are masters of deception. Your partner sees you at your worst. Forgiveness at the end of the day is essential for hurts can fester and causes you to explode at situations that are really nothing to do with the reasons you are upset.

Jesus when asked how many times you should be forgiven said, ‘Seventy times Seven.’ The point is each partner has to forgive the other for hurting each other endlessly. There is really no limit to the times you have to forgive the other.

Nevertheless, your partner wants more than an apology: he or she want you to stop your offending behavior. Then your partner will be able to gradually trust you.

Forgiveness is an essential first step. The next step is to stop hurting your partner. It is so easy to point fingers at someone for breakdowns in communication. It is so easy to rationalize your behavior. As I said in the last blog I wrote the only person you have most control of is yourself.

You can not change your behavior just to influence your partner. That is manipulation. Your change has to be genuine and have no strings attached.

Your partner has to be free to accept or reject your new behavior. It is time that enables your partner to trust you again. That is why I said saying you are sorry does not cut it alone. Yes, you have to first be contrite but then you have to change your behavior. That is the true test and determines first whether your partner will trust you again.

The hardest thing is the world is true communication. That takes time and effort and forgiveness and not every one is up to it. Thus so many divorces. I remember a friend once telling me marriage is work (I was single then). I laughed at his statement then. I am no longer laughing at him. He was right.

Tags: apologize, apology, Bible, change behavior, communication, control of yourself, divorce, every person is flawed, excuse your behavior, flawed, forgive each other, forgiveness, genuine, God, healing, hurt your partner, I am sorry, insincere, Jesus, manipulation, marriage is work, partner, point fingers, rationalize, seventy times seven, stop offending behavior, trust, trust you again
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People who you know always fulfill your expectations:  believe the best in them and often that is what you get.  It is true you can not trust every person.  And you should not — for your own protection.  Nevertheless, have low expectations of others and often people will surprise you.  That is a paradox:  expect the best yet do not demand they meet your high standards and expectations.  Every person has their own timing and of course you usually do not have a pulse on their life for you only see them most of the time for minutes.  Even your mate has to be allowed his/her own timing and their own space.  People will let you down but you certainly know in your heart how many times you have failed others so learn to have low expectations and believe the best in others.  Surprises in your life will never cease.

Tags: believe the best, expectations, God, relationships, their own space, their own timing, trust, we all fail
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