Sep
14
2011
We never meet the expectations of our mate. Sometimes they are reasonable. Sometimes they are not. Each of us are very flawed. Another way to say the same thing is each person sins. Not one would say they are perfect (or never makes a mistake). That is why forgiveness at the end of the day is so important–to wipe our slate clean. We never completely meet the expectations of our mate. It is impossible. We are all imperfect.
Nov
22
2010
Every marriage is flawed. I don’t know how many famous couples announce the reason for their divorce is ‘irrevocable differences’. Divorce today is too easy. These couples act surprised there are rough edges to work out. And bail out when there is sustained friction. In the words of a friend, ‘there are no doors’. Everything has to be worked out. That is the way God meant it. Of course one person can break up a marriage. Both persons have to believe that. Without God it is very difficult to stay in a marriage when things get too difficult. God detests divorce. And far too many people break up leaving a string of broken families in their wake. We are all imperfect including our marriages. Every marriage is flawed.
Apr
8
2010
Sex gives you a chance to do it all over again. Your childhood, your upbringing, your faults, your parents’ hangups all is revealed in the sexual relationship you engage in.
A committed extended relationship gives you another chance to work through your make-up, your psychological, deep rooted difficulties.
Nothing is hidden in sex. You may think so but it is not. I like a line from a Tim Buckley song, “In secret divorce they will never survive” from the song “Goodbye and Hello.”
Everything is revealed in sex. You may not be aware of it but it is. And your partner has their own separate set of problems. And somehow you need to work it out. Sex is the playground. And some relationships do not make it (and dissolve).
Sex exposes deep seeded difficulties when you raise kids where your childhood and upbringing is revealed. Every family is dysfunctional. We are all imperfect and flawed. Sex reveals this in a way that almost nothing else does.
Flesh to flesh nothing is hidden. It is just a question if you are willing to face your hangups and those of your partner. Not every one is willing to work through this.
Dec
19
2009
Sometimes you just have to let things go. It does not matter if you or your mate was right. You have to give your mate a clean slate every day. ‘Don’t let the sun go down on your wrath’–lines from the New Testament.
The devil uses unforgiveness to pit one mate against the other. And we are all imperfect. And each day each person make mistakes so it is important to let them go and start the day afresh.
There is wisdom in those lines from the Bible. If you do not forgive the other for their failures, resentment builds and drives a wedge between you.
Forgiveness allows you to love your partner fully and with humility. Each person knows in their heart that they are not perfect so why should you expect your partner to be otherwise?
Oct
21
2009
Don’t let the sun go down on your wrath. This advice from the Bible is a good one. Another way to interpret this line is don’t nurse hurts in your marriage. Let them go. Start each day afresh.
I am imperfect and so is my partner. If you don’t forgive your partner at the end of the day for being imperfect (for hurting you), the wounds just fester.
Everyone sins (or should I say is imperfect or human). You know in your heart you sin everyday why should you expect your other to be otherwise.
Forgiveness at the end of the day wipes your slate clean. That is why it is healthy not to nurse hurts in your marriage.
We are all imperfect and whether or not you think your partner deserves it you have to forgive your partner at the end of the day. It is the right thing to do.
I really believe marriage was put on this earth only for two reasons–to teach us how to forgive and love others and these lessons start off with our primary relationships–our mates.
Jun
11
2009
Never put down a drunk. Who are you to judge? That is that person’s weakness. And you know damn well you are imperfect. So who am I to judge simply because alcohol is not one of my problems. God knows I have many weaknesses and sin every day. So never put down a drunk. Remember how imperfect you are and have compassion on that person for you are not there only by the grace of God. So again, never put down a drunk.
May
22
2009
When love is not enough,
You fight
Wonder
If you are right for each other
When love is not enough,
Angry, hurt words are spoken
Shattering the peace
When love is not enough
Sex disappears
And you wonder
What you ever
Saw in one another
When love is not enough
I have to forgive
My partner
For being
As imperfect
As I Am
When love is not enough
You have to start
From the beginning
Uncertain, unsure
Never knowing
Is love enough
Apr
18
2009
I am convinced that the only reason marriage was put on this earth was to teach one another how to love. I know I am extremely self-centered and am forced in this relationship to consider another.
Your mate see everything about you. Given enough time together, your other sees all the different sides of you–the worst as well as the best.
Each partner has rough edges and what ensures the success of the marriage is how well you work our your differences. That takes time and the process can be rough as it often is and hopefully as time goes some of these rough edges are smoothed out.
Each marriage is incompatible. Each of us comes from different backgrounds–raised by different people all imperfect. At best, our childhoods were somewhat similar but sometimes not.
Imagine how boring it would be if we understand each other perfectly. One lifetime is really not enough time to learn about each other.
Love and forgiveness is the glue that holds a marriage together. And mystery and mystique drives it.
Apr
4
2009
The first thing you do with broken records is realize you are one, too. Our mate appears, at times, to be a broken record: the same problems come up again and again and the same solutions are offered. And your partner does not seem to approach their problems any differently.
Be compassionate. You are no different. As you do not want your mate to give up on you, do not give up on your mate.
Each of us are very flawed and not only that appear “stuck” sometimes. Give your mate the same privilege. You do not want her to give up on you so do not give up on her.
I often wondered why someone should never give up on a drug addict. Bear with me. This is an appropriate example.
Sometimes a drug addict is repeatedly in and out of facilities. One should never give up on that person and I have to say you do not want to enable the person but nevertheless you should never give up on that person. The reason for that is simple. One never knows when that person is going to turn the corner, recover and stop being an addict.
In the same way, entrenched habits sometimes will change. The thing is not to alienate the other in the process. In a marriage each person comes with baggage. The person often is not aware of some of that baggage. That is one thing marriage does: change the other. That is the most common institution to do that.
Every marriage is really dysfunctional. The family each of the persons grew up in was dysfunctional. The only question is to what degree. We are all imperfect.
What marriage does (or any other primary relationship) is to bring out your shortcomings.
In a relationship nothing is usually hidden for too long, and to go back to the original topic every partner hears the same old story from the other. Anyway, that is the way it seems after awhile.
All you can do is love your partner. Sometimes a partner will turn the corner in a certain area and sometimes not. Each partner has to love the other. I am convinced marriage was set up for one reason–to teach us how to love unconditionally.
We are all broken records at times but all we want is to be loved despite our faults. So next time your partner sounds likes a broken record realize you are one, too, just a different one. Flaws are flaws.
Copyright © 2009 - Siggy's Blurbs: Siggy's Edge of Country … | Entries (RSS) | Comments (RSS)
WordPress theme by 
9th sphere website design