Every poem I write is pared to the essential.  That was the one lesson I had to learn over and over in my two years of creative writing.  The beauty of a written piece is always what is left out–the empty spaces.  I had to look at my poems repeatedly to see what was necessary to say.  I do not have to say something directly if it was said already even if was only said implicitly.  Some teachers may use the statement, “Show don’t tell”.  This is very difficult to do since it is my own work.  It is hard to view it objectively.  Of course, a good editor helps this process.  It is very common for a beginner to resist this process.  Everything they write they think is “gold.”

I am a little luckier than most:  my wife is a fine editor.  I do not hesitate to change something if her advice is on target.  If her criticism is right, I will make the necessary changes.  Your instincts have to be accurate.  If a line (or a phrase or a word) can be taken out and the poem still stands, it was not necessary.  Sometimes the opposite is necessary:  you need to add something.  There may be ambiguity you don’t want or maybe you want it there.  You, also, may have to rearrange some lines.  Your piece is not coherent.  The reader can’t follow the poem easily.  What are you trying to achieve with the piece?  Sometimes that is not an easy question to answer and may determine the changes you make.  You always have to make the decision when to leave the poem alone (and come back to it later) or whether it is even worth working on.  Every word has to count.

I am allowed to say the words, ‘I can’t!’  Granted my mate has heard those two words too often.  Nevertheless I am allowed to say them.  Sometimes she is being unreasonable insisting on something which I can’t fulfill.  Other times she is not and I have to try harder.  Nevertheless, I always have the right to say those words.  Along with the words, ‘I won’t.’  I have to set limits on other people’s demands, even my “other’s”.  “No” can be a pretty powerful word but you can’t go there all the time then it loses its force and your mate gets tired of your negativity.  You have to be more careful with its use.

Others can’t help revealing themselves:  all you have to do to understand this is to eavesdrop on peoples’ conversations.  What is occupying their minds, their present concerns comes out in their speech to other people.

Sometimes if you know the person, what is left out is revealing.  Other times you discover what is really on their minds when you listen.  Of course, some people are closed books and keep their thoughts and feelings to themselves.

Even then, you have some idea how they are doing:  ninety per cent of communication is non-verbal.  You have to look past the words they utter.

For others, you have to sense what they are saying jives with their body language.  In any case, most people can’t help revealing themselves one way or another.  You just have to pay attention.

You always need a mission to write and at the same time you must have an imaginary audience.  It is that audience which gives your writing focus.  It is striving to reach them which will give you the words you need to complete your mission.

The words necessary to reach your audience will come if you know why you are writing.  You may not know how to get there but the words will materialize as you make your journey.

Your only job when you are complete with this leg of the journey is not to confuse the reader and take out everything that gets in the way.  If you can still delete your passage and your writing stands it was not necessary.

You always need a mission to write and that always comes first.  Know why you are writing.  And to whom.  The words always follow.  They do not come first but are always last.  Start with your mission.

Sometimes I have to let words my wife say go in my ear and out the other.  I certainly know how absurd I can be at times.  So sometimes I will let her words go out one ear.  If I hold them to her (???), it causes too many problems.  So instead, I will forget them.  Or forgive them for the effect they had on me.  Sometimes the words uttered were there to get a rise out of me.  In any case I will act as if they never occurred.  This is not a blanket statement to always ignore her but just sometimes.

I never forgot his words.  He gave me back my life.  I had asked my doctor, “Do I have a right to a normal life, maybe to once get married, to have kids one day?”

His response was immediate, ”You have as much right as anyone else!”  I had struggled with a bipolar disorder for over twenty years and had been in and out of hospitals.  I had felt stigmatized by my diagnosis and treatment.  And had felt cursed by my illness.

His immediate response gave me back my life.  I did not know then that within ten years I would get married and two kids would soon follow.  I never forgot his answer.