Siggy’s Blurbs

My Dad was dead twelve years and I was still angry at him.  I still remember the last conversation I had with him and he said he was more impressed with the million dollars his future son-in-law made selling his company than anything I did.  My writing did not matter to him.  I tried to tell him, maybe, my words might have more effect on people than my future brother-in-law’s money.  It was to no avail.  Money meant more to him than anything else.  I never got “the blessing” from him.  And even today, years later I was still angry about his rejection of who I was.  He was the one person I wanted to please.  And even now the hurt and pain has not gone away.

Tags: "the blessing", angry, brother-in-law, hurt and pain, million dollars, money, my Dad, my words, rejection, son-in-law, wanted to please, writing
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I am hesitant to go to a high school reunion.  For many reasons.  Maybe, the main reason is there is nothing there for me any longer.  It is over forty years ago I graduated from high school.  I still remember going back to my hometown in the early seventies and I realized I could not go back.

All the people I knew were either in college or had moved away.  The racial complexion of my community had changed drastically.  Then it had become mostly Cuban.

Considerably more time has passed since then.  I am not the same person.  Of course, there are other reasons.  All these people have become strangers.  For that matter, the few people I wanted to keep up with I did.  There were not many.  Two of them were on the tennis team I played.

There is always the fear no one will remember me although I am always curious what memories anyone had of me.  If any?!  Another reason is I fear I may not have anything to show for my life.  Some people may have become doctors, teachers and hold advanced degrees.  I have none.

The last fear is one I have to resist.  To some degree I have done what I wanted to, which is to write although I have not made a living from it.  I never had to.  There may be no reason to connect with anyone.  There is too much “posturing” that goes on in these reunions.

Time is really fleet.  It seemed like I just graduated from high school and that is just an illusion.  A lifetime has gone by.  Sometimes I do not know how to account for that.  And maybe that is my worst fear.  I squandered my precious time.

Tags: advanced degree, college, graduate, high school reunion, hometown, I cannot go back, lifetime, show for my life, squander time, tennis team, time, time is fleet, time is precious, write, writing
Posted in balance, death, knowledge&learning, life, relationships, time, writing, your job/mission/profession | 2 Comments »

Every poem I write is pared to the essential.  That was the one lesson I had to learn over and over in my two years of creative writing.  The beauty of a written piece is always what is left out–the empty spaces.  I had to look at my poems repeatedly to see what was necessary to say.  I do not have to say something directly if it was said already even if was only said implicitly.  Some teachers may use the statement, “Show don’t tell”.  This is very difficult to do since it is my own work.  It is hard to view it objectively.  Of course, a good editor helps this process.  It is very common for a beginner to resist this process.  Everything they write they think is “gold.”

I am a little luckier than most:  my wife is a fine editor.  I do not hesitate to change something if her advice is on target.  If her criticism is right, I will make the necessary changes.  Your instincts have to be accurate.  If a line (or a phrase or a word) can be taken out and the poem still stands, it was not necessary.  Sometimes the opposite is necessary:  you need to add something.  There may be ambiguity you don’t want or maybe you want it there.  You, also, may have to rearrange some lines.  Your piece is not coherent.  The reader can’t follow the poem easily.  What are you trying to achieve with the piece?  Sometimes that is not an easy question to answer and may determine the changes you make.  You always have to make the decision when to leave the poem alone (and come back to it later) or whether it is even worth working on.  Every word has to count.

Tags: "show don't tell", "the empty spaces", beginner, creative writing, good editor, poem, poetry, reader, teachers, words, writing
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All I can do is just give it away.  It is my gift to you.  It is all I have.  Sometimes people I know read it.  Often it is strangers.  It is my gift.  My time.  I don’t know what else to do but give it away and hope someone out there benefits from it.  Life is full of treasures.  I only sample a few.  And share a few.  As I said, it is my gift to you.  Whoever, stumbles upon it.  It is all I have so enjoy it.  Mull it over if that is your pleasure or spit it out.  It comes from my core.  It is what I am.  And I don’t apologize.  It is me.  Maybe you will meet me halfway.  Maybe, not.  It is all I have.

Tags: blog, give it away, life, my gift, read, share, strangers, time, treasures, writing
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The local paper is more interesting  to me than the Sunday regional paper.  The accounts in the first paper are more personal.  Sometimes they are about people I know.  Other times the articles revolve around regions I am familiar with.

The news is more relevant to me.  I can’t always identify with the articles I read Sunday.  Sometimes the writing in the regional paper is too generic.  I want to read about news that affects me.

I live in a county that until recently had no red light.  Now it has one.  And that was news in the “Sun”, the local paper.  There is too much news in the “Patriot News” I just don’t care about.

Of course, the “Patriot News” has its place.  Lately, though, the Sunday paper just collects dust.  And I don’t miss it but I do “The Sun” when I don’t read it.

It only takes five or ten minutes to read but it is news I am always interested in.  It is always more personal.

Tags: articles, local newspaper, news, people I know, personal, Sunday paper, writing
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I want to get up slowly (when I can).  First, I may throw some sweat pants on, make coffee and wake up gradually.  I don’t always have that privilege, but most times I do.  The dogs always want to go out in the yard immediately and are not shy about it.

I often get up before my wife although that is not always the case.  If she is still sleeping I try to walk around quietly.  I  make sure our “menagerie” has food and water.

After I am sufficiently “coffeed up” and I am awake I start looking around and figuring out what tasks need my attention.

Before that though, if my “muse” is telling me to write or edit, I obey it, then return to my duties.

Before all that, after I am fully alert I may do a quick devotional and sometimes find myself thanking the Lord for all bounties.  This often happens spontaneously.

My wife may have some requests for tasks that need my attention.  At some point, I check our postal box and peruse our mail, being careful to put our bills in the proper file.

In the afternoon, I sometimes have appointments to go to (usually doctor’s or blood work).  This is typically my routine.

Tags: bills, blood test, bounty, daily mail, daily tasks, doctor appointment, feed the cats, feed the dogs, lab work, let the dogs out, morning coffee, morning devotional, my "muse", my daily routine, my duties, my wife, post office box, thank the Lord, wake up slowly, writing
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‘Your window to the world might be your own front door.  Your shiniest day might come in the middle of the night.’  Two lines from the Blackhawk song “That’s Just About Right”.  I identify with those two lines.

I am not sure I will ever do any thing earthshaking.  Nor will I ever be the President or some CEO of a corporation.  I realize maybe what I do in my own backyard might be important.

Notoriety or fame is overrated.  I remember reading in Bob Dylan’s autobiography how he wanted fame early on and then got it and wished he didn’t have it.  He wanted his children to have a normal existence and they could not.

Some weirdo was always showing up on his doorsteps.  Anonymity is really a gift.  And the famous lose it.  Dylan bemoaned its loss.  And realized fame was not what it was cut out to be.

I will continue to do what the Lord has called me to do.  Whether or not others recognize it.  The words I write if they impact at least one person they served their purpose.  I will continue to reach out and love the people around me.

The words from this song remind me to continue writing for it still matters to me no matter how many people read it.  So I continue for I know I have to.

Tags: "That's Just About Right", anonymity, Blackhawk, Bob Dylan, children, continue writing, famous, God, God calls you, music, notoriety or fame, reach out and love, the Lord, window to the world, words I write, write, writing, writing matters, your backyard, your own front door
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I write only non-fiction.  At least I call it that.  I have not been able to write fiction.  In fact, the prospect of attempting that has me terrified.

I know a fellow writer who has the opposite problem:  she is terrified of writing non-fiction.  I find that interesting.

There are authors I have seen who do both–write non-fiction as well as fiction.  To me that is also interesting.  I wonder what percent of authors can do both.  I really have no idea.

It would be interesting to me to explore that.  My mind just rebels every time I even consider writing fiction.

Should I just accept that?  Or should I explore further if I am able to compose fiction or just leave it at that:  I only write non-fiction and that is okay.

Tags: afraid to write, author, fellow writer, fiction vs non-fiction, non fiction, write fiction, writing
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When I read a poem of mine in public, I have the audience for the first ten seconds.  If I don’t capture their attention right away, I lose them so the beginnings of my poems have to be interesting and are important.  I do not read a poem in public if there is any part of it I am not satisfied with.  I can’t read the poem confidently and with the right inflections and feelings if I have any doubts concerning the poem.  I have to believe in the whole package, that the poem was put together well.  So with any piece of writing:  you can’t have any major doubts of it, if you want to submit it for publication.  It has to be as good as you can get it.

Tags: as good as you can get it, audience, beginning of poem important, believe in whole package, have no doubts about the poem, poem put together well, read a poem in public, read poem confidently, submit writing for publication, writing
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I believe the art that matters is just a question of being as genuine as you can.  The decision whether your art matters is really not yours but the reader.  All you can do is be as honest as possible and if you were someone out there will relate to your piece.  I like the definition of art that Tolstoi gave:  ‘art is infection.’  There should be no doubt about what is being relayed in your written piece, whatever the feelings and it should be immediate.  I came across this quote in a wonderful book on writing by Brenda Ueland, “If You Want To Write.”  There is no doubt the world is full of pseudo-art.  Always be as honest as you can.  That is all you can do.  No one likes a phony.

Tags: art, art is infection, art matters, be genuine, be honest, book on writing, Brenda Ueland, don't be phony, if you want to write, pseudo-art, reader, Tolstoy, writing
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I usually carry two pens on me and every corner of the house has jars of pens nearby particularity the living room.  I actually get anxious when I am too far from a pen.  I only buy Bic pens:  they are cheap and usually work.  When one starts to falter, I simply throw it away.  I do not use expensive pens.  I simply would lose them.

Two wives have made fun of me for I never want to be too far from a pen.  I have actually had fights with one about going out and buying another package of Bic pens when I had to look a little too long for a pen–maybe ten seconds instead of five.

The other is a little more tolerant about that and kind of laughs at me.  Maybe, that is why we are still married.  I get nervous when I am out and I only have one pen on me.  What if it runs out of ink or stops working?  Obviously I write.

Tags: Bic pens, buying pens, expensive pens, I get anxious, I write, jars of pens, laughs at me, living room, look for a pen, lose pens, my wife, pen runs out of ink, pens, still married, tolerant, writers, writing
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There is always something to write about.  It is a question of picking up a “thread” in your life and following it on paper if you are so inclined.

There is no such thing as writer’s block unless you have picked yourself clean and not allowed yourself any empty spaces or “down time” to put it another way.

Every day you have concerns and different thoughts are going through your head.  You just have start somewhere and follow it where ever it goes.

None of that happens if you do not allow yourself quiet moments.  Your brain really never stops.  You just have to physically stop and record and follow at least one line of thought.

Although it is always up to you whether you want to write and follow your thoughts on paper (or the keyboard).  It is always up to you.  Writing is only one form of communication.  You live to write, not write to live.

Tags: author, communication, computer, empty spaces, follow your thoughts, keyboard, live to write not write to live, paper, quiet moments, record your thoughts, something to write about, start somewhere to write, want to write, writer's block, writing, your brain never stops
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