I was depressed about the clutter in this house.  There were too many books, VCRs and LPs and I did not know where to start.  I know we have made some headway but not enough.  I can’t just get rid of stuff:  I have to run it by my “other”.  I really do not know where to start.  I was down to begin with and when I look around at the clutter I just got more depressed.  The house is out of control.  I don’t know where to start or do this mutually.  I need someone to come in and aid us in this process.  We have had one room we call a junk room.  We want it to be a guest room but it feels like it will never be cleared.  I step in it and I just shake my head.  I just don’t know what to do any longer.

Sometimes I do not know how to get past my depression.  Sure I can view my life and give all kind of reasons why but that does not help me.  Somehow I need to chip away at it.  I just don’t know where to start.  I know things don’t make me happy.  It is not possessions that keep me going.  The things that are wrong in my life money can’t change.  It is hard listening to your ‘”tiny voice” when it is being drowned out by depression.  I just don’t know where to start.  Somehow I need to figure out what I really have any control of.  And start there.  Working on at (???) those things.  One by one.  That is all I can do.  And in the process accept the things that are out of my control.  I have a plan.  I just don’t know when the depression will start to lift.  It is just painful enduring it.