A Small Discovery

Author: siggy

The latest addition to my office was a budding cactus.  Today the first yellow bloom opened up entirely and I had to share this discovery with my Other.  It is rare for us to have any flowering cactus.  She has had a Christmas cactus over the kitchen window for years and it has never bloomed.  I considered this flower a gift.  Life is full of unexpected gifts.  You just have to pay attention.

I know spring has “arrived” when I pull out from my closet all my colored T shirts and put them in my clothes drawer.  I exchange them for the insulated underwear there which now get stored back in the closet.  I have so much room.  When the warm weather is here to stay, I usually wear T shirts.  It is just another sign the warm weather is here to stay.  This happens every year.

The spring has arrived.  Everything has become green.  Most of the deciduous trees the leaves have come out although there are some late bloomers.  Some trees are only budding.  Spring is almost at the halfway mark.  And there are occasional days where it has skipped the season and went straight into summer but then it becomes cooler again and we know it is still spring.  I inspect my garden every day to see the next bloom of the year.  And then share the discovery with my Other.  Spring is the season of discoveries.  And I always like sharing the latest.  The hummingbird arrived on Easter only last week.  This time my wife spotted the bird first.  I love watching them sip nectar from our feeder.  And fend off other hummingbirds who invade their territory.

The dark is your worst haven.  It is the time you magnify your problems.  You are all alone.  You can’t escape yourself.  There is no place to hide.  Somehow you have to break the chains the night puts on you.

And strive for the light, where freedom is.  And when you are surrounded by the night, you have to keep an eye and remain open for the light the dawn will bring.

There is always another way but the devil tries to convince you this is all there is when you are surrounded by the night.

When you are able to open your eyes to the possibilities the new day brings you can break the chains the night brings.

Every person has to face the evil wrought when the night falls.  Nevertheless hold on to your faith when darkness envelopes.

It is never too late to face the light and do not be deceived by the bleakness of the night.  It will end and the light always comes in the dawn we face each day.

We went straight into summer from spring.  It hit 81 degrees today.  The warmer weather finally hit here.  I did not want to leave my car’s windows open.  It looked as if we might get a thunderstorm.  My wife worked outside in the garden and I brought out two folding chairs.  We are ready for this warm weather.  It took a long time to get here.

My wife saw the first hummingbird of the season come to our feeder.  She tried to get my attention but I did not see the bird.  Now I have my eyes stationed on the feeder which is only two feet from our front living room window.  I expect to see another any minute.  To think the hummingbird flew thousands of miles to get here and also remembered the location of this feeder.

Depression is not necessarily a bad thing.  Depression and despair are companions.  It simply may be telling you it is time to reexamine your value system.  What else is there to life?  Maybe I need to make some changes in my life.  This process does not occur without some pain.  Psychic pain translated in depression (and despair) is trying to get your attention.  There is no easy way out.  It has to be worked through.  Your depression is not the “enemy.”  Everything God has created is there for a reason.  Now is the time to evaluate how you spend your time.  This is a transition period so learn from it.  Depression is not necessarily a bad thing.  Your mind and body are connected.  Listen to what it is telling you.  Life is a journey.  There is an endpoint.  And that is not a bad thing.  It lends urgency to your life.  And there will always be loose ends.  You just want to minimize them so listen to your mind and body.  Everything is connected.

The worse thing about depression is you isolate yourself.  Staying in the house reinforces your isolation.  Going out in the sunlight is therapeutic.  All of a sudden you are exposed to different and other worlds.

Even if you do not talk to others (and this is hard not to do), you realize your world is not the only world.  There are multiple universes around you evolving.  A simple thing like going to the post office or the local supermarket can make a difference in your life.  You rub elbows with other people.

You hear snatches of conversations even if it is not directed at you.  It makes a difference.  Others have struggles in their life.  It is so easy to magnify your problems.  Going out exposes you to other peoples’ lives.

And there are those who have fractured relationships–marriages that are breaking up or simply for one reason or another are presently under a lot of stress.  And you overhear conversations that reflect this.

You are not alone.  You may find yourself reaching out to others.  And none of this would have happened if you continued to isolate yourself.  Go out.  It matters.  And reach out to others.  Your problems may shrink in proportion to others.  Isolation is never good.

It was cold, wet and damp.  I just could not get very warm.  It was a cold spring day.  The bank said forty-two degrees.  Even my four dogs did not want to stay outside.  They did their thing and came back into the house almost immediately.  Next day would be warmer.  I hope I will be able to snuggle into my blankets and get warm when I go to bed.  Tomorrow will be another day and at least twenty degrees warmer than today.  And maybe I will be more successful at staying warm.

The temperature is all relative:  today it is forty-seven degrees.  Cool for a late April date.  Yet if we had the same temperature in December or January, it would have been considered a warm day.  It is all a matter of perspective (and our expectations).  The best thing is just to enjoy the weather no matter what it is and make the best of it.  You have no control of the weather.  You just adjust.  There is no other way.

All I can do is just give it away.  It is my gift to you.  It is all I have.  Sometimes people I know read it.  Often it is strangers.  It is my gift.  My time.  I don’t know what else to do but give it away and hope someone out there benefits from it.  Life is full of treasures.  I only sample a few.  And share a few.  As I said, it is my gift to you.  Whoever, stumbles upon it.  It is all I have so enjoy it.  Mull it over if that is your pleasure or spit it out.  It comes from my core.  It is what I am.  And I don’t apologize.  It is me.  Maybe you will meet me halfway.  Maybe, not.  It is all I have.

Every time I glance out the front window I await the entrance of the first hummingbird.  I just put out nectar the other day for it.  In the past, the first one of the season came by the end of April so I know it could come any day now.

Yesterday (or the day before) I saw three cottontails munching on the grass viewed from the back window.  I never saw three at one time so I was thrilled.  Now every time I look out into the backyard I am looking for those three bunnies.

Nature has a way of surprising you:  when you least expect it, there it is another surprise.  It may be a northern mockingbird (you have never seen before in the yard) or some totally other different sight like the large orange salamander that we spotted twice.  Somewhere in back near the creek lives a large box turtle.  You never know and all you can do is live and view life with an expectant attitude.