Jun
28
2014
We saw twin fawns with their Mom only a mile from our house. We saw the doe after spotting the fawns. I had a camera but could not figure out how to “capture” the scene. I had never seen twin fawns before. Maybe, next time I will have better command of my camera and will be able to get a picture of such a sight. Nevertheless, the scene will be indelibly etched in our minds. It was one precious moment.
Jun
23
2014
Thank God for fatigue. It is your body telling you you have to rest. That is a good thing. “Speed” kills you for it overrides that message and given enough time you keep going and eventually your body deteriorates from within. Rest is a period your body recovers. If you consistently don’t sleep enough you don’t feel well for during sleep your body rejuvenates itself so observe the messages your body is telling you. Your body is an incredibly complex piece of machinery.
Jun
15
2014
The dynamics between our dogs have changed. The first day after Pax was put to sleep the remaining three dogs lay around depressed. All of a sudden the remaining three dogs were quieter. The “ring leader”, Pax was gone. He was the alpha dog and extremely vocal. He always had something to say. When the dogs were let loose into the yard, he always ran into the furthest corner of our yard barking every step of the way. Now sometimes you did not realize they were in the house (or outside): there was no barking. Let us see how they continue to act now with Pax gone.
Jun
15
2014
Being a father is not a right. It is a privilege. Sunday was Father’s Day. My son called me to wish me “Happy Father’s Day.” I did not hear from my daughter: she had hung up on me several weeks ago and cursed me out. I had written her a letter and she reacted violently to my words. Either we have a relationship based on truth or we have no relationship. It is her choice not to talk to me. I am not her friend but her Dad. And I will continue to speak the truth whether or not she likes it.
Lynelle and I celebrated Father’s Day by taking the Millersburg ferry across the Susquehanna River and eating at a great restaurant that was walking distance. Millersburg is a great quaint town. I took many pictures with my new digital camera of the river and of the town. I could not think of a better way to spend Father’s Day.
Jun
14
2014
We had to put Pax to sleep last night. My wife could not witness it. He was a great dog–fourteen years old. This did not make it any easier. He had a full life as a big dog. With much difficulty we got him into my car. I had to wait in the waiting room about fifteen minutes. Pax was in such bad pain. He could hardly move. He had two ripped knees and just got worse with his medication. He would not stop panting. I talked to him softly, stroked him lightly while we were waiting.
Finally we got into the room and he lay on the stainless steel. I did not stop stroking him lightly and talking to him. He lay there and I kept softly stroking him on ___ and talking softly to him. It was his last few minutes. The vet explained to me what was going to happen, shaved one of his legs and gave him his injection. I talked to him softly and lightly patted him as he went from one realm into another.
I burst into tears uncontrollably when he became still. I knew him for twelve of his fourteen years. He had such dignity. In the end no matter how difficult it was for him to exit into our yard and navigate the steps, he still went out into the yard to pee.
We did this for him not us. Now he can run freely, with no pain. Maybe, one time we will meet in heaven. He was a great dog. I loved him but I had to let him go. He is now in a better place.
Jun
10
2014
China and I have engrossing conversations. He is this long haired black and white exotically marked cat. We talk to one another. I “meow” and “meow”. And sometimes he replies. Other times he snuggles against me. I have no idea what I am saying in cat language but he gets the message: I love him and want to be near him. He is the most vocal of all our cats. We have seven. I have different relationships with all of them. Cheyenne, also long haired like China and his brother is one of the most beautiful cats I have ever seen. He often goes in the opposite direction when I approach him. He just does not like me. Both China and Cheyenne have the same mother Jasmine, a diminutive female who seems to get along with everyone including her four sons from two litters. Sometimes they all can be found lying near each other on my bed. I never thought I would become a cat lover but I have. They are very different than dogs. And I have four dogs. Our menagerie now numbers eleven. No fish yet.
Jun
9
2014
Pax is part of our family. He is old for a large dog: fourteen years old. He once weighed ninety six pounds. He is down to eighty-two pounds and can barely get around. Both of his knees are torn and all his muscles in his back have atrophied. He has been taking pain medications twice a day and then we added an anti-inflammatory medication twice a day. Finally that was replaced by steroids which we just started yesterday. We talked
about putting him down.
He is pooping all over the house and now peeing all over the house. He is a plucky dog. He gets in and out of our house with much difficulty. I am hoping the prednisone helps him more. The vet said that outside of his knees he is in relatively good shape for a dog of his age and size. His advice was to make him as comfortable as possible. I told my wife if she was incontinent and even senile I would not abandon her. We both love Pax and will just clean up after him. We are not going to put him down unless he can not get around any longer and is in too much pain. He is part of our family.
Jun
9
2014
Last night a hummingbird was looking for my nectar I usually put out for him/her. I spotted the bird alighting on a branch of the pine tree ten feet from where the feeder used to be. Since the bear tore that feeder down, I had not put any up, again. I felt so bad that I immediately made some more and filled my feeder for him and put it up again. Within fifteen minutes. I am hoping the hummingbird tries, again. I know it will take time for the hummingbirds to realize there is nectar there for them again. I felt so disheartened when a bear came in our yard twice and raided all our bird feeders. I felt helpless.
Jun
2
2014
Hopefully the black bear will stay away. He visited us twice and wrecked our gate to get over our five foot fence. Then he tore down all our bird feeders and got into the container of sunflower seed. My wife actually saw him. I am guessing his sex. I never did find the bird feeder we kept sunflower seed in. I bought another inexpensive one. The birds are slowly coming back. It had been a few days we had no feed for them. My wife was sound asleep in the living room which has a large front window. He came to our property at night. It just so happened I was away when this occurred. Yesterday a carpenter built us a sturdy gate. Let us see if that keeps the bear from entering our property. My wife is terrified of the bear and stopped sleeping in the living room. She wants nothing to do with this “critter”. This is the first time we had a bear on our property since we built a fence around part of it.
Jun
2
2014
If we are not our brother’s keeper continue to house most of the mentally ill in jails. After all, who cares if they get put in isolation wards when they misbehave there. So that is a form of torture. They usually are put on the cheapest medications not always the proper ones. Families are being destroyed not to say anything of the individuals there. I am sure the suicide rate is high.
I saw this coming decades ago when the states started closing down their state hospitals. The money did not follow into community services but just “evaporated”. Hospitalizations are very expensive. Partials are very cost effective. There is no way a person can be stabilized in a few days. At least in a partial you can be monitored over a long period of time. The therapeutic level of a psychotropic medication is often one to two weeks.
Are we our brother’s keeper? Yes! Yes! We are commanded to take care of the weak, the infirm, those in poverty and the mentally ill. We can not turn our heads to them. Each individual must do his/her part to alleviate their suffering. Our society has become so far away from that. So do your part no matter the role you take. It is never too late to start.
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