All you can do is mine who you are.  As a writer that is all you can do.  You are who you are.  And that is where your get your material to write.  We are all given a tiny piece of the universe.  It is small but that is what you got to work with.  We all think a little differently.  Each person is a “snowflake” and that is what we have to mine as a writer.  We can not portray ourselves as we are not.  Then it comes across as being phony.  We are ourselves for better or worse.

I am going to vanquish my winter blues. It is too much self–indulgence. My pets love me (and my wife). And that is enough. My favorite dog, Tilla, ‘adores’ me, in the words of my daughter. I did nothing to deserve all that. And that is an incomplete list of the seven cats and two dogs who each love me in their own way. My pets do not care what I do or am. And my wife does not care about the degree I do not have, or job for that matter.

Elegy To Paul Kantner

Author: siggy

This is an elegy to Paul Kantner, who died yesterday. He co-founded Jefferson Airplane. His most memorable song he wrote for them was “Crown Of Creation”. I still remember seeing Jefferson Airplane in 1970 at the Shore. And when they did that song I moved and sat down in the aisle to hear it. I strongly identified with some of the words of that song: ‘you are the crown of creation, and you got no place to go’. The song gave me hope for change at a time my life felt helpless and out of control. Paul Kantner was a visionary. The last studio album Jefferson Starship, the group he founded, came out with was an album almost no one heard near the end of his career. It was full of protest and folk and other peoples’ material. It was unlike anything he ever put out. It was titled “Jefferson Tree Of Liberty”. He was a visionary to the very end.

I love feeling the earth with my fingers. I don’t think you can garden without loving the feel of soil through your fingers. My Mom gardened every year until she moved away. She no longer had a place to hide. I know she missed that garden. I still remember the red roses she had. It was a small garden but she had a variety of flowers and vegetables. I am still trying to plant a fig tree on my property. Fresh figs are almost impossible to get in this area. Even today I can still picture that garden. Both of my sisters garden and one has a house full of houseplants. So many things started in my Mom’s garden for me–an appreciation of flowers and beauty. So many things.

‘Home is where they have to take you in.’ I am not sure if I got this quote verbatim, attributed to the famous poet Robert Frost. I thought about it for awhile. It is from our family we learn grace. We mess up badly and it is, often, our family that forgives us when we return home. No matter how badly I messed up I can return home and start afresh. Grace is a gift. There is no other way to put it. I don’t deserve it. Every person is flawed and makes mistakes. And we return home. No matter what we did.

Life, sometimes, is composed of small surprises. I found a frozen bagel in the freezer I forgot I had and was glad to defrost it and eat it toasted dabbed with some butter. It was a real treat. A little surprise yesterday. Let us see what the next one will be.

I appreciated my home better after I was gone a week. All my music at my fingertips. My wife, of course. And all my pets–all seven cats and three dogs. Now I am usually in charge of meals. There is nothing like being gone and back and realizing all your amenities are near by. Now I made my own coffee and drank out of my special cup. My coffee now tasted like I remembered it to. I did not have to listen to too many lectures when I did something wrong. My friend was a bit opinionated and overbearing, which is not to say my wife can’t be–she can. All in all I was glad to be home and grateful I had one to return to.

I was shaking after this close call. I was driving on the road that goes into mine when out of nowhere a pickup appeared in the opposite direction. The only way I avoided an head on collision was by immediately hugging the bank. It was only by inches I avoided an accident. Not only was that driver going too fast but was at least three feet over the center line. I could have been killed. Sometimes your life could change in a split second. It was a reality check.

We All Live Downstream

Author: siggy

We all live downstream. This was a sign I read on a stream. I thought of several things in, particularly, of global warming and how interrelated the world is. Everything is connected. And countries can’t agree and(???) how to attack this problem.

More locally when some one (or a company) pollutes a stream its(???) effects the body of water downstream. We all have one earth and each person (and each company) has to do its part to preserve it. No one lives in a void.

Vacations Always End

Author: siggy

Vacations always end.  Today Chuck and I will go on that fishing trip we talked about for, at least, a year. Unless, it is cancelled, again.  We were supposed to go fishing on Lake Pontchartrain on Wednesday but the waves were too choppy and the bottom of the lake was stirred up. The fishing would have been lousy that day. This is my last chance this visit to go fishing.  I have never caught a fish that weighed several pounds.  I might catch a speckled trout or if I am lucky a redfish that weighs even more.  Chuck has never fished in this area.

Maybe, next year we will go camping again.  We will see.  In any case it was fun and I am looking forward now to flying home and sleeping in the same bed with my wife and seeing all my critters (I especially miss Tilla, my favorite dog) and being in familiar surrounding.  It was nice to go away but thank God I have a place to go home to.  And a wife to return to.  This is the longest we been apart–one week.

‘Every family has baggage’ in the words of my friend’s wife.  I never gave it a whole lot of thought but she considered my two sisters to be successful.  Both graduated from college (one with a Master’s) and held good jobs for decades.  In contrast, my friend’s two sisters are struggling supporting themselves and alcoholism.  I always criticized my family and saw their shortcomings and was blind to their successes.  It made me think a little harder about the word success.

Absence makes your heart fonder.  I know that is a cliche but it is true.  I have been kept a little too busy on my vacation to miss my wife and menagerie particularly my dogs too much.  I have called my wife every day and made several quick calls.  My vacation to New Orleans has two days to go and then I fly back.  I see my lifelong friend once a year.  Once a year we reconnect.  After fifty years Chuck still makes me laugh and that is an accomplishment.  I had fun.  Saturday we go out on a charter as long as the weather behaves and I will probably catch the biggest fish of my life.  Chuck said some speckled trout weigh several pounds.  So I am excited about that.  My vacation here will end in a bang.