NYC Is Another World

Author: siggy

NYC is another world.  I was there briefly–forty-eight hours.  So many people.  All, seemingly, in a rush.  Surrounded by thousands of people.  I took the subway to get around.  It is a world I am not in too often any more.  I was glad to get back home surrounded by trees and quiet.  My dogs gave me a terrific greeting jumping all over me when I entered my house.  I left my wife for my trip.  It is difficult for us to go away with our menagerie–all four dogs and seven cats.  Maybe, once a year my wife and I go away usually to the NJ shore.  I was glad to get home.  To peace and quiet although I was glad to see part of my family in New York if only briefly.  NY city is just another world.

Things really do not make you happy.  They really don’t.  The only thing that does is love.  The people who are in your life whom you love.  I just came back from NYC where I met my sister and her husband briefly.  We went to an outstanding art museum (and NY is full of them).  First we had lunch or should I say brunch in an outstanding bagel shop.  I had something that is almost impossible to get in Pa–a good salt bagel.  I had come a long distance on Amtrak for this rendezvous to spend some time with my family or at least part of my family.  Then we walked around and viewed art in a nearby museum.  I was amazed how quickly I became tired.  After an hour and an half we sat and ate at the restaurant in the museum.  It was more to rest than to eat.  I was glad to see my sister and her husband.  They were in from California.  My family this year threw me a birthday party.  I can’t remember the last one thrown by my family.  It was my sister’s idea.  I did see the rest of my family that day at least my other sister and her husband.  I no longer remember whether my nephew was there and his wife.  I think they were.  It was a perfect day.  I will not forget it for awhile.  I did see my nephew (and his wife) on this trip to NY.  The train ride was fun.

Tilla did his best to cheer me up.  Twice he greeted me by jumping on my bed and licking my face.  And later he jumped up on our love sofa extending himself making it plain he was glad to see me.  I wonder whether he sensed I was down.  And was trying his best to cheer me up.  I don’t know but my depression briefly disappeared in those moments.  He gets an “E” for effort.

I reviewed the things that were depressing me.  And listed them.  There were some major reasons and some minor ones that by themselves were not enough to cause me to be depressed but were just another reason to be.  It was an accumulation of factors.  I am trying to eliminate what is in my control to change and see if my depression will lift.  It is worth trying.

Our “monster” cactus in my office bloomed today.  That is something we never expected when we moved the plant in when it became cold.  I meant to show the large pink flower to my wife this morning but I forgot.  The flower was five inches long from stem to tip and four inches wide.  There are four more buds on it.  One that received the least amount of light fell off.  I never had a cactus bloom in my house.  It was a miracle.

One of our dogs was in real trouble.  My wife had baked five loaves of pumpkin bread and lined them up on the counter.  And left them there alone for awhile.  She came back later and one of the larger loaves had the whole top of it missing — just bitten off.  She then had a Mom to Dog talk with three of our dogs.  We could not blame Pax:  he is not capable of reaching any.  He is just too old and arthritic.  We did not think “Sweetie” did it.  But we definitely suspected our two black dogs.  She spoke sternly to both of them.  They did not look too guilty.  Tilla definitely had been spotted several times in the past his hind legs stretching tongue extended to reach any crumb he could find on the counter.  More than once.  And we would not put it past our female Coco.  She certainly was capable of this dastardly act, too.  This happened yesterday and today I walked Tilla and he let loose with a big soft poop.  That made him a strong suspect for that bread had plenty of butter in it.  I am sure he has forgotten about that incident hours ago.

I wanted to stick in my house today.  There was nothing I was going to run out of today.  I had enough milk, chocolate and cigars.  What else that I need?  I took a shower and dressed in my sweats.  I had no need to put on regular clothes.  Everything I needed I had. There was no need to go out.  Even make a short trip into town to buy or pick up anything.

Everything Is By Grace

Author: siggy

Everything is by grace.  I was taking a shower today and had to remind myself the house I lived in before had no shower and for fifteen years I could not take a shower.  I remember being thrilled every time we were in a motel:  they had showers.  I thought about all that briefly.  Everything is by grace–even a shower.

I Was Depressed Lately

Author: siggy

I was depressed lately.  Depression is not something, necessarily, to stamp out.  I was aware depression was something I had to work through.  Nothing happens in a vacuum.  I knew I could not do this alone.  And needed someone’s help to do that.  I don’t think my wife could help me.  I had to seek the help elsewhere.  Someone who was not invested in me personally.  Depression is an indicator.  There are reasons for every state.  I just had to “work” through them.

I was amazed:  one of the Gerbera daisies we brought inside was doing so well that I looked closely and saw a bud coming up.  We had two plants outside and brought them in.  We knew the cold would kill them.  Both of them are putting out shoots and one is budding.  I never had a Gerbera daisy do that inside so now I will watch that particular plant.  I wonder what color the flower will be.  We will see.

I spotted a buck from the car.  First I saw the deer from a distance near a railroad track.  When I passed it, I took a second look and noted it had a fairly big rack.  It is very unusual for me to spot a buck with a rack.  It is hunting season so the deer was probably hiding or very skitterish.  Too many hunters were after it.

I Just Want To Stay In

Author: siggy

I just want to stay in:  it is thirty-seven degrees with a wind and cold.  Fall is already half over and then winter hits–how discouraging.  I will try to have enough clothing on when I go out and just bear it.  Before I know it, it will be spring.  At least, I like to delude myself that is true.