Siggy’s Blurbs

Every marriage is flawed and it does me no good to point out my wife’s flaws to her.  I just forgive her and go on from there.  We are all imperfect (and sin).

There is no way to get around that.  I have to admit I balked at the statement I read in a book where it says it does no good to criticize anyone:  it just lessens our ability to love that person.

I know I often criticize my partner even if it is only self talk.  Somehow I need to forgive her for not matching up every day.  I certainly don’t.  So why should I expect her to not make any mistakes?  I err every day.

Don’t let the sun go down on your wrath is good advice from the Bible.  Give each other a clean slate and forgive each other at the end of each day.

Bitterness can form an almost impenetrable wedge between you and your mate.  So recognize that both of you are flawed and forgive each other at the end of the day.  Every marriage is flawed.

Tags: ability to love, Bible, bitterness, criticize, don't let the sun go down on your wrath, end of the day, err, forgive, forgive each other, give a clean slate, God, impenetrable wedge, marriage is flawed, mistakes, my wife, self talk, sin, we are imperfect, your mate
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‘Your window to the world might be your own front door.  Your shiniest day might come in the middle of the night.’  Two lines from the Blackhawk song “That’s Just About Right”.  I identify with those two lines.

I am not sure I will ever do any thing earthshaking.  Nor will I ever be the President or some CEO of a corporation.  I realize maybe what I do in my own backyard might be important.

Notoriety or fame is overrated.  I remember reading in Bob Dylan’s autobiography how he wanted fame early on and then got it and wished he didn’t have it.  He wanted his children to have a normal existence and they could not.

Some weirdo was always showing up on his doorsteps.  Anonymity is really a gift.  And the famous lose it.  Dylan bemoaned its loss.  And realized fame was not what it was cut out to be.

I will continue to do what the Lord has called me to do.  Whether or not others recognize it.  The words I write if they impact at least one person they served their purpose.  I will continue to reach out and love the people around me.

The words from this song remind me to continue writing for it still matters to me no matter how many people read it.  So I continue for I know I have to.

Tags: "That's Just About Right", anonymity, Blackhawk, Bob Dylan, children, continue writing, famous, God, God calls you, music, notoriety or fame, reach out and love, the Lord, window to the world, words I write, write, writing, writing matters, your backyard, your own front door
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It happened in a blink of an eye.  I was not thinking.  And driving probably a little too fast on that stretch of road nearby.  A deer darted in front of me from my left.  I reacted instinctively and stepped on the brakes just enough to miss it by inches.

It was a stretch of the road I am usually more cautious on.  Deer cross the road to drink from the small creek below.  I have often flushed deer here but I was preoccupied.  It was the also the middle of the day.

After that close call I was shaking.  You bet I drove slower and more carefully on the way home.  Your life can change in a split second.  Sometimes we forget that.  Angels are often watching over us.

Tags: angels, angels watching over us, blink of an eye, change in a split second, close call, day, deer, drive more carefully, driving a car, God, small creek
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Insisting your relationship be fifty fifty creates problems.  First of all the give and take in a relationship is seldom equal.  Consider it like a pendulum:  sometime one gives more and sometimes it is the other.

And sometimes it is just one sided.  Often due to bad health.  The commitment you made said for better or worse or in sickness or health.

Of course when the giving is always one sided problems arise.  I am convinced that God created woman just to teach man how to love.  There is always a flow back and forth.

When you insist it be tit for tat it is not love.  Each person gives what they can.  And sometimes we do not appreciate one another.  That is when most problems come about.  And then one brings out the score sheet.

Relationships are always in a state of flux.  Insisting it be fifty fifty all the time does not recognize this reality and creates major problems–resentment by one party being one.

Tags: appreciate one another, commitment in marriage, fifty-fifty, for better or worse, give and take, give what you can, giving, God, health, in sickness and in health, men, problems, relationship, resentment, score sheet, tit for tat, woman
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I noticed the small pine tree in the pot outside near the driveway.  It was only three inches tall.  I wanted to transplant it on my property–somewhere I would remember and see how big it grew.  And then remember how small it once was.

All trees were once seeds strewn in the wind.  This property bought by my wife almost thirty years ago was barren and now the bushes are gigantic and woods and grass and trees are all over.  The land surrounding the house is no longer bare.

I wanted to see how much time the Lord afforded me.  I wanted to observe this small pine growing up and see if I could remember when it was this small.  At the beginning of the twentieth century the United States was denuded of much of its forests.

And they grew back.  I wanted to see how much time I would have.  I want to watch this small tree grow tall.

Tags: bushes, forests, God, grass, how much time we have, my wife, our house, pine tree, the Lord, the wind, tree seeds, trees, twentieth century, United States, want to watch the small tree grow, woods
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I feel bad for our cat Slinky:  she is dying from a tumor.  I am not sure we can do anything about it.  She is a black female cat, somewhat timid but very affectionate, over eight years old.

We have a total of eight cats and four dogs.  That still does not make it any easier.  We could give her a cat scan, which might indicate whether the tumor is treatable but it is very expensive.

I am torn.  She was sitting on my lap just a few days ago and I realized how much I loved her.  It is so hard to let go.  I imagine some of my other pets dying.  I know they will but my mind is balking at the thought of any of them dying.

I love each pet.  Each pet is different and has a distinct personality.  And I have a special relationship with each.

I believe God has put pets in our lives to teach us to let go and love again.  We usually outlive them.  It is so hard to see any of them die.

Tags: 12 pets, affectionate cat, black cat, CAT scan, cats, death, dogs, dying from a tumor, each animal has a personality, God, love, love your pets, our cat, outlive our pets, Slinky, special relationship with pets, teach us to let go and love again, timid cat
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It is so easy to center on what you do not have.  And this always leads to unhappiness.  It is so easy to do:  center on what you lack.  The commercials in the media feed on this.  If you buy their product you will be happy and fulfilled.  Sex is used to sell everything.

Our gross national product is based mostly on consumer buying so this is no accident.  Start centering on your many riches and be satisfied with what you got.  The best things are free.  Love has no cost.  The things that matter the most can be freely given:  acceptance, love and an ear to those closest to you.

It is true:  you need the basics:  food and  shelter.  God just needs to provide you with that.  Poverty has always existed in this world.  And we are commanded to help those in need around us.

But we desire so much beyond that.  And it always makes us unhappy.  And I struggle with that, too.  I know money is going to get tighter but if I can focus on everything I have, I will be happier.

Tags: acceptance, be happy and fulfilled, be satisfied with what you have, best things in life are free, buy their product, center on what you have, commercials in the media, consumer buying, focus on everything I have, food and shelter, God, God provides, God's commandment, gross national product, happiness, help those in need, love, money is tighter, poverty, unhappiness, use sex to sell
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Sometimes I do not see the birds.  I wonder where they went, whether I am just missing them.  A steady stream of titmouse, downy woodpecker and flocks of slate covered junco come to my feed I put out for them.

Presently there is not one bird out there.  The dogs were out and just charged in.  Now I am waiting for my visitors.  I do not remember exactly where I read it in the bible but it says if God can feed the sparrow how can we possibly doubt God won’t take care of us.

I think it uses the word lowly to describe the sparrow.  I put out birdseed on the ground and keep three feeders full.  The birds do not, I am sure, spend one second worrying where their next meal comes from.  Even in winter.

If God takes can take care of the lowly sparrow how can we possibly doubt He will not take care of us?  Of ye humans of bad faith!

Tags: Bible, bird feed, bird-feeders, birds, birdseed, do not worry, downy woodpecker, faith, flocks of slate covered junco, God, God feeds the sparrow, God takes care of us, humans, lowly sparrow, our dogs, titmouse, winter
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From every death comes a rebirth.  My first marriage had ended and it was painful.  My first wife decided it was easier to end it than to fight for it.  It took me a lot time to work through the hurt and to forgive her.

Miracles happen all the time.  Often they occur over a span of time.  And from death, comes rebirth.  When I least expected, another woman came along.  She was a miracle.

It was someone I knew for years.  From death, comes rebirth.  Lynelle was a miracle.  I really was not sure I could let another woman to enter my heart.  Love is often a miracle.

The pain of being separated from my two kids was severe.  I did not forgive my wife for a long time.  I felt she stole my kids from me.  But a miracle happened.  Forgiveness came along.  There is no easy way there.

Lynelle was a miracle I did not expect.  From death, comes rebirth.  And that is always a miracle.  Only He can provide forgiveness.  And that is always a miracle.

Tags: easier to end marriage than fight for it, first marriage, forgiveness, from death comes rebirth, God, God forgives, God provides forgiveness, hurt, love is a miracle, miracles, miracles over time, my wife, painful divorce, separated from my kids, stole my kids
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Every thing is by grace.  God really does not owe us anything.  On Christmas eve, a gray partridge (a Chukar partridge) appeared and fed on the ground and stayed for at least an hour.  I spotted it from our living room window and excitedly called my wife so she could see it too.  I never had seen one before and it took me awhile to properly identify it.

Finally we let out our four dogs.  They had to go out and we delayed it so they would not flush the bird.  I was amazed the bird simply froze near our big white pine and the dogs never spotted it and ran right past it.  Finally the bird ran across the yard, through the fence and disappeared.  We were curious whether the quail-like bird will come back (very similar in size to a bobwhite).

I got up this morning and put on my L.L Bean moccasins my sister bought me.  I had forgotten how comfortable they were.  Now I have to keep them out of reach of my dogs.  They could destroy one in one bite:  they are leather, very temping for one to chomp on.

There are plenty of gifts still to be opened.  Lynelle is not up yet.  I was feeling very grateful and thankful for everything.  I know everything is by grace.  Over two thousand years ago a baby was born in a manger.  We do not deserve Him.  And He died for us.  And it is a free gift.  That is totally by grace.  I did nothing to deserve it.  It is only by grace.

Tags: baby born in a manger, bobwhite bird, chew on slippers, Christmas eve, chukar partridge, everything-is-by-grace, feeling grateful and thankful, fence, flush the bird, four dogs, gifts to be opened, God, gray partridge, He died for us, Jesus, Jesus Christ, Jesus is a free gift, L.L. Bean, living room window, Messiah, moccasins, my sister, my wife, quail-like bird, totally by grace, two thousand years ago, we do not deserve Him, white pine tree
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My wife is truly my serendipity.  God gave me my present wife.  I was not looking for another.  My first marriage had broken up.  She came along when I least expected it.

There is so many reasons I can give why she is a blessing but I will only quickly state a few.  She encourages my writing and is also a fine editor.  She also makes me laugh.  She is not perfect but close.

I could not imagine a life without her.  We both love music and grew up in the same time frame so both of us love a lot of the same music.  All that is a gift.

She certainly is a “better fit” than my first wife.  Most of the time we like each other and laugh a lot together.  I consider her “serendipity”.  I did nothing to deserve her.  This is our seventh Christmas together.  She truly is a blessing.

And may I never forget that when there is any tension or conflict between us.  When I told my doctor my wife was driving me “crazy”, he said “Don’t all wives do that?!”

Tags: blessing, Christmas together, conflict, drive me crazy, encourage my writing, fine editor, first marriage, gift, God, laugh a lot, love music, makes me laugh, my doctor, my wife, serendipity, she is a blessing, tension, we like each other, wives
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I can’t compare myself to anyone.  I have to till the soil that is mine.  God has given me certain gifts.  And has wired me a certain way.  And all I can do is follow that tiny voice only I can hear.

It does me no good to even consider if I will have any kind of legacy.  That is not up to me.  Every person created is different.  There have been billions of people on this earth and each is is unique–a snowflake.

No one can really tell me what to do, what is most important to me, what drives me.  Certainly life is full of others who are too quick to tell you this.

Your conscience is really your ultimate guide.  Your time here is finite and all you can do is unravel the path set out for you, which only you know.  I have to till the soil that is only mine.

Some people’s destiny is grand and others are on a smaller scale –most people for that matter.  You have to accept the place given to you.  We are all part of a whole.  And ripples go forth into the universe when you are following the path only set for you.

Tags: accept your place, billions of people created, do not compare yourself, every person is different, follow the tiny voice, follow your path, gifts from God, God, my legacy, only I can hear, ripples into the universe, snowflake, till the soil, unravel your path, we are part of a whole, you are unique, your conscience is your guide, your destiny, your time is finite here
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