Aug
12
2011
What Is A Matter With You!?
Author: siggyWhat is matter with you!? Right away puts me on the defensive. I know damn well I am flawed. Maybe a more personal statement using “I” in it would be better. As such: what you are doing bothers me. Make it a little more personal instead: use exact terms. Maybe give me a chance to explain my actions or even apologize for hurting you but don’t say, ‘What is a matter with you?!’ Give me a chance to talk. Don’t shut me down. Give me the benefit of the doubt. You would want the same courtesy. Communication is always a two way street. Don’t assume you are always right. Or justified. Give me a chance. That is all I ever wanted.
Tags: always right, apologize, benefit of the doubt, chance to talk, communication, courtesy, don't shut me down, give me a chance, hurting you, I know I am flawed, justified, marriage, relationships, talk, two way street
August 14th, 2011 at 12:34 pm
When someone says “What is the matter with you?” there is an implied “as opposed to me, the perfect one.” I have heard parents say it to small children, and it usually makes me cringe. A REALLY good answer might be, “I wish I knew.” Or how about, “How much time do you have? My response might take a while.” Tom said his response would be “Me is the matter with me” or “Life is the matter with me.” He dislikes the question, too.