May
8
2009
What Gives Me Hope….
Author: siggyIt was a simple realization: the only person I can change is me. I have no control of others. In this case my wife. Things had become a little ragged between us. There was too much tension between us. Tempers flared too often. And I wanted it back to the way it used to be.
And this popped into my head: I have absolutely no control of my “other”. I do have control of me. And that gave me hope, that our situation would improve.
Telling my wife you did this or that wrong was futile. I had to figure out what I could change in me, how I could react differently to her.
Steven R. Covey in one of his books explained you always have a split second to choose your reaction to another. There is that space. You do not just have to react.
All this gave me hope. It really was under my control. I can not change another (in this case my mate) but I can change me, I can change my reaction. All this gave me hope.
Tags: change another, change yourself, choose your reaction to another, control, gives me hope, God, hope, love, marriage, my wife, no control of others, only person I can change is me, reactions, relationships, Steven R. Covey, tempers flared, tension
May 14th, 2009 at 5:35 am
Siggy,
You are getting to be very “Zen like” my friend. I really like that “…you always have a split second…” line. If all of us made use of the “split second” pause before we spoke, took a moment to consider our words, we might introduce less pain and negativity into our world. Good food for thought!
Brother John
Lansdowne, Pennsylvania USA