The worst diagnosis I ever received was being considered mentally ill. I had to fight for decades for my sanity. I doubted my own mind. I did not trust me. And that is devastating when you do not even trust your own mind. I had to understand me and also be able to rely on me. The stigma my parents felt when I started breaking down became internalized. I hated me every time I end up in a hospital or psychiatric ward. The treatment I received was, also, devastating. I was no longer treated as a citizen with all the rights due me. I became a second class citizen with no civil rights. They were all taken away from me because I broke down in a way society frowned upon. It was not my fault. Some people become drug addicts. Some become alcoholics. I was punished by the system because I was manic-depressive. They would shoot me full of Thorazine to stamp out the mania which was not my fault. I was stigmatized for being mentally ill. I read everything I could to understand me and how to find a way I could exist in this society. I do take medication now for my condition but all I do is take some pills in the morning and then evening and then forget about it. I know who I am and like who I am. I have learned to reach out to others. I do not want others to go through the hell I did. If reading this blog makes it a little easier for you on your journey I will be happy. This is part 1 of this discussion.
Tags: hospital, mania, manic-depressive, mental illness, mentally ill, my parents, no civil rights, no longer treated as a citizen, psychiatric medications, psychiatric ward, reach out to others, stigma, Thorazine, trust your own mind
Posted in balance, knowledge&learning, life, mental health, relationships, time, wisdom |
Feeling shame is the worst thing about experiencing mental illness. It isolates you. It keeps you in a prison of your own making. The truth is everyone has problems. Unfortunately those diagnosed being mentally ill are singled out. And others around them by a wall of silence tacitly agree something is wrong with that person. And the stigma becomes internalized. While all it really is, is another set of problems.
And the truth is the only people who don’t have problems are those “under the ground.” Society perpetuates the stigma in all kinds of ways: the media is one big way. Of course, the pharmaceutical companies want to sell their drugs. Each version of the DSM has more diagnoses and is driven by the drug companies. They want to push their drugs. I find it interesting we are the only country to use the DSM. And they don’t care about the side effects. It just means they can then prescribe more drugs to treat them.
I have become very cynical about the drug companies. Most people want nothing to do with these drugs. For many people they don’t work and even make things worse when you are prescribed them and you go off of them. Medication is overused to treat mental illness. Medication can only help you so much assuming they are even helping you, which is a very big assumption. In fact nowadays most family doctors prescribe them. Most people do not want others to know they are seeing a psychiatrist. There is just too much shame about it.
Tags: diagnoses, drug companies, DSM, everyone has problems, family doctor, medication, medication overused to treat mental illness, mental illness, pharmaceutical, psychiatrist, shame, side effects, stigma
Posted in health, knowledge&learning, life, mental health, time |
