“I don’t want my doctor to think I am mental”. This is a fragment of an conversation I overheard. I wanted to shake the person, ask her why she thinks her doctor (or therapist) is perfect, does not make mistakes like her. Everyone has problems and why do you think you are less than human because you are exhibiting, maybe, some turmoil over some problem or conflict. The doctor is there to assist you, not judge you. And certainly don’t judge yourself because you are exhibiting what you consider to be some aberrant behavior. Everyone is in the same boat: each person sins, errs and is imperfect so don’t condemn any part of you and think someone is better than you because they have some diplomas on the wall.

Every person has a different cross to bear.  In Paul’s case (from the New Testament) it was his ‘thorn in the flesh’ God would not remove despite his fervent prayers.  Sometimes prayers will resolve a situation or physical infirmity but sometimes not.  His answer is, “No.”  Every person has something different to deal with.  Sometimes, also, we create our own hell.  And sometimes it is not our fault.  It is our unique situation.  It could be fractured relationships.  Maybe, a mom or dad or sibling or friend or mate.  We can not even compare ourselves to someone else.  That really does not help.  Everyone has problems.  That is the way it is.  Every person has a different cross to bear.  It is really out of our hands.  All you can do is pray.  And change what is in your power to change.  And leave the rest up to Him.  Everything is by grace.

Life is always about connections:  the relationships you make and maintain.  You should never neglect your mate but there is always a danger your relationship will become stale.  Sometimes a simple thing like leaving the house and doing a chore is good.  You find out others have problems and you are not alone.  People have a way of expressing their present concerns.  Sometimes it is a question of eavesdropping.  You are just there.  Like shopping in a food aisle.  Other times, you may want to reach out in some way.  Each person has a deep need to be listened to.  You just may be that person but you have to make yourself available.  No one lives in a vacuum.  Sometimes you have to take a chance–open up to someone.  There is no such thing as small talk.  Yes, it is true it may stay there but often it is an opening for you to take.

It is just not good to stay in the house all the time.  Our thoughts just revolve.  And we need to break the cycle.  Sometimes it means taking chances with perfect strangers.  You never know when you will meet an angel.  And furthermore how can you possibly make new friends if you do not take a chance by revealing something personal about you?  Each friend you have was once a stranger.  Never stop reaching out.  Life is about relationships.  In John Dunn’s words, ‘No man is an island’.  We don’t exist by ourselves.  We are all connected.  Each person has a deep need to love and be loved.

Feeling shame is the worst thing about experiencing mental illness.  It isolates you.  It keeps you in a prison of your own making.  The truth is everyone has problems.  Unfortunately those diagnosed being mentally ill are singled out.  And others around them by a wall of silence tacitly agree something is wrong with that person.  And the stigma becomes internalized.  While all it really is, is another set of problems.

And the truth is the only people who don’t have problems are those “under the ground.”  Society perpetuates the stigma in all kinds of ways:  the media is one big way.  Of course, the pharmaceutical companies want to sell their drugs.  Each version of the DSM has more diagnoses and is driven by the drug companies.  They want to push their drugs.  I find it interesting we are the only country to use the DSM.  And they don’t care about the side effects.  It just means they can then prescribe more drugs to treat them.

I have become very cynical about the drug companies.  Most people want nothing to do with these drugs.  For many people they don’t work and even make things worse when you are prescribed them and you go off of them.  Medication is overused to treat mental illness.  Medication can only help you so much assuming they are even helping you, which is a very big assumption.  In fact nowadays most family doctors prescribe them.  Most people do not want others to know they are seeing a psychiatrist.  There is just too much shame about it.

In every life some tragedy falls.  It does no good to bemoan your fate.  Some people die, get sick, have accidents.  Life is not fair.  It does no good to compare yourself with others.  You deal with the “cards dealt you”.  That is all you can do.  Every life has tragedy.  There is no way to get around that.  Each life has problems.  You should be grateful.  Life is, indeed, very precious and all you can do is deal with your unique set of problems.  And how you face them will determines your character.  We are all tempered by the crucible of fire.

Isolation is a bad thing.  Sometimes you have to force yourself to go out.  When you mix with others you gain a proper perspective of your life.  You find out others are dealing with problems–some severe.

It is too easy to magnify your own set of problems.  If you don’t talk to others this is an easy thing to do.  When you mix with others, you have an opportunity to learn about others and even find ways to reach out to other people.

Isolation is always a bad thing.  You think the whole universe revolves around you.  Going out frees you from this illusion.  You find out you are not alone and every one has to deal with something.

People get sick, even die and sometimes have almost unbearable difficulties.  You get an opportunity to share your problems with others.  And the reverse is also true.  You get to share your victories with others and they with you.

You never find this out unless you leave your premises.  It is always good to get out, talk to others.  And reach out to others.  ‘No man is an island’ in the words of John Donne.