Siggy's Blurbs: Siggy's Edge of Country …

The worst diagnosis I ever received was being considered mentally ill.  I had to fight for decades for my sanity.  I doubted my own mind.  I did not trust me.  And that is devastating when you do not even trust your own mind.  I had to understand me and also be able to rely on me.  The stigma my parents felt when I started breaking down became internalized.  I hated me every time I end up in a hospital or psychiatric ward.  The treatment I received was, also, devastating.  I was no longer treated as a citizen with all the rights due me.  I became a second class citizen with no civil rights.  They were all taken away from me because I broke down in a way society frowned upon.  It was not my fault.  Some people become drug addicts.  Some become alcoholics.  I was punished by the system because I was manic-depressive.  They would shoot me full of Thorazine to stamp out the mania which was not my fault.  I was stigmatized for being mentally ill.  I read everything I could to understand me and how to find a way I could exist in this society.  I do take medication now for my condition but all I do is take some pills in the morning and then evening and then forget about it.  I know who I am and like who I am.  I have learned to reach out to others.  I do not want others to go through the hell I did.  If reading this blog makes it a little easier for you on your journey I will be happy.  This is part 1 of this discussion.

Tags: hospital, mania, manic-depressive, mental illness, mentally ill, my parents, no civil rights, no longer treated as a citizen, psychiatric medications, psychiatric ward, reach out to others, stigma, Thorazine, trust your own mind
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The worse thing about depression is you isolate yourself.  Staying in the house reinforces your isolation.  Going out in the sunlight is therapeutic.  All of a sudden you are exposed to different and other worlds.

Even if you do not talk to others (and this is hard not to do), you realize your world is not the only world.  There are multiple universes around you evolving.  A simple thing like going to the post office or the local supermarket can make a difference in your life.  You rub elbows with other people.

You hear snatches of conversations even if it is not directed at you.  It makes a difference.  Others have struggles in their life.  It is so easy to magnify your problems.  Going out exposes you to other peoples’ lives.

And there are those who have fractured relationships–marriages that are breaking up or simply for one reason or another are presently under a lot of stress.  And you overhear conversations that reflect this.

You are not alone.  You may find yourself reaching out to others.  And none of this would have happened if you continued to isolate yourself.  Go out.  It matters.  And reach out to others.  Your problems may shrink in proportion to others.  Isolation is never good.

Tags: conversation, depression, go out, God, isolate yourself, magnify your problems, marriage, other people, post office, reach out to others, relationships, stay in the house, stress, struggles in life, sunlight, supermarket, talk to others, therapeutic, you are not alone, your problems, your world
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It is easy to love someone at a distance, someone you do not know.  It is far harder to love someone closest to you, “your blood and guts.”

It is so easy to delude yourself you are reaching out to someone who is in the distance who you know needs an hand.

First start with people in your own backyard, your mate, your sibling or a friend–others who you know intimately.

And after you have taken care of the needs of those closest to you, branch out and make sure your neighbors do not need you.

Often what is most needed is kindness and free use of your time, which is the most precious commodity you possess.

Yes, after all is said and done reach out to others far away but never neglect those closest to you.  Charity always begins at home.

Tags: charity beings at home, free use of your time, God, help others, kindness, love, never neglect those closest to you, reach out to others, your neighbors
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Do not be afraid of rejection and reach out to others.  You will be blessed beyond measure.  There are always hurting people around you and not every person will respond to you.  Accept that fact.

Reach out to others in small ways.  A person always remembers small kindnesses.  So reach out to others.

You will be rewarded in love far beyond your imagination and your belief.  Never stop reaching out.

This is all I learned and want to pass on.  Never be afraid of your rejections.

Learn to love.  You will never be disappointed.  People always respond to kindness even if it is not acknowledged.  The person noticed even if she/he did not respond to you.  They noticed I guarantee you.

So never stop reaching out to others.  Your love is infinite.

And that which is returned.  Love is the only thing that matters in this world.

It is always there.  So, again, I say reach out to others around you.  You might may even entertain an angel.

Tags: blessed, blessed beyond measure, do not be afraid of rejection, entertain an angel, hurting people, learn to love, love, love is always there, love is infinite, love is the only thing that matters, never stop reaching out, pass it on, people respond to kindness, reach out to others, rewarded in love, small kindnesses
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Every person gives what they can, when they can, to whoever they can.  It is important to have low expectations of your acquaintances (and certainly your friends).

Thus, you can never be disappointed and when one comes through and gives you something unexpectedly (and let us not forget the gift of their time probably the most precious commodity a person possesses), you simply can be grateful and consider it serendipity.

One can not live inside another and know what goes on, what pressures and concerns that person is facing.  It is hard enough when you live with someone so you can imagine how difficult it is with someone else.

When another person reaches out to you, you ought to be grateful and accept the gift.  Others give what they can, when they can.  That does not mean you should not try to reach out to others around you.

Just be aware others often do not acknowledge your efforts and certainly do not always return the “favor” to put it one way.  You need to love others particularly your neighbors (and even strangers) unconditionally.

A relationship may blossom when you least expect it to.  And that is how it usually goes.

Tags: accept the gift, acquaintances, be grateful, blossom, gift of your time, give what you can, give when you can, hard to know what others are facing, love strangers, love unconditionally, love your neighbors, precious commodity, reach out to others, relationships, return the favor, serendipity, your efforts, your friends
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The right word spoken to you can be like honey:  It soothes the throat right away.  Bless the people who have the wisdom to utter to you just the right words at the right time.

I walked into his office flustered, stating “My wife is driving me crazy”!  And my doctor immediately retorted, “Isn’t that what all wives do?”  I felt like he gave me back my life.  I was not that unusual.

I have been dealing with depression after meeting with my nephrologist several weeks ago.  I mentioned that to the other doctor and he said, “That seems perfectly normal considering the life changes the other doctor was contemplating you undergoing.”

I felt better after his statement.  It did not take away my depression but at least I felt it was normal being depressed under those circumstances.  And I just had to work through it.

That is why it is so important not to isolate yourself.  When you talk to others outside the home you often find out other people are experiencing the same thing or what you are going through is perfectly normal.

You never find out those things out if you stay in your house and do not talk to others.  An apt word spoken just at the right time can soothe your fears which often run wild if kept to themselves.

Remember, ‘No man is an island’.  These words of John Donne have calmed many a person when they decided to stop isolating themselves.  It is amazing how many times the right advice can soothe yours fears that have run wild in the confines of your home.

We are really wired to be social “animals” and have much more in common with one another than we realize but we have to take a chance and reach out to others.  Then we find that out.  It is not necessary to do it alone.

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You never have to do it alone.  Depression is born(e) of isolation.  Reach out to others in need you will break the spell of isolation.  We can not do it alone any way.

Isolation is bad for your problems become magnified.  And when you reach out to others your problems fade into the background.

The truth is every one has problems.  Solving them is what makes life interesting.  The only people who do not have problems are under ground.  So relish yours and at the same time reach out to others in need.  ‘No man is an island’ in the words of John Donne.

Tags: can not do it alone, depression, do it alone, every one has problems, isolation, John Donne, no man is an island, problems, problems fade, problems magnified, reach out to others, reach out to others in need, solving problems
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I was lying in bed and thinking as I was trying to fall asleep.  I must thank the Lord for everything–even this comfortable bed and pillows I am resting my head on.

Everything Is by grace.  There is no way around that.  You can think otherwise but it is futile.  You can rail how unfair life is but that is futile, too.

Less is always more.  And God does not owe us anything and everything we have is by the grace of God.  Life is never fair:  some people have more and some people have less.  The poor are always among us.  The war on poverty–a campaign by Lyndon Johnson, the president of the United States, in the late sixties was a failure.

It is true each person has to help the other in any way you can but the poor will always be among us.  Blessed are the poor in spirit.  Being poor sometimes forces us to rely on God for our provisions.  Money can insulate us from God.

There is the illusion we can provide for ourselves when we have enough money but that is only an illusion.  We need one another.  No man is an island, the famous words of John Donne.

It is far easier to lead your life with thankfulness.  Gratitude is a blessing and each person needs to reach out to others in any way they can.  In fact, in the Bible it say that if it is in your power to help someone and do not you have committed a sin.

I have to count my blessings each day.  My wife is only here by serendipity.  My attitude of thankfulness for the provisions of the Almighty gives me grace that I can not earn.  And everything is by grace.

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Greed is a terrible thing.  And money gives you the illusion you do not need Him.  And you do not need others, that you truly are self sufficient.  Besides the fact, that is truly a lie from satan.  Money insulates you from relying on others.

The  fact is the world is interdependent.  We need one another.  This is never more apparent than when we are in a crisis.  Money can not buy “roots”.  Roots take years, decades to develop.  A lot of people do not take the time to develop roots, relationships with others.

When you reach out to others and help others in need, you are developing roots in the community.  It is a question of keeping your ears and eyes open around you.  Needs are there.  You have to figure, how can I reach out to the persons around me.  Your neighbors will tell you.  You just have to pay attention and figure out what can I do which will help this person I am having contact with.  It is just being alert.

What does this have to do with our failing economy?  Hard times force us to rely on one another more, to be more resourceful.  It destroys the illusion we don’t need Him.  And others.  We need one another.  And that is never more apparent than when we are not sure where the next meal is coming from or when we are struggling to pay our bills.  A failing economy puts most people in the same boat.  And we help one another more readily.  A failing economy is not necessarily a bad thing.

Tags: community, economy, God, greed, help others in need, interdependence, knowledge, learning, money, neighbors, politics, reach out to others, relationships, rely on one another, we need God, we need one another
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I really can’t answer that.  Only you.  Do you listen to the tiny voice only you can hear?  This can be very difficult in a society that values conformity.  There are so many pressures you face–inward and outside.  Your conscience can be a dictator (or free you).  There are no easy answers.  To love another means to be able to reach out to others and forget yourself.  First, though you have to like and love yourself.  Respect starts with you.  If you do not respect yourself how can you possibly respect others?  Listening to a tune of a different drummer (words coined by Thoreau) means having the courage to follow the path only you truly can follow.  There are no lack of people to tell you how to lead your life and somehow you need to respect the lives of those closest to you.  That is truly a balancing act.  Maybe now you can answer that question a little better:  Do you walk to a tune of a different drummer?  Only you know to what degree that might be true.

Tags: balance, different drummer, follow your own path, God, like and love yourself, reach out to others, relationships, respect starts with you, society values conformity, Thoreau, tiny voice only you can hear, tune of a different drummer
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I do not have to know everything.  Of course, no one can.  There are few Renaissance people any more.  Yet it is so easy to feel shame if you can not do simple things and envy the knowledge others possess.  It is so hard to know what you know and know what you do not.  This knowledge is the beginning of wisdom.  Ignorance is bliss.  You can relax in the fact this world is interdependent.  We all need one another.

Money can provide the illusion this is not so.  It is truly an illusion.  All you have to do is think of all the services provided for you.  Someone keeps the roads paved.  Someone is raising the crops that provide the food you buy in supermarkets.  The Army and the police assure your safety.  There are scientists, engineers working on solutions to improve your life further.  There are hospitals, doctors, teachers, the list is endless of people out there providing for you and your children.  Are you beginning to get the point?  We are dependent on one another.

In fact the bad economic state we are in even more so forces us to rely on each other.  That is really a good thing.  One does not have to do it alone and can relax.  Still you have to do your part.  Nevertheless, we are interdependent with one another.  We can rely on each other.  That is really the way the world is designed.  In the words of John Donne, ‘No man is an island.’  If we can hold on to that idea, the world becomes a much smaller place and we can relax further.  No one has to do it alone.  We are in this world together.  It is okay to ask for help when you need it and certainly it is okay to reach out to the needs of people around you.  All that can be very comforting.

Tags: balance, comforting, do not have to do it alone, do your part, doctors, economic state, God, hospitals, interdependence, John Donne, knowledge, learning, money, no man is an island, okay to ask for help, raising crops, reach out to others, relationships, rely on each other, Renaissance people, roads paved, services provided, teachers, we all need one another, we can relax, wisdom, world is interdependent
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It is so easy to view the current events occurring in the world and feel completely helpless.  You really have to back down and look at your life and your personal sphere of influence.  Every day you have contact with people.  You never know for sure how your actions will impact the world.  That is beyond your scope.

To love the people God puts in your circle is no small thing.  It might send small shock waves throughout the universe.  It is true you can not predict the impact of your daily behavior but loving each person who is in your personal sphere of influence is no small thing.  The world could be transformed.  Yes, that might not happen but don’t linger there.  It will only defeat you.

Mother Teresa said do not do big things with love but small things with much love.  It is so easy to get lost in the big picture.  Look at the lives you are intertwined with:  your wife, your kids, your relatives, your friends even the strangers you pass every day.  You never know how a kind or encouraging word can just be the right medicine for some hurting person.

You can transform the world but first learn to do small things with much love.  Life is really composed of many small things.  The big things in life only come along once in a while.  So learn to reach out to each person with love, acceptance and respect.  As Jesus said, “Lose your life and you will find it.”  That does not sound like an exact quote but nevertheless reach out to others.  You will never be disappointed.

Tags: "lose your life and you will find it", a kind or encouraging word, acceptance, change the world, do small things with much love, friends, God, Jesus, kids, live is many small things, love, love people, Mother Teresa, reach out to others, relatives, respect, strangers, wife, world transformed, your sphere of influence
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