Siggy's Blurbs: Siggy's Edge of Country …

Things really do not make you happy.  They really don’t.  The only thing that does is love.  The people who are in your life whom you love.  I just came back from NYC where I met my sister and her husband briefly.  We went to an outstanding art museum (and NY is full of them).  First we had lunch or should I say brunch in an outstanding bagel shop.  I had something that is almost impossible to get in Pa–a good salt bagel.  I had come a long distance on Amtrak for this rendezvous to spend some time with my family or at least part of my family.  Then we walked around and viewed art in a nearby museum.  I was amazed how quickly I became tired.  After an hour and an half we sat and ate at the restaurant in the museum.  It was more to rest than to eat.  I was glad to see my sister and her husband.  They were in from California.  My family this year threw me a birthday party.  I can’t remember the last one thrown by my family.  It was my sister’s idea.  I did see the rest of my family that day at least my other sister and her husband.  I no longer remember whether my nephew was there and his wife.  I think they were.  It was a perfect day.  I will not forget it for awhile.  I did see my nephew (and his wife) on this trip to NY.  The train ride was fun.

Tags: a perfect day, Amtrak, art museums in NYC, bagel shop, California, family, family birthday party, love is the only thing that matters, my nephew, my sister, my trip into NYC to see family, NY, PA, salt bagel, things don't make you happy, train ride, visiting family
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I felt odd discussing my health situation:  I went to my nephrologist (a kidney doctor) for the second time.  The report of my condition was worst than I thought:  my kidney function was down to twenty per cent and my doctor in the next visit was going to discuss  putting me in dialysis.  It takes six to twelve months to put into motion.

I started to mull over what this meant.  A loss of my freedom.  I could not easily go away.  I had dreamed for forty years to travel to San Francisco maybe even by train (I loved train rides).  I would visit my sister whose house I had never seen and my brother-in-law who I have never met.  This would be almost impossible to do once I started dialysis.  I could at most go away for a day or two at a time.

I was reeling from this news.  I did not want to bear it alone.  Sharing it with others meant reminding them of their own mortality.  And death was the last taboo so I could not discuss my situation so easily with others.  I felt all alone.

Time all of a sudden became very valuable.  I did have a window.  I am going to take the trip that I dreamed to take for most of my life before I start my dialysis.  You only live once.

Tags: bear it alone, brother-in-law, death, death the last taboo, felt all alone, God, health, kidney doctor, kidney function, loss of freedom, mortality, my sister, nephrologist, reeling from news, San Francisco, share, time very valuable, train ride, window of time, you only live once
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