May
12
2013
I was depressed that evening. My wife reminded me it probably was fatigue. Right after I kissed my wife good-night Tilla followed me into the TV room and nudged shut the door. Somehow that was comforting, that my dog wanted my company. It was a small act but it mattered. The next morning I awoke and the depression was gone. My wife was right. I was just overly tired.
May
12
2013
We are all flawed and it is so easy to criticize someone for their flaws. It is so easy to forget that. Sometimes the things we criticize someone for are the very things we can’t tolerate in our self. And we come down hard on those who demonstrate their imperfections. If we can remember we are all flawed and sinners, which is just another way of saying the same thing; then, we can be more compassionate of others. Everyone makes mistakes.
May
3
2013
My older sister had all these lines running down her mouth. At least, that is what my wife noted. She is five years younger than me. She frets too much. I try not to worry too much. And take control of what I can. At least, is what my wife said. I have some lines but my face is relatively smooth. Eventually you become (as far as your features go) who you are inside.
Apr
26
2013
I really do not feel sorry for my financial state. One of my friends made some reference to that. I never made as much money as him or leave (???) in such a beautiful house. I am content with what I have. There is less and more in this world. That is the way it is. God has blessed me abundantly. I know that and I am content.
Apr
21
2013
The mentally ill in prisons don’t get good treatment. They use the cheapest drugs to treat them. The mentally ill in jails are disposable. And what does that say about us? I learned about this from a lady who spent time in jail. They had her strapped down in a chair for days. She went cold turkey from all her medications and convulsed. She could have died. She did not even belong in jail. They made a mistake arresting her. Her psychiatrist gave the jail hell for what they did. Then I found out how poor treatment the mentally ill get in jails. They don’t really care about them. It is only now they are beginning to address the problem. And there are more mentally ill in jails than in hospitals. That is a travesty.
Apr
21
2013
The poor are always among us. This was a letter I wrote to a friend of mine who was doing surveys for the department of welfare and he said how could we let people live like that:
There is something important you can do about the people you visit and interview. You can pray for them–each person and their circumstances. You said, ‘People should not live in such poverty.’ The poor have always been among us.
Pray for each person you meet. If you have to, make a list of the households and people you meet. People are poor for different reasons. Sometimes alcohol or drug abuse is involved. Sometimes it is mental illness. Other times it is just plain bad luck. Someone lost a job, ran out of unemployment or a bad illness was involved and they did not have health insurance or it did not take care of their needs.
There are all kinds of reasons people live in poverty. Pray for each person, the children or their parents you meet. Never stop praying.
Everything is by grace. Praise the Lord for your health, your living quarters, everything. Everything is by grace. Continue to pray. Prayer can move mountains.
Your friend
Apr
16
2013
There is one reason why many want to blame and target the mentally ill for travesties like Sandy Hook Elementary, where over twenty were gunned down mostly children. It is easier. The young man who perpetrated those murders must be crazy. And other mass murderers like the man at Virginia Tech. People are scared. They want a scapegoat. Despite the fact few of these mass murderers are even in the mental health system. They must be crazy to have done that–gunned down and killed innocent people. By all means strengthen the background checks to buy guns and ammo. The fact is there is a Devil in this world and evil exists. No one wants to face that. Or even admit that. It is easier to say these murderers are crazy.
And yesterday another travesty occurred at the Boston marathon. More evil. Many people including the FBI are trying to figure out who is responsible for that cowardly act injuring over an hundred people–some people who will never be the same again. Two bombs were deliberately set off in a crowded area. This dastardly act was designed to instill fear in others. And kill innocent people. It is being called a terrorist act. More evil. I don’t care who the perpetrators are and how they justify those acts. It is evil. Designed to strike fear into others. It is a cowardice and pure unadulterated evil. And you fight evil with truth and courage. And with Him who will never leaves you.
Apr
16
2013
Every day I have to thank God for his blessings. I will repeat this over and over. I owe Him everything. Every provision. My health. Everything. I get into trouble when I take Him for granted. I, also, have to remind myself life, also, is not fair. Every day I have to thank Him for every moment. I owe Him everything. Every blessing. Every breath I take.
Apr
2
2013
Gratitude is the only way. It is so easy not to thank God for His abundance. But you must. Life is not always fair but he says, ‘Give us our daily bread.’ And pray to Him with a spirit of thankfulness. He does take care of us. And we have to thank Him every day for His blessings. That is why we have to approach Him every day with a spirit of thankfulness. We owe everything to Him. Everything. Every gift, every provision. Our health. Everything.
Apr
1
2013
Things really don’t make me happy. Acceptance and recognition. I first have to be happy with whom I am. The other two “states” are also important. You can have everything you want and still be unhappy. Each person has a calling. You certainly are unhappy if you are not following yours. It is hard to do alone. An occasional recognition for your accomplishments, that validate what you are trying to do is necessary. It keeps you going. A word of praise can keep you going for a long time. That is why I keep an “Inspiration” file. When my enthusiasm wanes or depression sets in I pull out the file and get recharged reading my collection I amassed over the years just for that purpose. Things don’t really make me happy.
Mar
31
2013
People who think they are perfectly normal create havoc around them. Never get mad at them. They think how could you possibly get angry at me. Little old me. ‘I did nothing wrong.’ Such people are narcissistic to the nth degree. They can’t accept being flawed. And each person is flawed. So they have no idea of the damage they do around them–the mistakes they make. I know perfectly well I am a little crazy and make mistakes. So is every person. It is those people who can’t accept they are flawed and make mistakes who create havoc around them for they can’t judge they had a hand in the impact of those around them. Every person is flawed, sins and makes mistakes. And when you do, all you can do is ask for forgiveness from the ones you hurt with your actions.
Mar
30
2013
Somehow I felt relieved after both of my parents died. I could be my own person easier. They were not telling me I did not match up any longer or something I was doing wasn’t right. My father never told me exactly how I did not match up. I just knew I didn’t. I had gotten into debt and that was a cardinal sin and I did not make much money. That is what he was impressed by–money. Nothing I did. Mom was overly concerned about appearances. Looking right to the rest of the world. I did not have to deal with any of that any longer. They were not looking over my shoulders any longer. I was just relieved.
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