Universe after universe continues to unfold to me. Maybe, that is why I have no overwhelming desire to travel. My books are each an universe. My poems and other poems also beckon me to new worlds. There is countless ways my curiosity leads me. My garden is another world to explore. Each pet I have is distinctly different and I have to treat each one differently. There are so many worlds to explore just in my backyard. My extensive music collection is another universe. I just have to open my eyes and see what is in front of me–countless universes.

Some books you don’t even “see”. I had to move a big book case so some workers could remove the old thermostat and place a new one where I could reach it (the old one was hidden behind the bookcase). It was a job I was avoiding. I quickly removed dozens of books and threw them temporarily on the floor. I was amazed at the titles of some books. I either forgot I had them on the shelves or didn’t remember some titles. It was like getting some new books. Some had become “invisible”.

I Am A Homebody

Author: siggy

I am a homebody.  The grass is not, necessarily, greener somewhere else.  One of my sisters loves to travel.  I don’t have the same wanderlust.  It is true I don’t have the financial means she has.  Nevertheless, I like being home.  I still make discoveries every day in my backyard and in my house.  I am surrounded by my books and music.  I like having them at my fingertips.  I do have seven cats and four dogs that make it more difficult to just leave and go somewhere but I love my animals, particularly my dogs, and always miss them when we go away once or twice a year.  Sometimes I visit my oldest friend in New Orleans.  And I go by myself.  It is just easier that way.  When I return from a trip, home is just that much sweeter.  As Richard Thompson says in a song, ‘Every heart needs a home.’  Even when I am home I only go out briefly.

Books are very important to me.  In fact, I married a “book” person and we have books all over my house.  The books represent the legacy of other people.  They are not equal in value.  Some are more special than other.  And I refer to these more often.  Most of my “special” books are in my “pad”.  In one book case I have quite a few of them.  In another book case I have poetry books and most of mine (???) writing reference books.  My books are like my “friends.”  And I don’t want them too far away.

Books are more important than anything in the whole world.  For what they represent.  During the dark ages monks preserved the legacy from the books.  Books contain ideas.  And ideas change the world.  That is why a free press is so important and along with a free internet.  Politicians would love to stop the free and world wide dissemination of information.  Propaganda is nothing new.  We have it in Red China.  And in every country.  And don’t kid ourselves we have it in the US.  Most politicians are great “spin doctors”.  They really do not answer to us.  It is really big business. Now the politicians here want major web sites like Facebook to routinely spy on its users and turn over the information to the government.  There is a bill in Congress to do that right now.  It is our own government we need protection from.  The fight over censorship is nothing new.

I am very aware how my written words sound to my ear.  It does not matter what it is–a blog, essay, poem, etc.  It always makes a difference when I have read a piece out loud.  That was what was first–the oral tradition.  People did not have books.  They sat around a fire reciting their stories.  When I read things I have written out loud, I find errors.  Sometimes I have deleted a word or the tense is wrong.  Other times a word may not ring true and I have to insert a different one.  Sometimes there are duplication or repetition.  If I don’t want a phrase there, I may have to move it or delete it.  I may not like the cadence or sounds the words make.  It is always easier to find the errors after I have read the piece out loud.

I don’t want more things to come into my house, that is cluttered enough; although we have made much progress.  I am as responsible as my wife for more things coming into my house.  There is always another book or another piece of music to purchase.  When both of us go, someone will have a massive job to clear the house.  I mentioned this to my wife and she did not seem concerned about this.  We have made much progress in decluttering our house.  It seems a losing battle.  I really have to determine (in our will) what truly is important.  To me it is my journals and poems.  I don’t know what things my wife wants to bequeath if anything.  Right now we have a menagerie (seven cats and four dogs) but they are starting to get up in age, particularly, the cats, where the youngest one is nine years old.  I am sure my wife would want them to go to a good home if any animals were left when both of us are gone.  You never know how much time you have.  And death may come suddenly.  You never know.

I don’t know why having order of your possessions is so important.  And of course your mate has a different idea what that means.  We still have several hundred cassettes I don’t want or am not too interested in.  I am happy they are hidden from sight in the garage.  My wife considers them still valuable.  To be fair to her we have gotten rid of some but cassettes are really dinosaurs.  Almost no one wants them any longer.  I have to admit I still use my cassette deck.  Most of the time to play collections of music I put together.  Someone I know has all his music stored somewhere on a hard drive.  And he is not the only one.  LP’s are also dinosaurs.  They stopped making them in 1987 although vinyl is making a comeback.  I still have, maybe, two thousand stored in my living room.  As neatly and unobtrusively as I can.

Our living room has become neater.  There used to be piles of papers and our books on the bookcases were doubled up–no longer so I don’t want to complain too much about this room.  We have made progress in making it neater.  Every couple’s idea of order is different.  Some houses are less cluttered and some even look so clean you can eat off the floor.  Cleanliness and order are two different discussions.  They are not exactly the same thing.  And cleanliness is, also, another issue you have to work out between couples.  As order, usually each partner has a different idea what is acceptable.  Somehow you have to find the middle ground.

I Am Not My Diagnosis

Author: siggy

I am not my diagnosis.  I could state it but it does not matter.  I am a man who loves all kinds of music, writes poetry, letters and other things.  I love nature particularly the birds I attract with all my feeders.  I am married to a woman I love who is not quite the same but loves a lot of the same things particularly music from the same era.  She is not perfect but close.  We both love to read and I have more books in my house that I ever had before.  She loves mysteries.  I don’t.  But our tastes in books and music is very eclectic.  Music and books are all over the house.  She usually lets me be.  I am not as good as her in that regard and sometimes have to learn to be quiet.  We have our own space in our house.  I love the mountains, the lakes and ocean.  So does she.  We live on the edge of country.  I am all these things and more.  I am not my diagnosis I have to state again.  That is just an artificial artifact.  The doctors need that and my insurance.  That is the only purpose of my diagnosis.  It is not me.

I read in every position and in every room.  I read in bed–although not long and I am careful what I read:  I don’t want nightmares if I can help it.  I keep books and literary magazines in the bathroom.  In fact, my wife bought and put together a small cabinet she spent hours researching just to keep my reading material neatly in the bathroom near the toilet.  Of course, the reading I do there is in bursts.  Most of the reading I do is in bursts.  It was amazing I actually made it through Keith Richard’s autobiography–all 540 pages of it.  It is really rare for me to read a novel.  My favorite room has a spot right next the comfortable though ragged Lazy Boy chair where I keep my favorite devotional, “My Utmost For His Highest”, by Oswald Chambers.  Most of my favorite books are in that room so I know where to find them when I am looking for a particular passage.  I love to read and I have never had so many books in my house.  I married a “book” person.

There is always another book around the corner.  Sometimes I don’t know where they come from although I always remember who I “borrowed” a book from.  There is no lack of interesting books although you can become a dilettante and only sample a book here or there and only get a narrow picture of what the author wanted to convey.  There are some books, though, that are meant to be read that way.  Open up the book anywhere and start reading.  Novels obviously have to be read from cover to cover although I have no compunction to stop reading it if it does not keep my attention.  I enjoy a good story and am partial to animal’s stories:  authors who describe their special relationships to animals.  My office has my favorite books and special books that are marked up that I would never lend to anyone.  They are like “old friends” to me and I want them at my disposal if I need to refer to them.  I can not see how much an I Pad can possibly replace my library and there is nothing like leafing through a book and then another.  I like touching a book and turning pages and opening it anywhere.  There is always an interesting book around the corner.

There are too many things in this house.  And it has me depressed.  There are too many piles in different corners.  It is just too hard going through this stuff.  I see a stack of canceled checks on the desk.  Your father has been dead twenty years.  Why are they not in the trash?  We can’t even throw away broken down electronics.  That video/dvd player does work any more.  Why is it sitting on those records?  I even tried it again.  I already told my other it no longer works.  None of the lights on it worked.  I just want to pitch it.  It is preventing me from going through the pile of LP’s it is laying on.  Why are we keeping those two stacks of “Architectural Digest”.  When is the last time you looked at an issue.  I have to run everything by you.  You have to make a decision on everything.  All of this has me depressed.  Why don’t you let me have control of the decisions on most things.  And when I complain of too many things still in the house, you tell me of all the things you have given away and pitched.  There may be a lot of truth to that.  There is still too many things in this house.  And I don’t want to work so hard in eliminating them.  There are still too many piles, boxes and books and LP’s everywhere.