Dec
14
2009
I Have To Allow Her To Disagree But It Is Difficult
Author: siggyI have to allow my wife to disagree but it is difficult and that causes me all kinds of problems. We had little fights, usually, when I have felt she was unreasonable and had no business meddling in something that was my really my business (???).
For example, our car needed vacuuming and I wanted to go into town to the local car wash to use the vacuum cleaner. She said we have a perfectly good Shop Vac to use on the car. That was true.
To use it, I had to run an extension cord outside and drag out the Shop Vac from the basement. I would rather plunk three quarters in the machine in town, quickly vacuum the car and be done with it. When she found out what I did, she gave me the silent treatment for a few hours.
The latest spat was when I was making cheesecake cupcakes and I ran out vanilla. She said I would be fine if I swish out the bottle for the remaining part of the recipe.
I ran down to the store for more vanilla. She was not too happy with me and I became angry at her for giving me a hard time.
To me, it was “small shit” and I could not understand why it was so important to her. The problem was really my reaction to her. I became angry, raised my voice. It is amazing what couples fight over.
To me life is too short. What usually happens is our will clashes. And then sparks fly. I guess this is the perennial fight between couples: how they resolve differences.
How many marriages broke up because he left toothpaste smeared on the bathroom sink one time too often? Or some small thing like that taking the couple over the edge.
Marriage is working out every detail between the partners. And there are probably some problems you will never resolve but hopefully not too many over the span of the relationship.
Hopefully most of the “rough” edges” between the two of you get smoothed out over time. Too much unresolved conflict is not healthy.
