Siggy's Blurbs: Siggy's Edge of Country …

I was struggling to fall asleep for five or six nights. I knew it was due to anxiety which was caused by fear. I happened to open up a book I had on faith and found several passages I had underlined. The words were just what I needed to allay my anxiety. I kept referring to them the next few days. I started sleeping better. And not taking so long to fall asleep. It was a book I had not opened in a long time. I must have been dealing with similar issues before. It was just the right words I needed to hear. Books can be lifesavers.

Tags: anxiety, books can be lifesavers, faith, falling asleep quickly, fear, God, sleep
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There is nothing sweeter than forgiveness.  It was only two days ago tempers between my wife and I flared over finances.  (Is there anything else couples fight over?)  Sure, but that seems to be a big area of disagreement.  Sparks flew between the two of us.  I did not act too nice or becoming.  She slept terribly that night and the only reason I didn’t was I took a pill at bed time.  We resolved our differences when both of us were calmer.  Sometimes you have to sit on opinions.  It really does no good to state your side over and over, which I did.  I forgot I needed to give my partner time.  The next day after the argument we hugged and made up.  There really is nothing sweeter than forgiveness.

Tags: anxiety, argument, couples, fight, finances, forgiveness, hugged, made up, my wife, opinions, resolve differences, sleep, tempers flared
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I shuddered when I saw my Mom’s photograph.  As far as I can tell it was a photograph taken in the cemetery when my father died.  She was this grim looking woman who had a long brimmed black hat on and steadied herself with a cane.  When I viewed this photograph again, she had been dead nine years.  I had forgotten about her.  How crazy she really was.  She tried to control Dad with all her illnesses she was always complaining about.  He resisted this.  She was hard to get away from.  When I was a child and young adult, I had no choice.  I could not get away from her.  Her fears and anxieties ran her life and those around her.  I had forgotten her and how nuts she truly was and how incredibly controlling she was.  And she was viewed sane.  I saw this first hand.  The photograph of her brought back all these negative feelings about her.  It is a terrible thing to say:  she was my Mother but part of me was glad to get rid of her.  There is so much, though, you can discard.  I can only escape her to a certain degree.  I know part of her is in me.  And I am aware I still owed her a debt.  There were traits she transmitted to me I am glad to have.  It took a long time to shed parts of her I wanted to.  And some I never will.

Tags: anxiety, cane, cemetery, complaining, controlling woman, crazy, father, fear, fears and anxieties, illness, mother, negative feelings, photograph
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‘The poor man thinks money will buy his happiness, the rich man knows it won’t.’  The first time I heard that said it was my pastor (and friend) who told me that.  I am sure it was not his original words.  It is true when you are struggling to pay your bills it is a common illusion.  And not being able to put food on your table is certainly anxiety provoking.  Money can’t replace your sense of purpose.  It is true sometimes your job is a good fit.

You always wonder how it would be not to worry about money.  King Solomon was the richest man in the world, had it all, lacked for nothing and all he could say in the book he wrote was, ‘Vanity, everything is vanity.’  Riches can not buy peace of mind.  If you read Ecclesiastes, the book he is credited with writing in the Bible, and do not read the ending; you miss the whole point.  In it he said the beginning of wisdom is the fear of the Lord.  Every person needs a relationship with the Almighty.  It all come down to that.  Money never satisfies.  Ask the billionaire who can buy anything whether money can buy him happiness.  I think you know the answer.

Tags: "vanity everything is vanity", anxiety, beginning of wisdom, Bible, billionaire, Ecclesiastes, fear of the Lord, God, King Solomon, money, money can't buy happiness, pastor, pay your bills, peace of mind, poor man, put food on the table, rich man, riches, sense of purpose, The Almighty, the Lord, wisdom
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People are housed in different prisons.  Sometimes it is their circumstances or attitudes that can imprison them.  Let’s just talk about the first.

I have a friend who can not easily leave the house.  His wife needs around the clock care and she gets very anxious when he is not not there.

How many people think nothing of stepping out of their house and getting a burger, maybe, at the nearby McDonald’s and shopping at their local supermarket?

It is a simple freedom yet there are those that are home bound that can not partake of them so easily for different reasons.

His wife would do any thing in the whole world if she could do something as simple as give someone a hug.  And people, sometimes, complain about washing dishes.  She can’t do either:  she is paralyzed.

Sometimes you really do not know what you’ve got until you lose it.  And if you can get that simple freedom back you suddenly appreciate it more.  And sometimes you can’t go back.  It is lost forever and all you can do is mourn its loss.

Tags: anxiety, appreciate, around the clock care, don't know what you've got until you lose it, freedom, give a hug, home-bound, lost forever, McDonald's, mourn its loss, our attitudes, our circumstances as prisons, paralyzed, simple freedoms, supermarket, wash dishes, we live in different prisons, you can't go back
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Your life crystallizes when the end is near.  Let me say, no one knows when his/her end comes.  We continue to keep the illusion our life is forever.  It certainly is an illusion.

Everyone knows the only thing certain is death and taxes to use a cliche.  Yet we act as if that truth is false.

My declining health put this truth in sharper focus again.  I do not want to waste time, which is my most precious resource although there are times I squander it.

I realize the more I can do His will, the more I can fulfill my calling the less regret I have.  I certainly can not tell you what your calling is.  Or what your tiny voice is commanding you to do.

First you have to allow open spaces in your life.  And then you can listen to the tiny voice only you can hear.  And life is full of others who are eager to tell us what to do including our loved ones.

No one knows how much time they have on this earth.  That is a great mystery.  Sometimes when you are ill you think you have an idea how long you have here but you really do not know.

What I do know is the more I listen to that tiny voice nudging me the less anxiety I experience in my own life.  And I am concerned less when that time will come.  Peace of mind usually accompanies doing His will.

I have to face each day prayerfully and allow for those empty spaces so I can listen to that tiny voice only I can hear.

And the more I obey it the more peace of mind I have.  And I thank God for each new dawn I face.  It does not really matter as long as I am doing His will.

Tags: a great mystery, anxiety, declining health, do His will, do not waste time, face each day prayerfully, fulfill my calling, God, how long do we have, illness, illusion, life is forever, my life, new dawn, obey God, only thing certain is death and taxes, open spaces in your life, our loved ones, peace of mind, regrets, squander time, tell us what to do, thank God, the end is near, time is a precious resource, time on earth, truth, your calling, your life crystallizes, your tiny voice
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