The first thing you do with broken records is realize you are one, too. Our mate appears, at times, to be a broken record: the same problems come up again and again and the same solutions are offered. And your partner does not seem to approach their problems any differently.
Be compassionate. You are no different. As you do not want your mate to give up on you, do not give up on your mate.
Each of us are very flawed and not only that appear “stuck” sometimes. Give your mate the same privilege. You do not want her to give up on you so do not give up on her.
I often wondered why someone should never give up on a drug addict. Bear with me. This is an appropriate example.
Sometimes a drug addict is repeatedly in and out of facilities. One should never give up on that person and I have to say you do not want to enable the person but nevertheless you should never give up on that person. The reason for that is simple. One never knows when that person is going to turn the corner, recover and stop being an addict.
In the same way, entrenched habits sometimes will change. The thing is not to alienate the other in the process. In a marriage each person comes with baggage. The person often is not aware of some of that baggage. That is one thing marriage does: change the other. That is the most common institution to do that.
Every marriage is really dysfunctional. The family each of the persons grew up in was dysfunctional. The only question is to what degree. We are all imperfect.
What marriage does (or any other primary relationship) is to bring out your shortcomings.
In a relationship nothing is usually hidden for too long, and to go back to the original topic every partner hears the same old story from the other. Anyway, that is the way it seems after awhile.
All you can do is love your partner. Sometimes a partner will turn the corner in a certain area and sometimes not. Each partner has to love the other. I am convinced marriage was set up for one reason–to teach us how to love unconditionally.
We are all broken records at times but all we want is to be loved despite our faults. So next time your partner sounds likes a broken record realize you are one, too, just a different one. Flaws are flaws.
Tags: be compassionate, broken-record, do not give up, dysfunctional, faults, God, habits, love, love unconditionally, love your partner, marriage, problems, relationships, same-old-story, we all have baggage, we all want to be loved, we are all flawed, we are all imperfect
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