Apr
17
2011
Another rite of spring: I put up fresh nectar I prepared for the hummingbirds. In past springs the first usually appears in the end of April so let us see exactly when the first one comes to the feeder. I did not want to put up nectar too soon. It would just mold. This year I decided my birthday would be a good time to do it. Now my wife and I will wait for the first one to come to our feeder.
Apr
16
2011
It was cold, wet and rainy today. I watched the many birds come to our feeders: titmouse, cardinals, goldfinch and others. The weather did not dismay them. There was a steady stream of them. It was one of those days I wanted to go back to sleep. Or if anything else see a movie. I really did not want to go too far. And thank God for the heat and shelter. Maybe, I will read that book I set aside. It certainly was a good day to bury oneself in a book.
Apr
13
2011
Today I will greet with a spirit of gratitude. It is so easy to be ungrateful. To look at your life and see many things that are lacking. I will change the focus of it and thank the Almighty for all his gifts. He has given me so much. And I have to thank Him for so much: Every breath I possess is His. All the material wealth I possess is, also, His. It is only mine temporarily. It is only on loan. As well as the people He puts in my life. All on loan. As well as my wife and direct relatives–my two sisters and cousins. All on loan. I have to thank God for all of it. As well as my friends. I will thank God for all of it and continue to greet this day with a spirit of gratitude. It is all His.
Apr
12
2011
Sometimes it helps to have a plan of attack (regarding the realization I had become depressed). Sure I have to now do the “work” but I can chip away at the different reasons I had become depressed. It always helps to have a plan. All I have to do is execute it and with time my depression will lift. My plan is to deal with one thing at a time. I can’t predict when but I can say with certainly, at some point, most of my depression will evaporate. It is the helpless feelings accompanying the depression that indicate I have work to do and this gives me hope. What, also, gives me hope is the realization that every depression will end. It is not forever. I have some control. I have to exert it. Your depression lifts one degree at a time.
Apr
12
2011
My depression was due to an accumulation of things not from any major event. I realized that today. I had to work on one thing at a time and eventually the depression would lift. I had to look at my life and exert control on the matters that were bothering me. There were things that were out of my control but nevertheless I could correct some things that had me depressed and were in my control. I had to exert the power I had and eventually my depression would lift. One thing at a time.
Apr
11
2011
My latest discovery in my garden was a white hyacinth was blooming. I always love their fragrance. If you do not pay close attention to your garden, you will miss much. Plants and flowers have their own timetable, so you have to take a quick sweeping glance every day or two. You might be surprised at the discoveries you make. You just have to pay closer attention. There is a lot that is at our fingertips. What other things do we miss for our attention is directed elsewhere?
Apr
11
2011
I want to stay put today. It is going to be a gorgeous day. There are things to do around the house and particularly the garden. There are primrose that need to be planted–four different colored buds and they are putting more flowers out. Radishes need to be planted. Onion sets, too. The earth has to be prepared for them. There is only a small window for that. They like the cold weather. I do not want to go far today. If I only did those three things today, I will be happy. The furthest I want to go away is in town. It is going to be a beautiful day.
Apr
11
2011
I don’t want this day to slip by. It is actually going to hit eighty today: A precursor of summer. And then the temperatures will go down to normal–fifties and sixties. Today is a great day for a walk. I do not want to let this day go unnoticed. I want to experience the warmth and blue skies thoroughly. It is too easy to take your days for granted. This is one day I do not want to slip by. I want to take a walk and luxuriate in the heat. It has been a long winter.
Apr
9
2011
I still watch my plants. I am still amazed by them. Like they are run by some invisible clock, they grow or get bigger. And I keep a close eye on them when they do this. Even when they remain dormant, I keep an eye on them. And rejoice when they start growing. I am not alone in this pursuit. A lot of people have house plants. The proper light and sufficient water is usually all the care they need. If only our needs were so simple. It is others who watch our growth. We can’t see it so easily. Plants are easier to detect whether they are getting proper nourishment. Although for both patience is needed and time is a factor.
Apr
7
2011
It was a small discovery: a miniature daffodil had bloomed. It might have been one I had bought in the store and she planted it after it had bloomed.
I wanted to show my wife it. I checked on it today and found out the flower was lying on the ground separated from its stem. I never got to show it to my wife. I felt bad. I was really careful I would not step on it. It was a little to the side.
Most flowers are so fragile–here today, gone tomorrow. Maybe, it will have another bloom. I just felt a sense of loss I never was able to show my wife it. Now the bloom was on the ground. I just felt bad.
Apr
5
2011
It is only a room yet… It seems as if we had talked about converting it to a guest room forever. The room had been referred to as a ‘junk’ room. It is extremely cluttered. And every time I look inside that room I despair. We will never straighten it up or so it seems. It would take a miracle. Or so it seems. I do not know why it is so hard to get rid of things but it is. Greater miracles have happened in my life so maybe one day that room will become a guest room. We will see.
Apr
5
2011
Every time I look up at that mountain facing my town I expect to see a bald eagle. Last summer someone told me that two eagles were nesting there and he had a telescope trained on its nest.
The nameless mountain is across the mile wide River. Every time I look at the sky and wonder whether I will see at least one and best of all two. I know they probably fly up and down the River seeking fish for their prey. I wonder about their young and when they leave the nest.
I keep peering at the sky and wonder how long will it be before I spot one. Before I moved to this state I had never seen a bald eagle. Of course, I did not live near mountains and this magnificent River. I will catch a glimpse of this bird when I least expect it. I continue to look up the sky and mountains and River.
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