Siggy's Blurbs: Siggy's Edge of Country …

Life is always about connections:  the relationships you make and maintain.  You should never neglect your mate but there is always a danger your relationship will become stale.  Sometimes a simple thing like leaving the house and doing a chore is good.  You find out others have problems and you are not alone.  People have a way of expressing their present concerns.  Sometimes it is a question of eavesdropping.  You are just there.  Like shopping in a food aisle.  Other times, you may want to reach out in some way.  Each person has a deep need to be listened to.  You just may be that person but you have to make yourself available.  No one lives in a vacuum.  Sometimes you have to take a chance–open up to someone.  There is no such thing as small talk.  Yes, it is true it may stay there but often it is an opening for you to take.

It is just not good to stay in the house all the time.  Our thoughts just revolve.  And we need to break the cycle.  Sometimes it means taking chances with perfect strangers.  You never know when you will meet an angel.  And furthermore how can you possibly make new friends if you do not take a chance by revealing something personal about you?  Each friend you have was once a stranger.  Never stop reaching out.  Life is about relationships.  In John Dunn’s words, ‘No man is an island’.  We don’t exist by ourselves.  We are all connected.  Each person has a deep need to love and be loved.

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Depression is not necessarily a bad thing.  Depression and despair are companions.  It simply may be telling you it is time to reexamine your value system.  What else is there to life?  Maybe I need to make some changes in my life.  This process does not occur without some pain.  Psychic pain translated in depression (and despair) is trying to get your attention.  There is no easy way out.  It has to be worked through.  Your depression is not the “enemy.”  Everything God has created is there for a reason.  Now is the time to evaluate how you spend your time.  This is a transition period so learn from it.  Depression is not necessarily a bad thing.  Your mind and body are connected.  Listen to what it is telling you.  Life is a journey.  There is an endpoint.  And that is not a bad thing.  It lends urgency to your life.  And there will always be loose ends.  You just want to minimize them so listen to your mind and body.  Everything is connected.

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Somehow I have to refrain from becoming angry.  I need to develop more patience.  There is a time and place for anger but if I fly off the handle too easily something is wrong.

I have to slow down, listen more closely.  ‘Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger.’  Those words from Proverbs suggest a formula to avoid anger.

The first part of it forces you to slow down.  That is the only way you can be quick to listen.  You first have to refrain from talking, focus on the words of the person talking.

At the same time you may be able to digest the words spoken to you better.  The last part of the equation ‘be slow to anger’ suggests that if you listen better and also do not talk it may become a little easier not to react in anger.

These scriptures from Proverbs give me hope.  My wife has told me I repeatedly interrupt her.  I have to work on this.

Tags: "quick to listen slow to speak and slow to anger", anger, Bible, develop patience, fly off the handle, hope, listen, my wife, Old Testament, Proverbs, talking
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All I want you to do is listen, not feel sorry for me.  The prognosis was not good.  My kidney function had declined and I might have to undergo dialysis within a year.

My depression further increased when I learned only a third of the people undergoing dialysis survive five years and there was, also, a greater chance of stroke and heart disease.

Suddenly I realized I might not make it even to sixty-five.  My mortality became real.  Everyone knows that they are going to die eventually but act as if death will never come and when it does others act surprised and think it is a terrible thing.

I wanted to talk openly about this latest development but I felt odd bringing it up with certain loved ones and friends.  Death has become a taboo.  It is not discussed openly in our society.

I did not want sympathy.  I did not want others to feel sorry for me.  Instinctively I knew who I could not discuss my situation with.  I felt odd with them.

With those people when they ask me how I am doing, I just say “fine.”  I really wanted someone to listen, to be able to share my fears–my fears of hopelessness, of being in pain and discomfiture, dependent on others, afraid of losing my mental facilities.

I just wanted to go out in grace and peace.  Death was knocking.  There are no certainties.  It just did not look good.  I will grab every bit of control I can in my situation.  I just did not want to do it alone.

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