Siggy's Blurbs: Siggy's Edge of Country …

Peace always revolves around grace.  Each party commits mistakes.  Conflict always exists.  There can not be peace without grace.  And grace does not come about without forgiveness.

If you talk about conflict between nations, there are always atrocities committed by both parties.  Conflict is on-going.  The only thing that breaks the vicious cycle is forgiveness.  We don’t earn that.  Only grace enables a nation to forgive the other.  Then the cycle is broken.  It is done one person at a time.

Let us get more specific.  Let us talk briefly about Iraq.  Thousands of civilians in that country lost their lives in the fray and civil unrest.  No one talks about them.  Many civilians died.  Many people are mourning their close relatives who died there.  Yes, many Americans died there or were injured, too.  And their survivors are mourning them, also.

There is only one thing that will stop the carnage–forgiveness brought on by grace.  And as I said before you can’t earn it.  Each party has to forgive the other.  Vengeance does not solve anything.  That only happens by grace.

Tags: conflict, forgiveness, God, grace, peace, peace and grace and forgiveness, war and conflict in Iraq
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Why do couples fight so hard about money?  The reasons are simple although not so easily corrected.  What you spend your money on represents your values.

And it is also a control thing:  who makes the decision on what.  And sometimes when you do not have enough you bicker more.

I have no easy answers except a couple needs to make up their mind who makes the decisions on what.  It is also a matter of trust.  Usually one partner is freer with spending and the other is tighter.

That is actually a good thing.  You have to work things out between the two of you and each person acts as a check and balance on the other.

A couple has to have agreement on their handling of money.  Otherwise, there will be constant conflict in that area.  That is one major area each couple just has to work out.

Tags: a control thing, check and balance, conflict, couples, fight about money, handling of money, marriage, money, trust, your values
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Things are never more important than people.  Love is what makes the world go around.  Sure order in your house is important as well as the other objects in your house.

Nevertheless never more than the inhabitants who live in the house.  Sometimes a messy house is well lived in and often one you feel more comfortable.

I always get a little nervous when I enter a house and everything in it has its place and looks perfect–a showcase for a magazine.

To me, houses are meant to be lived in not just looked at.  That is often a source of conflict–how neat you want your house to look.  With kids, it is near impossible.

It is a little easier when only two people live in the house although in our house–not much easier.  Too many people are overly concerned about dirt and disorder.

I am well aware not every one has the gift of hospitality.  And there are many people who you just can’t drop by but the few I can I am grateful for.

Tags: comfortable, conflict, dirt and disorder in your house, gift of hospitality, God, grateful, house meant to be lived in, kids, love makes the world go around, magazine showcase house, messy house, neat house, order in your house, people more important than things, things in your house, well lived in home
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You have to get past ‘the glow’ in a relationship.  At first everything about your mate seems perfect but then conflict comes and you realize how flawed your other is.

Realizing, also, you are flawed, too, helps.  You have greater compassion toward your mate.  The honeymoon is now over and whether you survive as a couple is how you work out your differences.

It is in the crucible of fire where your survival is determined.  Somehow you need to work out differences between you and smooth out the rough edges.

That means there will be conflict between the two of you.  And that is normal.  Compromise is the key and that is work.  Then your real marriage begins.  And there is no easy path there.  And everybody’s path is different.  It is yours alone.

Tags: compromise is the key, conflict, God, have compassion, honeymoon, relationships, smooth out the rough edges, we are all flawed, work, work out differences, your mate
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A marriage (or any other committed relationship) gives you another chance to do your childhood all over.  That seems like an odd statement but think about it:  your mate comes from at best similarly though not totally alike childhoods raised by different parents.

You always have blind spots.  And so does your partner.  Marriage gives you an opportunity to expose some of these.  And change in the process.  Live with a person day in and day out and you have seen the positive and negative points of your partner.

And some of these points you were blind to until you had them pointed out usually in some kind of conflict.  Every relationship has conflict.  And conflict forces you to reexamine attitudes you possess that you may not have given much thought to until they caused you problems.

Usually couples who do not fight with one another are not dealing with their differences and flaws they possess.  Compromises ensure the success in the relationship.  And sparks usually fly in the process.

Eventually hopefully the rough edges between both of you are smoothed out.  Marriage gives you the opportunity to face blind spots and grow.  In a way no other common institution does.

Tags: blind spots, childhood, compromise, conflict, couples, marriage, parents, relationships, smooth out rough edges, sparks fly, we are flawed, your mate, your partner
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My wife is truly my serendipity.  God gave me my present wife.  I was not looking for another.  My first marriage had broken up.  She came along when I least expected it.

There is so many reasons I can give why she is a blessing but I will only quickly state a few.  She encourages my writing and is also a fine editor.  She also makes me laugh.  She is not perfect but close.

I could not imagine a life without her.  We both love music and grew up in the same time frame so both of us love a lot of the same music.  All that is a gift.

She certainly is a “better fit” than my first wife.  Most of the time we like each other and laugh a lot together.  I consider her “serendipity”.  I did nothing to deserve her.  This is our seventh Christmas together.  She truly is a blessing.

And may I never forget that when there is any tension or conflict between us.  When I told my doctor my wife was driving me “crazy”, he said “Don’t all wives do that?!”

Tags: blessing, Christmas together, conflict, drive me crazy, encourage my writing, fine editor, gift, God, laugh a lot, love music, makes me laugh, marriage, my doctor, my wife, serendipity, she is a blessing, tension, we like each other, wives
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