Siggy's Blurbs: Siggy's Edge of Country …

An open letter to an young adult struggling with mental illness:

I am sorry you had to spend New Year’s in an hospital.  I pray you get the help you need in the hospital (and when you get out).  You hardly eating for several days did not help.  Medications can do strange things if you are not eating properly.

Unfortunately when you get diagnosed mentally ill and exhibit aberrant behavior like paranoia and psychosis others simply say you are “mentally ill” when the very drugs you are taking may be causing you those symptoms.  I can’t say for sure.

I still don’t think you are on the right medication.  You did well on one drug but it had an unfortunate side effect.  It is very difficult taking medication because you have to admit you have a problem.  After all these years I still don’t like I take medication.

I urge you not to go back to your parents.  It is not good for you.  Everything centers around a job.  You may not get there immediately.  Your independence.  Your residence.  Your ability to choose your own doctor.  Everything.  It is up to you.  You have to take more responsibility for your life.  It does not happen overnight.

You have to find a regiment of medication that helps you.  It is just an aid–no more.  You still have to help yourself.  When you become stable again please look for work.  Don’t expect others to take care of you.  You still have to take responsibility for your life.  The more you do so, the better you will feel about yourself.

Love

From one who went through it and wants to make the journey for another a little easier.

Tags: doctor, get a job, help yourself, hospital, independence, look for work, medication, mental illness, paranoia, parents, psychiatric drugs, psychosis, residence, take care of you, take responsibility for your life
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Nothing is permanent.  Mates and relatives die.  Friends move away or drift away from you.  Or even die.  The complexion of neighborhoods may change.  Some people move away, others move in.  Nothing is forever.

I remember once visiting my old neighborhood, where I grew up in and realized the community had changed drastically.

There was nothing no more to keep me there. My parents and friends had moved away.  I could not go back to my old haunts.  They were not there any longer.

I had to start all over somewhere else.  And I did in Morristown.  For fifteen years I lived there.  Then my life took me somewhere else.  Pennsylvania.

Of course, at some point you realize you have so much time and have to decide where you are going to spend the remainder of your life.

There is something to be said for roots.  When you spend a lifetime in one area and invested time and energy in reaching out to others, you have roots and who else will want to help you but these very people you have spent a lifetime with.

Moving far away from your roots, the friends you cultivated for years and close relatives may leave you stranded.  There may come a time you need their help.  You will not be young forever.

Of course, there is an assumption you care about your roots and friends.  There is so many times you can move and develop roots in another area.  That usually take years.  Sometimes a lifetime.  All that needs to be considered in a major move.

Tags: friends, New Jersey, not young forever, nothing is forever, nothing is permanent, parents, Pennsylvania, people die, people move away, reaching out to others, relatives, your roots
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A marriage (or any other committed relationship) gives you another chance to do your childhood all over.  That seems like an odd statement but think about it:  your mate comes from at best similarly though not totally alike childhoods raised by different parents.

You always have blind spots.  And so does your partner.  Marriage gives you an opportunity to expose some of these.  And change in the process.  Live with a person day in and day out and you have seen the positive and negative points of your partner.

And some of these points you were blind to until you had them pointed out usually in some kind of conflict.  Every relationship has conflict.  And conflict forces you to reexamine attitudes you possess that you may not have given much thought to until they caused you problems.

Usually couples who do not fight with one another are not dealing with their differences and flaws they possess.  Compromises ensure the success in the relationship.  And sparks usually fly in the process.

Eventually hopefully the rough edges between both of you are smoothed out.  Marriage gives you the opportunity to face blind spots and grow.  In a way no other common institution does.

Tags: blind spots, childhood, compromise, conflict, couples, marriage, parents, relationships, smooth out rough edges, sparks fly, we are flawed, your mate, your partner
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Sometimes our families know us too well (and don’t).  I am just referring now to the family I grew up–particularly my two sisters and my parents (though both dead).

Why is it your immediate family dismisses your gifts?  You have to get validation from the outside?

I remember the last conversation I had with my Dad.  He was much more impressed with the million his future son-in-law made selling his company than anything I did.

It is true I was not successful in making money (or amassing a fortune) but I spent a lifetime writing and none of that mattered.  Only Money.

My two sisters also take my gifts for granted.  Maybe, that is why we have to make friends—people who are not blood.  They choose to be our friend.

They are attracted to us by who we are although it is still disappointing to me that I never was truly appreciated by the family I grew up with.

Tags: amass a fortune, be appreciated by family, immediate family, making money, million dollars, my Dad, our families, our friends, parents, sisters, son-in-law, spend a lifetime writing, success, validation from others, who we are, writer, writing, your gifts
Posted in balance, death, God, knowledge&learning, life, local, money, relationships, time, writing, your job/mission/profession | No Comments »

The question posed by the title seems odd: it is a paraphrase from the book “Walden” by Henry David Thoreau. The exact quote states “We do not ride on the railroad; it rides upon us.”

This book was written over one hundred and fifty years ago. Thoreau later on the same page asks, “Why should we live with such hurry and waste of life?”

His statements are more apropos than ever. We live in a world of instant communication. A tragedy in a different part of the world thousands of miles away occurs and the news reports it right away.

If you go to a mall you would think the cell phones of teenagers are glued to their ears.

What Thoreau was asking was do we use the technology at our disposal usefully or does it control us. This question is more relevant than ever before today.

In the days of sophisticated cell phones (and computers) that can almost do anything you have to ask is it all necessary. Teenagers got along fifty years ago without cell phones (and parents still kept track of them).

Not too long ago I was in a car that was navigating by GPS and its directions were wrong and the driver almost did not believe I knew the right turn to make.

You have to wonder how much true communication is really taking place? I still prefer talking to others face to face. Yes, I will use a cell phone occasionally. Nevertheless it does not run my life.

Now every household has a computer, multiple cell phones, a microwave and all kinds of other technology. And I do not care that cell phones can almost do anything except dance.

Thoreau was really asking another question, also, the need to go faster and faster and no one asks the questions why is this speed so necessary and why do we want to go there. We can fly across continents quicker than ever before but so what.

The world has become smaller but not really. True communication is usually not instantaneous. The new technology has not really made this any easier. It only gives the illusion it is. And don’t be fooled. It takes commitment and effort to truly understand another human being.

Tags: "railroad rides upon us", cell phones, communication, computers, does technology control us, go faster and faster, God, GPS, Henry David Thoreau, microwave, parents, such hurry, talking to others face to face, technology, teenagers, true communication, Walden
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