Siggy's Blurbs: Siggy's Edge of Country …

Don’t trap others:  always give each person a gracious way out.  I was, particularly, thinking of my “other.”  I try to give her as much freedom as I can.  If you make a request, make sure she has a way out.  Don’t trap her.  Always give her a gracious way to say, “No.”  Your mate does not exist solely for you.  She has her own set of desires and aspirations.  Hopefully you can help her with a few and with her growth.  Encouragement not entrapment.  You’re supposed to be her helpmate.

Tags: a gracious way out, desires and aspirations, encouragement, freedom, helpmate, my other, not entrapment, your mate
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I want to thank the people who are in my life.  I know most people will never read this and I will leave out people and I realize Thanksgiving has passed but it is never too late to do this.  All these people take the “extra step” and I do not want to take any of them for granted.

First the medical team

(1) Dr. Hume for your kindness and helpfulness

(2) Dr. Cornelius for your patience

(3) Dr. Blake for her thoroughness

(4) Dr. Mital for your ability to listen

Then,  P & R and Bob and his team who takes care of our cars and keeps them running smoothly, I thank you for your honesty and competence and for standing up to your work even when it costs you and most of all for always giving me the time of day when I have a question about my vehicle

For both of my sisters Fran and Marilyn who are always there when I need them

For Tony for your support:  you know who you are

For Sara, who I have known for over fifteen years and is one of the reasons I still write for her encouragement never abated

For the audience at the local coffeehouse who laughed at my material encouraging me to continue to find the humorous in everyday situations

For Elizabeth Yon wherever you are and the years you spent moderating our writing group

My two kids who years ago I thought I never would have but they came and have blessed me immeasurably

All the many people who God put in my life including those from my small church who have blessed me with their presence

To Sonya who welcomes everyone at the local post office and gives me one more reason why I want to stay in my small town and Perry county

And most of all for my wife who inspires me and still makes me laugh after all these years and came into my life when I was not looking, who thinks she is better than me at Scrabble (she did lose the first ten games she played against me).  As an editor she has no equal.  My website and blog would never have come into being if it was not for her (she is the webmaster).  I “pop” out my bed each morning because of her.  And she bakes a pretty “mean” apple pie.  She gives me a reason to cook.  And that is no small thing.  And after six years she still wants to sleep in our bed.  I call her “serendipity” although she can really be stubborn (for that matter so can I); nevertheless, I thank the Lord every day for her.  I did nothing to deserve her.

Tags: apple pie, audience, blessed, blog, car mechanic, cars, church, coffeehouse, competence, cooking, doctor, editor, encouragement, find the humor, friends, God, honesty, inspires me, makes me laugh, my kids, my wife, post office, Scrabble, serendipity, sisters, small town, stubborn, take for granted, take the extra step, thank people, thank the Lord every day, thank-you, thanksgiving, the Lord, those who serve, webmaster, website, writer, writers group, writing
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Are you listening to your muse?  Only you know for sure.  I can not tell you.  Different people call it by different names:  your intuition, your “third ear” (Theodore Reich), subconscious.  There are so many different names out there for that.

I find it interesting that communication is nine tenths non-verbal according to some psychologists and we place such emphasis on the rational mind.  There are some signs when you are not listening to your Muse.  Constant unrest in your life might indicate you are not.

Your conscience is another word for your Muse.  It is the tiny voice inside you that if you ignore all the time will not go away completely causing internal unrest.

A sense of well being, peace may indicate you are on the right track.  Only you can truly know what your Muse is telling you to do.  Sometimes it does not make sense and requires a leap of faith.  And you might know only later you have followed your Muse correctly.

The world is full of people who are quick to tell you what to do and you have to pick your friends carefully or they might too easily lead you astray.  Following your muse can be a lonely path.

These are just some indications whether you truly have followed your Muse and again only you can know and can listen to that tiny voice only you can hear.  I hope these words can encourage you.

Tags: communication is nine tenths non verbal, constant unrest, encourage, encouragement, God, intuition, lead you astray, leap of faith, listen to your muse, lonely path, on the right track, peace, people tell you what to do, pick friends carefully, psychologist, rational mind, sense of well-being, subconscious, Theodore Reich, third ear, tiny voice inside, your conscience, your muse
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Today is Father’s Day:  it is not a given:  you earn it.  You earn it by doing your job right, supporting your family, going to work every day, even when you do not feel like it.

You earn it by spending time with your kids, day in day out.  Being a father is a privilege.  It is not simply genetics.  It is loving your kids even when they “mess up”.

You know damn well you are flawed.  Being a father is apologizing to your kids when you made a mistake.  God knows, we all err.

Being a father is encouraging each kid to follow his/her dreams even if that was not a path you would have followed but each kid has their own dream.

Being a father is encouraging your kid when they fall down and encouraging them to get up again and not give up.

There are so many things a father does.  Maybe the most important thing a father can do is to set the example for them to follow.  There is no more important thing a parent can do than the right thing even when it costs.  Honesty and integrity have their price.

Being a parent is forgiving your mate when he/she has made a mistake.  Being a parent (and father) is loving your wife at all costs.  Maybe that is the greatest example you can set.  Transmit fidelity and trust and love.  I can not sum up being a father in three more important words than that.

Maybe I will add another:  integrity, fidelity, trust and love.  Transmit all those things to your children and you have succeeded in your role as a father.  Being a father is a lifetime occupation.  You are in it for the long haul.  A lifetime.

Tags: apologize for mistakes, being a father, do the right thing, don't give up, encouragement, fall down and get up, Father's Day, fidelity, follow dreams, forgiveness, genetics, go to work, God, honesty, integrity, lifetime occupation, long haul, love, love your wife, loving your kids, made a mistake, privilege, set an example, spend time with your kids, support your family, trust, we all err, we are all flawed, your mate
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One author stated that every time you criticize a person openly (or even in your self talk) you lessen your ability to love that person. Every time I read that or even think about that statement I balk.

We live in a society where criticism is openly stated. The only questions is how kindly it was done. Very rarely is praise openly given. More likely governments, leaders are openly torn apart.

Every move by our president, our leaders is examined and commented upon repeatedly often negatively. We have supposedly a free press yet at what expense?

Other governments, their population, are not allowed to express any comments even remotely critical of their leaders, government.

If you were to overhear the conversations of parents directed at their kids you would be flabbergasted how critical and demeaning their comments often are.

I far too often criticize my mate and do not listen properly. Listening is a form of love. It is all too easy to go on a tear on your mate.

So when I read those words that to criticize another lessens our ability to love that person I balked. I know I mentioned this but I will again: Phil Jackson (who has won nine NBA championships) did not turn around his career until he realized for every negative comment he made toward his players he had to make nine. (???)

Encouragement in our society does not occur often enough. There are two ways to look at it: one person can accent the positive things a person does or simply correct the mistakes another commits. It is far easier to tear down a person than build up that person.

I know how far I have to go before I properly love my wife (and my kids). Our society has a long way to go including me. Proper Encouragement (another form of love) can potentially revolutionize this world so think really hard before you criticize some one around you. I know I have to retool my thinking. Love is everything.

Tags: critical and demeaning comments, criticism, easier to tear down a person than build up, encouragement, God, listening is a form of love, love, love is everything, my kids, my wife, NBA, negative comments, Phil Jackson, praise, society
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All I ever did was rub his belly every time he turned over and wanted it.  Atilla The Hun (or Tilla for short), who I call one of my puppies although he is going on two, is now my friend for life.

I realize humans do not want their bellies rubbed but I will tell you for certain each of us wants and needs positive strokes every day from our loved ones.  I do.  Maybe I can’t speak for others.

I tell you one thing humans are notorious for their lack of strokes (or should I call it encouragement).  I try to refrain from criticism.  We are so quick to speak up when someone does us wrong or fails us in some way.

There are many dying from lack of strokes, encouragement, affection from others.  We are so stingy with it.  We all like our “bellies rubbed” every day every time we want it.  Think of “Tilla”.  And the many friends you potentially can make if you take the time to indicate to others how much you truly like (and love them).

Maybe you do not want your belly rubbed but a kind word consistently given to another goes a long way.  So refrain as much as you can from telling another how much they “failed” you.  It is often small things.  It is the small details in life.

Phil Jackson, the great basketball coach who has won nine NBA titles, did not turn around his career until he realized for every criticism he dished out he had to give nine positive strokes to his players.  So many times we have that ratio reversed so think about that.  And how many people you can win over if you use criticism sparingly and learn to find positive things to say about the people in your life consistently.

Tags: accentuate the positive, affection, basketball coach, belly-rub, criticism, dogs, encouragement, find positive things to say, God, kind word, love, NBA, our loved ones, pets, Phil Jackson, Tilla, we all need encouragement
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